Getting the best of me...again.

[CL4321]

Hello all,
I have not posted here in a while because I simply have not had any "exposures"....until today. it is finals week (one of the WORST times to be stricken with fear about HIV), so this is extremely difficult.

Today when i was leaving the library, I felt a ***** on my hand as I was opening the door. I did not think much of it (I was more focused on getting in bed and sleeping) but later on today, I realized my skin was peeling, kind of like a paper cut. I tore the skin off, and saw nothing substantial.

As many of you know, creating situations in your head is common with OCD. I somehow made up a situation so outrageous but I need help. I think that someone stuck a HIV infected needle in the door handle, which is the ***** i felt. That is also the reason for the peeling skin on my thumb.

I did not bleed nor does the spot hurt when pressure is applied. I'm not even sure if it is the same hand because it happened so quickly.

I can't talk to anyone else because they simply do not understand.

Is there ANY way it could have been a needle? Should I get tested?

Happy Holidays and God Bless.

[CL4321]

WOW! thank you so much! I am beyond grateful for this website. It is such an outlet for me. To have STRANGERS take time out of their day to help me, is a blessing. It is a relief to have people who understand me, and are in same boat. Living with OCD is not easy, but kind people like you make it manageable.

Thank You.

[darkenergy]

I was a bio major undergrad and lived with this constant fear that I would somehow contract HIV from one of the labs I worked in. Once I was even thrown into my worst nightmare, which was working at the NIH one floor above all the HIV research labs. I was convinced I would somehow come across infected materials by accident and I lived with that fear during my whole assignment, even though I worked in a completely different unit.

During my years undergrad, I used to call the CDC sometimes and ask what my chances were of having gotten infected under certain (often purely theoretical) circumstances. The reps on the hotline were very specific and told me that even if I got stuck with a contaminated needle my chances were very very low (a quick Google search yield 1:300 chance). They also had virtually no reported cases of scenarios such as the one you describe. I think most of these reports are just myths that after enough time become perceived as reality.

I, too, find that my mind creates fantastical stories when I am under pressure and super stressed. Like you said, it seems to coincide with the times you need to focus the most, and suddenly you find yourself obsessing needlessly about your fears.

You are fine. I can assure you that you don't have HIV...you have OCD. Hopefully as finals come to a close and you get a break, your mind can relax more. Good luck and take care.

[JGF25]

There is absolutely no chance that you were stuck by a needle.  You are simply stressed out more than usual due to your final exams and therefore your mind is going and going and going.  You don't need a test either.  Save your money to go out and celebrate the end of exams.  

I'm not saying that all is right with the world out there.  There are some crazy people that do some crazy things but the chances of anything like that happening to you are so infinitesimally small.  I promise you that nothing bad happened and you just happened to barely nick yourself opening the door.  What we as OCD sufferers cannot do is take every story we read and imprint it onto ourselves.  That is just asking for trouble.  So think about the situation, really think about it, picture it, and you will know that there was nothing there on the door or on the floor.  Do your breathing exercises to calm yourself down.  

Good luck with the remaining exams you have.  

[CL4321]

I forgot to mention that I have seen a story of a man getting pricked with a needle that was placed in a toilet paper container -- and he contracted HIV from the incident. That freaks me out!