HOCD

[OCDgirl123]

i am 13 and i have a major case of OCD, i saw a show that had a person that was BI in it and it made me think many questions, it was not bad at all at first but it got worse, and i told my parents that i had these thoughts and i have a great feeling i am not but i still think about it? is this normal? and i think girls are pretty but i don't think i want to do anything, and i love boys alot, but i am going to see a consler for help and i just want to know if this ia the right thing to do?

[Hocdsufferer20]

Okay so about 3 years ago I got a boyfriend, it was our first dance and it was amazing, he sang to me and we grinded and I loved it, also I had other boyfriends as well. About 6 months into our relationship I went to a parade and there was a lesbian there, my friend who was with me said she was married then divorced then married a girl. I was so sick to my stomach about it that's all I thought about. Ever since that day I could hardly look at my boyfriend who I loved the same as I did just a couple days ago, it's like my whole point of view changed which sucked, I didn't want to be like that I've never been emotionally attracted to a woman and every time I think about it makes me sick. I enjoy sex with my boyfriend and cuddles and kissing him everywhere I just hopelessly in love but my thoughts are confusing me and making me think "no you don't like him no more" when I only had feelings for him. It's so unfair I went for 2 weeks without eating and to this day I don't eat as much as I used to when I was happy with him. I wanted to die so bad and sometimes I still do because the thought of being like that sickens me and I don't want that at all but my mind is like "yes you do" and sometimes I'd say to myself "I'm gay" but then I'd say "but I'm not though..." Because I knew the truth. I've never wanted to be gay, it sickens me but still no offense to people who are. I used to be able to look at a girl and have no connection and look at a guy and be like ooohhh yummy but now men don't seem to turn me on anymore. Like when me and my boyfriend would be in bed I would always want "play time" and I would want him to play with me and I'd enjoy it and I loved when he ate me out cuz id orgasm and get wet right away. Even with these thoughts I'm still totally comfortable being around him and touching his noodle and all that stuff. Okay so now it's been 2 years since and I was happy with him, we got a house and we went on a trip to Mexico and I wanted to have his kids and get married to him and I was comfortable with that but now I don't want his kids or to get married cuz I'm scared that I will go the other way and I dont want to :( I've had ocd my whole life, I would constantly worry about getting ulcers in my stomach so I would worry about that, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without so e sort of light on, I would think that one day I'd kill someone I love or just someone like one day me and my boyfriend were watching South Park and it was the murder porn episode and I got so scared that I would do that to him and it stayed in my head for a few days but wear off. But there was this time where I thought he would die like I was going to go to his work the next day cuz I thought he was going to die so I was going to go and save him, but I'd rather have those thoughts any day then the ones I'm having now because if I'm having those thoughts that means to me I actually love him when I know I do anyway . I'm scared to be stuck with this ocd forever I'd rather die and be with my family up in heaven then to live with this uncomfortable thought someone please help me. ;(

[betheatrical123]

YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE ME! I'm a 13-year-old girl, too and basically have the same problem. I worry constantly about being Lesbian/Bi. It doesn't sound like you are but only you know! If you feel straight in your heart, you probably are! I hope we can both get through this...

-betheatrical123

[joe4545]

hocd is killing me and i keep testing myself even though i know the truth sometimes it feels like im over it then when i give in to the thoughts and i start looking at pics and movies and its nasty to me i almost vomited one time but i still cant say im not gay and get anxity.This is the worst thing u could ever have i hate that i go through this,one time it felt like i almost got aroused but it gave me axity and i stated to cry i wish i could be i use to .i was so sure of myself i could hangout with somebody gay and never think nothing of it now my life sucks and dont know what to do

[JohnyRockerfella333]

Hey, I'm a 13 year, and I'm a boy, I have looked into HOCD and OCD , and ya...I have a some what minor case of it, but getting worse. You need to know, that your not gay or bi...you just have OCD, at some times you get very scared that your bi or gay right? and you cant get it off your mind at all. You just want to stop thinking about it. Well, don't worry, some times it will drive you crazy, but you'll make it though, You just need to remember, your not alone, a lot of people have OCD , I don't know if this helped you at all, but, just remember....when those thoughts are driving you crazy, just say leave me alone OCD , maybe another time. or ...im not bi or gay, i just have OCD :) , hope that helps

[blink1147]

Why is being bi a problem? I am straight, but if I were bi or gay I wouldn't see a counselor. I would be fine with the way I am and you should be too. I know plenty of both bi and gay people and there's nothing wrong with them. If you are, you are. If not, then...

[susieq87]

You are young yet and can change any wayward thinking. Perhapsyou are one of these people that are open to the power of suggestion and this movie impactd it.  We all have strange thoughts at times but the trick is to not get stuck on them, know they are irrational and get on with life and if it takes a therapist to point you in the right direction, com clean with them.

[OCDgirl123]

some one please answer