Confuse with myself....HOCD????

[BAThinker]

Over the past year i started having depression and feeling really down about everything, and recently more so in the past few months ive been confused with myself.  I dont know if im bi or straight or anything i just DONT KNOW....I KNOW that i love woman, i have an amazing girlfriend righ t now in which i am very much in love with, but my ocd which i have had since i was a young boy and had just recenly thr pasts year and a half had come back in a big way makes me think such negative things and i dont know what to think.  I will walk around a d look at someone if it is a man i can tell if they are good looking or not and the same with woman but i get confused and think to myself....Y IS HE GOOD LOOKING????AM I THINKING LIKE THAT???? AM I GAY???? O NO!!!! and i get anxiety attacks and everything goes down hil from there and i cant think of anything else.  At the same time though i try and tell myself that i KNOW i love my girlfriend and thinking these things is horrible.  For pornography i would never use a gay website its not me but i just dont know what to think.....ssi just need assurance and guidence with this because im a loss with everything right now

[lost123121]

I am going through this also, Im not sure what my diagnosis is. I have been told I have OCD but I get confused that maybe its not the same thing? I wouldn't worry about it. Though, just wondering, do any of you feel triggers down there when you see/think about someone of the same sex? I dont know if Im alone in that!
Good luck and dont worry

[Karen9]

I completely understand what you are going through. Recently, my older brother came out to me, and in doing so, it caused me to question my own sexuality.  It became an obsession of mine, causing me to think about other girls all the time.  Like you, I could never see myself actually getting in a physical relationship with a girl, but ALL I did was fantasize about other women.  At the time, I had a long time boyfriend of three years and for months I kept it bottled up and was too afraid to open up to him.  When I finally told him, he was taken back and at first I thought he was going to leave me.  Soon I found out, my impression of how he took the news couldn't have been farther from the truth.  He told me that I should see a psychologist and he was by my side the whole time.  I came to realize that my brother coming out to me, after all these years, had triggered these thoughts, and with help, they could be controlled.

With all that being said, is it possible that someone you are close to has recently come out to you?

[Brendan478]

i understand what you're going through because i have the same thing.
there are triggers for HOCD, such as a traumatic break up (that's what I had) and suddenly you think you're gay. it is something you need to go to a psychologist about.

looking at gay porn is part of the obsession , don't worry its as if you're constantly trying to reassure yourself that you're not gay. if you find a picture that does make you feel a little aroused DON'T WORRY, even heterosexual people can encounter attraction with same sex given the right circumstances.

You'll be okay, just get some help and overcome the dissorder

[sharkjet]

You're not alone with these HOCD obsessions. Check a sight called www.stuckinadoorway.co.uk  This is a common obsession in ocd sufferers.