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Fear of infected syringe
I had given my blood sample for HIV test a month ago. The tests came out negative and the doctor confirmed I am perfectly fine. However I have gotten myself into a doubt and fear that somehow the nurse has used an infected syringe. Actually the nurse used a syringe which was kept ready to use on the table instead of picking up one from the lot.I remember another nurse picking this syringe from the lot. I also observed that syringe had the cap on it before the nurse used it on me. Now my fear or worry is as follows.
1. I have a doubt that syringe could have been used on someone who could have any disease including HIV and any possible blood infectious diseases.
2. The nurse who kept ready the syringe might have used that on someone and instead of discarding that she could have closed the cap back on the needle and gave it to other nurse who took my blood sample.
3. I have tried to understand that she wouldn't put back the needle cap after using it on someone unless she is so absent-minded.
4. But everyday morning I wake with a doubt, fear and anxiety that somehow I am infected with HIV and many other diseases which I am going to suffer after many years for sure.
5. To test for HIV, I have to wait for another 6 months, till when I have to suffer my anxiety and regarding other imagined diseases I don't know what to do.
5. I guess my ocd is the reason why am I seeking reassurance. I have tried many times to get reassurance from my wife, parents, HIV specialist and the nurse himself. But despite all this, I get a doubt that it may not be ocd and my doubts are normal and meaningful.
In case my question is a repetition, please don't ignore my question.
I would be very grateful for all who can help me. Thanks in advance.
1. I have a doubt that syringe could have been used on someone who could have any disease including HIV and any possible blood infectious diseases.
2. The nurse who kept ready the syringe might have used that on someone and instead of discarding that she could have closed the cap back on the needle and gave it to other nurse who took my blood sample.
3. I have tried to understand that she wouldn't put back the needle cap after using it on someone unless she is so absent-minded.
4. But everyday morning I wake with a doubt, fear and anxiety that somehow I am infected with HIV and many other diseases which I am going to suffer after many years for sure.
5. To test for HIV, I have to wait for another 6 months, till when I have to suffer my anxiety and regarding other imagined diseases I don't know what to do.
5. I guess my ocd is the reason why am I seeking reassurance. I have tried many times to get reassurance from my wife, parents, HIV specialist and the nurse himself. But despite all this, I get a doubt that it may not be ocd and my doubts are normal and meaningful.
In case my question is a repetition, please don't ignore my question.
I would be very grateful for all who can help me. Thanks in advance.
Best Answer
Its all OCD ive been there as well. The syringe thing and i got tested and negative again. But now it moved on to another thing the cotton that they used to cover my wound. And i recognize this thought as the one i had before. Its just a vicious cycle my mind will always find what ifs that lead to my hiv anxiety. Im in better control now the thoughts are there but i stress about them much less. Im also wondering if those fearfull wake ups are signs of ocd because ive gotten them as well. Maybe nursegirl can tell us something about this?
So hope this must not be a worry for me. Right?
Correct, not a concern. It's very normal for a nurse to have some level of difficulty finding and accessing a vein, especially on the first try.
What you're describing, the "what if" thinking is classic OCD. That's called catastrophizing, where you imagine the worst possible scenario. That's where therapy can help you. You need to learn how to put a stop to the "what if" thinking.....that fuels the anxious cycle of worrying.
This will take time, progress will not be overnight. You need to start aggressively working with a therapist and get the ball rolling.
Correct, not a concern. It's very normal for a nurse to have some level of difficulty finding and accessing a vein, especially on the first try.
What you're describing, the "what if" thinking is classic OCD. That's called catastrophizing, where you imagine the worst possible scenario. That's where therapy can help you. You need to learn how to put a stop to the "what if" thinking.....that fuels the anxious cycle of worrying.
This will take time, progress will not be overnight. You need to start aggressively working with a therapist and get the ball rolling.
Another point I forgot to mention. When I read your words that it would be impossible to draw blood from a used needle, suddenly another OCD thought caught me up (not to offend you in anyway). I remembered that the nurse who took the blood sample actually struggled a bit at first to take the blood. This started another fear that could it be because the needle was clotted with old blood. But suddenly I remembered, that the nurse was struggling to draw blood not because it was clogged, but he could not insert the needle into my blood veins properly. He then pulled out a couple of times and patted on my arm for the veins to show-up and then he could get the needle proper and the blood easily came out.
So hope this must not be a worry for me. Right?
So hope this must not be a worry for me. Right?
Hello nursegirl6572, I am extremely thankful to you for your wonderful explanation. I had never thought from that point as you have explained. Yes, I have been diagnosed as having OCD. I didn't realize this for past a couple of months. But I just suffered my hell without a guess that this could be OCD. Although now I know for it is OCD, I often get a doubt "what-if" my thoughts are not OCD but meaningful and precautionary thoughts. I think this is again another form of OCD which is trying to fool me to believe what it says is true. I am now in a control wherein I am able to differentiate the OCD thoughts from others a little bit. I am not yet under any medication. But I have consulted a psychologist who has advised me to undergo CBT which is going to be starting from this saturday.
The main problems I am facing now are:
1) I have fearful wakeups everyday morning with an anxiety which slowly fades away as I startup my day. Is this characteristic of OCD too?
2) Although I am now able to handle my anxiety, I have a mild fear that "what-if" my fears come true tomorrow or if not this, "what-if" my fears come again?
3) I read that the medicines for OCD could become addictive, can have negative side effects, and the problems can relapse again in future so on. What do you have to say about these?
4) I also got to know from the therapist whom I am currently visiting that this illness is not fully curable but only controllable. Does that mean I cannot lead a fulfilling life?
Please spare your precious time to answer my above points.
Once again, I am heartfully thankful to you. I wish everyone in this world could get a nurse like you to take care of.
The main problems I am facing now are:
1) I have fearful wakeups everyday morning with an anxiety which slowly fades away as I startup my day. Is this characteristic of OCD too?
2) Although I am now able to handle my anxiety, I have a mild fear that "what-if" my fears come true tomorrow or if not this, "what-if" my fears come again?
3) I read that the medicines for OCD could become addictive, can have negative side effects, and the problems can relapse again in future so on. What do you have to say about these?
4) I also got to know from the therapist whom I am currently visiting that this illness is not fully curable but only controllable. Does that mean I cannot lead a fulfilling life?
Please spare your precious time to answer my above points.
Once again, I am heartfully thankful to you. I wish everyone in this world could get a nurse like you to take care of.
Hi and welcome. HIV fears is a leading cause of anxiety for the past years. Its not just people with OCD but everyday people as well.
I had a blood test yesterday and the syringe they used was disposible. The one left on your table would have blood evidence in it and impossible the nurse would have used a blood filled syringe on you. Just put this behind you but if you cant, maybe call the hospital and ask if the syringes they use are disposible.
your ok for sure
I had a blood test yesterday and the syringe they used was disposible. The one left on your table would have blood evidence in it and impossible the nurse would have used a blood filled syringe on you. Just put this behind you but if you cant, maybe call the hospital and ask if the syringes they use are disposible.
your ok for sure
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It's important that you start TRYING to take the power away from these irrational thoughts. When the thought pops into your head, say to yourself (or out loud)..."ENOUGH! STOP!". By continuing to give the thought your time and energy, you are giving it power.
Nurses do not reuse needles and other phlebotomy equipment, for many reasons,. ONE, it would make it nearly impossible to draw blood with the used equipment, due to clotting. A nurse isn't going to make her job harder. Also, nurses don't leave used needles lying around, to protect themselves, as well as the pts.
I cannot stress enough how seriously this is taught in nursing schools. Reuse of any type of sharps' equoipment is like a mortal sin. Not only do we learn that in school, but in the workplace, safety is INSISTED upon. Proper protocol MUST be followed, or there is disciplinary action taken.
Please, rather than wasting your life worrying about this, get yourself to a professional. You need to address the OCD, not spend time trying to reassure yourself about a reused needle. You will be relieved for a moment, but the thought will always return. When you learn to break that cycle of thinking...that's when real progress can be made.
Good luck!