Thank you for that it helped a little bit. And I don't really have the time or money to see a counseller but I have my family that been trying to help as much as possible they don't think I'm gay the say I don't act the way around girls. But This has been going on for so long that I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming attracted to women I know that I don't want to be but I'm worried that I am. And worried that the only option is to be with a girl even though I don't want to its like the second I get better my mind starts freaking out again and I get nauseous its kinda like a panic attack I just want to feel normal again. And stop overthinking things. I still se my life with a guy though. But At times I think its ocd then my mind tells me its not and it making me feel weird where I don't even know how I feel about guys anymore... but have you taken anything to calm down and not think about this stuff? I've been taking valerian it doesn't seem to help but I do notice when it where's off everything gets a little worse.
You're not alone! This *****:( I get how you feel. My mind does the same pattern. I can't even sleep sometimes. Or I'll wake up in the middle of the night and as soon as I do it's like my mind automatically starts to go in the mode and I panic. My sleeping is horrible now bc of it. And not getting good sleep makes it feel even worse bc my body is tired. I feel you on not knowing what to do and if you're gay or not. Is like no matter what someone says you still think you are...it *****:(
At least I know I'm not the only one going through something like this and i realized that I'm not attracted to women but its like my mind won't let me believe that I'm not gay I know to be gay I'd have to be attracted to women and I'm not. And now I've started feeling like I'm actually gay but I don't like girls so I know I'm not. I know it has to be ocd but then its like i cant let myself believe it .This is so stressful. But I hope you start feeling better and actually get some sleep. I'll pray for you. Good luck.