Aa
Someone help me
Hey I went to a Gp doctor she diagnosed me with our OCD
I've never been attracted to guys when I was young only females
I had 3 girlfriends which I loved at the time I lost my virginity to one of them and my last one which I had sex a lot with when I get these thoughts I get panicky and start worrying about all day and I get dizzy and when I picture gay stuff I do a sound like I'm sick it's not gagging it all started me and my mates and I was fairly drunk and I had a thought about my mate it wasn't like sex thought IT was a thought of a kiss on the check but after I thought it I panicked thinking why would I think that started to worry and think about everyday trying to figure it out then I thought what if I'm gay and I asked my mum what if I'm gay she said it would be alright I'd still love u but she said your not you would of noticed it and found out when you were young so I asked my sister she said the same so I went to a Gp she said anxiety and gave me antidepressants and then upped it in a month then I did some research it sounded like OCD looking at naked pictures of guys to see if I get erect I didn't then I started looking at guys crotches to see if I get aroused then when I will be talking to him I'll be like why am I looking at him and I'd look away Then I went back to the dr and told her everything she said OCD and gave me better drugs to handle everything I go good some days not thinking about then I get a thought and panick about it and it ruins my day coz its all I think about I have good days and then I wake up and have a **** day and back to square 1 all over again back to thinking about it and tryin to explain it going black to remembering my past sometimes I know it's OCD sometimes I don't I don't have enuff money for therapy tell me what u think
I've never been attracted to guys when I was young only females
I had 3 girlfriends which I loved at the time I lost my virginity to one of them and my last one which I had sex a lot with when I get these thoughts I get panicky and start worrying about all day and I get dizzy and when I picture gay stuff I do a sound like I'm sick it's not gagging it all started me and my mates and I was fairly drunk and I had a thought about my mate it wasn't like sex thought IT was a thought of a kiss on the check but after I thought it I panicked thinking why would I think that started to worry and think about everyday trying to figure it out then I thought what if I'm gay and I asked my mum what if I'm gay she said it would be alright I'd still love u but she said your not you would of noticed it and found out when you were young so I asked my sister she said the same so I went to a Gp she said anxiety and gave me antidepressants and then upped it in a month then I did some research it sounded like OCD looking at naked pictures of guys to see if I get erect I didn't then I started looking at guys crotches to see if I get aroused then when I will be talking to him I'll be like why am I looking at him and I'd look away Then I went back to the dr and told her everything she said OCD and gave me better drugs to handle everything I go good some days not thinking about then I get a thought and panick about it and it ruins my day coz its all I think about I have good days and then I wake up and have a **** day and back to square 1 all over again back to thinking about it and tryin to explain it going black to remembering my past sometimes I know it's OCD sometimes I don't I don't have enuff money for therapy tell me what u think
Ok something very weird is happening I got thoughts and anxiety but Im not worrying about I'm worrying over not worrying over it coz I did the acceptance thing and just accept it coz you"ll never know but now I'm worrying over not worrying and my minds saying if your not fearing it then you must be liking it but I've never been attracted to guys as I know of OCD is like deleting my memories and writing false ones and I've had 3 gfs 1st 1 we just kissed 2nd I lost my virginity to and 3rd 1 had sex a lot I've had 3 gay thoughts in my lifetime when I was 8 with my friend when I was 18 about kissing his neck and hugging him which I shook off and went to sleep can't remember how I felt I don't think I was aroused but brain sending me false Info and 1 where I wanted to give my friend a kiss where I had head rush I think and woke up with the what if I'm gay thought to checking reasurring website searching doubt worry its gone from gay to wanting to be gay to bi back to gay now worried I'm gonna wake up gay or worried that I like it is this back door spike coz its a whole new hell
The medication is a wonderful start but when you have those flare ups you need to fall back on cognitive behavioral therapy. That is what I do. I know you cannot afford therapy so look at this website
http://www.ocdonline.com/definecbt.php
It goes over CBT and it also talks about HOCD towards the bottom. You are not alone. You are far ahead of a lot of people. You have been to the doctor, you have gotten a diagnosis, you are on medication. I wish everybody could be where you are...some people just don't want to help themselves and that is very frustrating.
So go over the CBT and give it a try. As I said, I use both medication and CBT. If I start to have a panic attack, I realize it right away and start breathing. Doing this stops the attack from getting out of hand. The medication is not a magic pill that takes everything away. It helps us to let go of thoughts more easily but the CBT is really essential.
Post again if you need anything else.
http://www.ocdonline.com/definecbt.php
It goes over CBT and it also talks about HOCD towards the bottom. You are not alone. You are far ahead of a lot of people. You have been to the doctor, you have gotten a diagnosis, you are on medication. I wish everybody could be where you are...some people just don't want to help themselves and that is very frustrating.
So go over the CBT and give it a try. As I said, I use both medication and CBT. If I start to have a panic attack, I realize it right away and start breathing. Doing this stops the attack from getting out of hand. The medication is not a magic pill that takes everything away. It helps us to let go of thoughts more easily but the CBT is really essential.
Post again if you need anything else.
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