Do I have OCD, brain tumor, or are it simply allergies?

[Amaranthine]

Yes, this question is about OCD, I just need to make an introduction which by chance is related to allergies.

Ok, here's goes nothing. I've asked so many people what could be wrong with me, no one had a slightest idea. I suffer from facial pressure (behind my eyes, in the corners of my eyes). Apart from this I have conjunctivitis. I've been to an ophthalmologist and he tested the fluids in my eyes, it turned out it's not a bacteria problem. He gave me eye drops in case it was an inflammation and told me to return if they didn't help to do a alergotest. As it turns out I have a lot of allergies, and so the doctor concluded I have allergic conjunctivitis. No medicine helped thus far. While I was taking singulaire the conjunctivitis subsided to a huge degree yet never completely vanished, and once I stopped it all came back. What do allergies have to do with OCD? Well apart from the allergic conjunctivitis I have a tick which dates back as far as 8 years ago. I've had a tick in my childhood (everything that I did with one hand I had to to with the other as well, everything that happened on one side had to happen ont he other) but it completely vanished within a couple of months, this doesn't. I have the need to look to the upper left corner. I've no idea why, but the great desire to look with my left eye into that direction is too strong. The tick is much stronger when I'm surrounded by people, as if my brain is making fun of me and wants to embarrass me in front of many people. Too shy and can't confront people? Not really. I'm everything but shy though I used to be very shy 8 years ago and that changed drastically. However, the tick isn't only prevalent when I'm surrounded by strangers. It's there even when my wife is right beside me. However, the tick is also there, though in a smaller degree, when I'm all alone. The need, the urge, is largely present at night (after midnight) and especially if I'm doing something on my computer. Then (after midnight, at my pc) the need rages and I have to look to the upper left corner almost every 5 seconds and it drives me nuts. Is this due to the allergies or do I have OCD? How to cope with it? Perhaps it's brain tumor?
Thank you for any answer anyone may have.

[Amaranthine]

Thank you for responding to me, you're a great help and a friend in need.

I shall read the book. I'm looking forward to a good book about OCD :) And perhaps it might even help me. You're really a great person, once again thank your for all your suggestions, if anything knowing someone is going through the same...or almost the same...is a relief...it's hard being alone and embarrassed.

I'm very glad to hear you're tackling your OCDs better than before. :) I'm glad to hear you feel like your normal self again, you deserve it.

I'll get back to you after the read.

Thanks once again.

[JGF25]

Hello again.  You know, in reading your post, it sounds like you really did not hit it off at all with this therapist.  Sometimes you have to see a few different people to find one that you feel comfortable with.  One that you feel is listening to you and helping you with the questions YOU have and not the other way around.  

So if after you see the neurologist and if they do say it is psychological, you may want to consider just giving someone else a try. The first session, go in there and say exactly what you said here.  You had a great childhood, you don't believe there was a trigger there and really you don't care what the trigger is, you just want to know what is the best course of action to turn this behavior around.   There really are very few ways to help combat these types of things.  

Lastly, there is a book that I read this past May when I was desperate.  My OCD went into overdrive and I was forward thinking, what-ifing, and catastrophizing everything.  I was jumping from one thing to the next with no relief in sight.  I ordered this book on my NOOK and it explained quite a bit about why we do the things we do.  It is only I think $10.00 on Amazon so much cheaper than a psychologist.  

The book is entitled Self-Coaching by Joseph Luciani.  I has a green cover.

I will be honest and say that my compulsive part of OCD is checking things.  I have not had any tics.  I am on medication and that makes it easier for me to let things go.  Before I had my latest over the cliff breakdown, I would force myself NOT to go back and check the iron, the stove, etc.  It was hard and sometimes what I would do is say "The iron is off" when I turned it off so that when I obsessed about it, I could remember saying that statement and it brought a measure of relief to me, of course after I had that jolt of shear panic. I feel like my normal self again and I really hope and want you to feel the same.  

All my best.  

[Amaranthine]

The therapist said that it might be OCD related but the treatment is the same. The treatments ought to involve therapy and getting to know the cause of the problem. After a couple of sessions it was apparent that talking to a therapist wasn't going to resolve any emotional issues I might have simply because they were typical everyday stress related issues. The therapist apparently thought the cause was my childhood (wow, didn't see that one coming) and just wouldn't believe me I was happy and don't hold griefs of any kind. He branded me depressed and told me continuous therapy, coupled with antidepressants, would solve the issue and many other issues which apparently I have no idea I even have. Apparently he doesn't care if I'm generally a happy person, despite whatever may occur around me. Obviously his pockets are deep and empty.

I said I'm not going to poison my body because there's no need to. I'm not against drugs, and I sure believe that taking drugs is better than suffering. The point is, I'm not suffering from depression. I'm not depressed, at all. I have no idea how the therapist came up with that idea, but searching the internet I've found out that tics are mostly related to stress and/or depression, so I figured he'd rather convince me I'm depressed than find out the actual cause of my tic. It's not that I'm not buying into it from the get go, it's the fact that a few sessions didn't help me at all, just filled his pockets.

The problem with physician is that when they can't find the cause of the problem they immediately say it's of a psychological nature. I doubt a neurological expert would want to see me because of a tic but I'll give it a try.

It's true that the tic is a habit, one which is annoying enough to cause stress, yet one which isn't health threatening enough for my brain to want to manually block it (obviously I'm to lazy to block the action by using my own will). I don't know...the tic is like a drug, it helps me release stress, but at the same time builds up another kind of stress. I've no idea what to do.

[JGF25]

Tics can co-occur with OCD but they can also have a neurological basis.  

So to answer your question of " is there any other REAL expert on the subject besides some stuffed up wannabe psychologists?"  I think the next step would be to rule out any neurological reason for the tic.

I am not a doctor and so I cannot diagnose you on this forum.  I was just going by some of the things you wrote in your original post when I suggested seeing a psychologist to see what they think.  Did the psychologist, based on what you said, come out and say that they thought it was OCD related?  

A lot of OCD compulsive actions are also considered habits and like any habit it takes time and work to break it.  That is the whole premise behind CBT.  It isn't for everyone and it is apparent that you don't buy into it and that is fine.  You also stated you are "not going to poison my body because of some tic I have."   That is fine too.  These are your choices and they should be respected.  

So as I suggested, the next step would be to get the neurological consult and see what this doctor thinks.  I am sorry that you didn't find relief through the psychologist.  I hope that the neurologist will be able to help you.  

[Amaranthine]

First of all thank you for your kind response. I have followed your advice and here is the "progress:"

The thing with the hands, meaning that whatever happened on my left side had to happen on my right, was a thing that lasted a month or two. This tic I have has been going on for as much as 8 years.

It is true that relaxation makes the tic rage, most prominently because my brain functions in such a way that it needs material to work with at all times. There has never been a moment in my life when I didn't think of something, analyze something, etc...apart from moments when I'm cuddling with my wife, but even then I think about how much I love her and how lucky I am. Funny that during those moments I'm at my most relaxed, and then the tic never occurs, not even once.

I went to see a psychologist and he suggested CBT. CBT didn't work since they're full of **** (pardon my French) as that all they do is tell me things I find hard to believe and advise me to stop thinking about the tic or think about how I shouldn't do it. I could have come up with that myself. You need a college degree for that? Most of the time the therapist was just nodding and apparently listening to my answers to his questions. I have friends who listen to me, having a complete stranger do it isn't going to help.

When the therapist figured out I wasn't going to fall for his CBT (be positive, think positive, I'm listening to you, spill your heart out) crap he offered me drugs. Since I'm not going to poison my body because of some tic I have to ask, is there any other method? Or is there any other REAL expert on the subject besides some stuffed up wannabe psychologists?

[JGF25]

Tics and OCD can be co-occurring.  Based on what you did with your hands when you were younger, I would say you have a tendency toward OCD.  The conjunctivitis obviously has been ruled out as allergies.  However, I'm sure your eyes are bothering you.  

I did find this on the web

"Relaxation may result in a tic increase (for instance, watching television or using a computer), while concentration on an absorbing activity often leads to a decrease in tics." This could be why the "need rages" as you said.  

My best advice would be for you to go and see a psychologist to address the OCD which more than likely is the cause of the tic.  It can become an obsession and of course it embarasses you which is why your urge to glance up and to the left is stronger when you are around people.  It causes you anxiety.  The more you think about it, the stronger the urge is going to be to do it.  

I absolutely do not think you have a brain tumor.  So find a psychologist that offers CBT (cognitivie behavioral therapy) where they can teach you ways to stop this OCD tic habit you have developed.  

Hopefully this has helped you and let me know how it goes for you.