Aa
am i refouled or have HOCD ???
I need reassurement,totally confused is that HOCD??? HELP!!!!!!
I'm a 17 years old boy,i'm so masculine,i have an athletic body.
I was living normally,but one time,when i were watching TV,i saw in a film, a boy who were gay,and he wats to convince his father about,i saw also that he had a girl friend but he crushed into a boy and he turned gay.I saw also a man who was married and discovered that he were gay and many scenes like that on TV .I've never had a true gil friend,and when i saw all that,i feared that i might be gay,when i say this word,my heart start beating,it makes me sick.
I ALWAYS been straight,and in all my entire life,i've have ONLY 3 gay fantasms,i know that it happens to all straight people.But,after i looked in the TV,i become an anxious person,i was desperate from my life,i liked to die when i believed that i was gay,but I'M NOT!!!! I have disgusting ideas,that made me deprimed for a 6 months at least. But,i Only *******ate into girls.When i *******ate ,i feel totally straight,but when i finish,i return to depression.I was desperate.
But when i turned to religion,this HOCD has totally disappered ,and it turned tu ROCD ,****!! and it's now a HOCD!!!
I was talking always to a persons who are intimate for me,when i talk to them,they reassure me,but i restart to doubt for a little thing,for example,if i see my self in a mirror,i say that was feminine,and i'm not straight!! ant it makes me depressed.I took the gay tests and all of them except one the told me taht i a totally straight.
When i see an homosexual person,i become nervous.When i see a guy,an idea go into my head,that he is attractive,and when i see a girl,it's like i see anything,it's not normal,because before having this HOCD,i remember that i have an erection when i see a girl ,but when i see a guy,i'm indifferent.
I remember when i was 12,a gay person french kissed me,and i was indifferent,i have no erection anything,but when a girl that i love touched me,my hert beated and i have an erection,i've always been attracted to girls,but now,this attraction is not like it was.
I was reassured for many times but i doubt , for one year,i had only one erection when i readed a story of a boy who was violed,it made me sick also,but i didnt feel in obligation to *******ate,i *******ate only on girls!!!!
Yesterday i saw a hot women on the net,at the first i havent an erection,but when i started,i had a TOTAL PLEASURE,i felt totally straight,but i still doubt.when i say gay persons who announce that i feel like i'm obliged to do that,and i become depressed,why it seems so real I'm straight,i prefer to die that being like that but why my attraction to girls became less than before!
when i've read a HOCD cases,i've been reassured,but a new thing heppens,when i'm with a friend,when i feel pleased,i say,with girls you arenot,but with guy yes,you are not straight and i become anxious.
When i was reasssured,when i have an intrusive thoughts and don't become stressed,it makes me sikc,i have the idea that i became a gay,and i want to hit something,.i fear that male attract me.When i see an attractive girl,i see my reaction,and when nothing happens,i take that like a proof that i dont like girls.I felt like all my life were a lie and i did'nt liked girls!!but no!
It seems real .when i get aroused with girls,i tell my self that it was a lie,or the last.when i see a guy,or a friend touches me, it seems that i was erected,but i check my penis,there are no erection!!! But,when i imagine my self french kissing a girl i have an erection,but when i tell my self that it was the last ercetion,or a lie
But i dream that i get married,i have a girl in my bed,we exchange cuddles and kisses etc,it makes me happy,but when a boy comes into the scene,i FEAR,i can't sleep lonely!!!!
I have the idea that if i marrry,after a long period i will turn gay,but i'm not,but why i have these thoughts.
I fear that i am a gay person but repressed.
But when i see gay pictures when masturbating,i fell like curious,but it don't turn me on,and when i return to females bodies,i feel like i were lying to myself but not,i dont feel obligated to masturbate on gay porn,i continue with hot female bodies.i remember,in my entire life,i *masturbated only 2 on a gay porn and one when i saw a fememine guy who will be ******,he was like a girl, i think that's why i had an erection,but when i finished,i felt not confortable and when i remember these,it make me sick,because these were an exeption,but when i finish,i feel disgusted,and i do it on straight films,i masturbate much ,i've reached 8 masturbations (on female bodies ) but when i finish,i turn anxious,it reassure me for a little bit.But when we masturbate,our attraction to girls in the real life diminish ???
Last night when i masturbated on straight porn i felt a total pleasure,i fels totally straight.
When i can stop the gay toughts,i say<> and it make it worse and worse.!!! because when thoughts dont depresse me,i feel like i was eased because they didn't made me axious,this last idea turn me into a furious,and my brain telle me that i am repressed.
When i see that i wrot much this damned word Gay i feel anxious.It's like i was lying to my self,but why my brain tells me so???
I feel like my compassion to girls vanished,i want to recuperate that.
I want to return normal,i want to fall in love with a girl,go out with her,have romantic dates and be so eased with my sexuality.I've always wanted to have a romantic date with a girl,exchange kisses,a body contact love etc,but when in had this HOCD,it vanished,when i have a gay thoughts,i FEAR,i dont want to be gay ,when i feel straight or when i feel to be a perfect male i turn very very happy.But when i turn anxious and remember these times of happyness it seems like alie,whey my brain is so crasy???
I never did sex with any women,and i've never had a girlfriend,juste many girls taht i were attracted to,but i'm a little bit shy,a year ago i was saying that i'm a geek and i dont know how to do with girls,and i feel like a loser,i turn to sad,but thse turned into HOCD,and it's worse and worse. I remember when i stared on HOCD, i knew a girl in the beach,we've done a wonderful day,at the starting,i'v felt anxious,because she was wearing bikini and i had no erection,but after,when i knew her better, and we talked a lot,i've felt totally straight,because i've have wonderful thoughts,taht i cuddle her etc.. and i touched her also,i turned me on but without an erection. I became like an idiot,i want to have an erection for any girl who passes,and if it don't happen,i say that i am not straight.When i was with this girl,it was'nt sexual,but with my heart,because i've never had a goof time with a girl,i've always been checking what i'm gonna say. I've always dreaming to have a romantic date with a girl taht i love,cuddle her,take her in my arms,kiss her and these thoughts make me happy,but when i've tryed to remeber them now,they vanish,a thought of a boy comes,and i lose all,i can't continue imagination,it dont make me confortable,i can't contol my imagination for a several times,the cursed word appear in my head,and i remeber,when i didn't mastubated into grils for a week,i had a dream that i was doing sex with a girl,,and i made me aroused,i remeber when i dont masturbate,i have an erection easily when i am confident .
i want to knox if the fact that i've never been in a relation with a girl and i'm virgin explain this anxietu,but i feel like i lost my compassion to girls
a little sensation that makes me sick,like someone touched me in my back when the intrusive toughts comme to me,but they stop ,it makes me that i want to have gay sex but i dont want,it gives me the idea that i want it but not,i dont want to do so.
I want to return attracted to girls,sexually and emotionally,and have aromantic and love relation ship(straight) without having these fears.
I'm a 17 years old boy,i'm so masculine,i have an athletic body.
I was living normally,but one time,when i were watching TV,i saw in a film, a boy who were gay,and he wats to convince his father about,i saw also that he had a girl friend but he crushed into a boy and he turned gay.I saw also a man who was married and discovered that he were gay and many scenes like that on TV .I've never had a true gil friend,and when i saw all that,i feared that i might be gay,when i say this word,my heart start beating,it makes me sick.
I ALWAYS been straight,and in all my entire life,i've have ONLY 3 gay fantasms,i know that it happens to all straight people.But,after i looked in the TV,i become an anxious person,i was desperate from my life,i liked to die when i believed that i was gay,but I'M NOT!!!! I have disgusting ideas,that made me deprimed for a 6 months at least. But,i Only *******ate into girls.When i *******ate ,i feel totally straight,but when i finish,i return to depression.I was desperate.
But when i turned to religion,this HOCD has totally disappered ,and it turned tu ROCD ,****!! and it's now a HOCD!!!
I was talking always to a persons who are intimate for me,when i talk to them,they reassure me,but i restart to doubt for a little thing,for example,if i see my self in a mirror,i say that was feminine,and i'm not straight!! ant it makes me depressed.I took the gay tests and all of them except one the told me taht i a totally straight.
When i see an homosexual person,i become nervous.When i see a guy,an idea go into my head,that he is attractive,and when i see a girl,it's like i see anything,it's not normal,because before having this HOCD,i remember that i have an erection when i see a girl ,but when i see a guy,i'm indifferent.
I remember when i was 12,a gay person french kissed me,and i was indifferent,i have no erection anything,but when a girl that i love touched me,my hert beated and i have an erection,i've always been attracted to girls,but now,this attraction is not like it was.
I was reassured for many times but i doubt , for one year,i had only one erection when i readed a story of a boy who was violed,it made me sick also,but i didnt feel in obligation to *******ate,i *******ate only on girls!!!!
Yesterday i saw a hot women on the net,at the first i havent an erection,but when i started,i had a TOTAL PLEASURE,i felt totally straight,but i still doubt.when i say gay persons who announce that i feel like i'm obliged to do that,and i become depressed,why it seems so real I'm straight,i prefer to die that being like that but why my attraction to girls became less than before!
when i've read a HOCD cases,i've been reassured,but a new thing heppens,when i'm with a friend,when i feel pleased,i say,with girls you arenot,but with guy yes,you are not straight and i become anxious.
When i was reasssured,when i have an intrusive thoughts and don't become stressed,it makes me sikc,i have the idea that i became a gay,and i want to hit something,.i fear that male attract me.When i see an attractive girl,i see my reaction,and when nothing happens,i take that like a proof that i dont like girls.I felt like all my life were a lie and i did'nt liked girls!!but no!
It seems real .when i get aroused with girls,i tell my self that it was a lie,or the last.when i see a guy,or a friend touches me, it seems that i was erected,but i check my penis,there are no erection!!! But,when i imagine my self french kissing a girl i have an erection,but when i tell my self that it was the last ercetion,or a lie
But i dream that i get married,i have a girl in my bed,we exchange cuddles and kisses etc,it makes me happy,but when a boy comes into the scene,i FEAR,i can't sleep lonely!!!!
I have the idea that if i marrry,after a long period i will turn gay,but i'm not,but why i have these thoughts.
I fear that i am a gay person but repressed.
But when i see gay pictures when masturbating,i fell like curious,but it don't turn me on,and when i return to females bodies,i feel like i were lying to myself but not,i dont feel obligated to masturbate on gay porn,i continue with hot female bodies.i remember,in my entire life,i *masturbated only 2 on a gay porn and one when i saw a fememine guy who will be ******,he was like a girl, i think that's why i had an erection,but when i finished,i felt not confortable and when i remember these,it make me sick,because these were an exeption,but when i finish,i feel disgusted,and i do it on straight films,i masturbate much ,i've reached 8 masturbations (on female bodies ) but when i finish,i turn anxious,it reassure me for a little bit.But when we masturbate,our attraction to girls in the real life diminish ???
Last night when i masturbated on straight porn i felt a total pleasure,i fels totally straight.
When i can stop the gay toughts,i say<> and it make it worse and worse.!!! because when thoughts dont depresse me,i feel like i was eased because they didn't made me axious,this last idea turn me into a furious,and my brain telle me that i am repressed.
When i see that i wrot much this damned word Gay i feel anxious.It's like i was lying to my self,but why my brain tells me so???
I feel like my compassion to girls vanished,i want to recuperate that.
I want to return normal,i want to fall in love with a girl,go out with her,have romantic dates and be so eased with my sexuality.I've always wanted to have a romantic date with a girl,exchange kisses,a body contact love etc,but when in had this HOCD,it vanished,when i have a gay thoughts,i FEAR,i dont want to be gay ,when i feel straight or when i feel to be a perfect male i turn very very happy.But when i turn anxious and remember these times of happyness it seems like alie,whey my brain is so crasy???
I never did sex with any women,and i've never had a girlfriend,juste many girls taht i were attracted to,but i'm a little bit shy,a year ago i was saying that i'm a geek and i dont know how to do with girls,and i feel like a loser,i turn to sad,but thse turned into HOCD,and it's worse and worse. I remember when i stared on HOCD, i knew a girl in the beach,we've done a wonderful day,at the starting,i'v felt anxious,because she was wearing bikini and i had no erection,but after,when i knew her better, and we talked a lot,i've felt totally straight,because i've have wonderful thoughts,taht i cuddle her etc.. and i touched her also,i turned me on but without an erection. I became like an idiot,i want to have an erection for any girl who passes,and if it don't happen,i say that i am not straight.When i was with this girl,it was'nt sexual,but with my heart,because i've never had a goof time with a girl,i've always been checking what i'm gonna say. I've always dreaming to have a romantic date with a girl taht i love,cuddle her,take her in my arms,kiss her and these thoughts make me happy,but when i've tryed to remeber them now,they vanish,a thought of a boy comes,and i lose all,i can't continue imagination,it dont make me confortable,i can't contol my imagination for a several times,the cursed word appear in my head,and i remeber,when i didn't mastubated into grils for a week,i had a dream that i was doing sex with a girl,,and i made me aroused,i remeber when i dont masturbate,i have an erection easily when i am confident .
i want to knox if the fact that i've never been in a relation with a girl and i'm virgin explain this anxietu,but i feel like i lost my compassion to girls
a little sensation that makes me sick,like someone touched me in my back when the intrusive toughts comme to me,but they stop ,it makes me that i want to have gay sex but i dont want,it gives me the idea that i want it but not,i dont want to do so.
I want to return attracted to girls,sexually and emotionally,and have aromantic and love relation ship(straight) without having these fears.
Hey! It's definitely OCD. Sometimes, the weird thoughts may seem very real, although in your heart you know that these thoughts are wrong.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not gay and even if you were, that's okay. You are not gay.
OCD is caused by a malfunctioning part in the brain, that is sending wrong signals. Basically, your brain sometimes keeps repeating the same weird thought over and over again. It's very excruciating - I know. But its very curable.
You should go and see a therapist. OCD can be cured with cognitive psychology and sometimes also antidepressants are used. It is perfectly curable. It's a neurological disease, that affects 5% of the population. But it's perfectly curable and you have nothing to worry about.
All the best!
Jaan-Matti
There is nothing wrong with you. You are not gay and even if you were, that's okay. You are not gay.
OCD is caused by a malfunctioning part in the brain, that is sending wrong signals. Basically, your brain sometimes keeps repeating the same weird thought over and over again. It's very excruciating - I know. But its very curable.
You should go and see a therapist. OCD can be cured with cognitive psychology and sometimes also antidepressants are used. It is perfectly curable. It's a neurological disease, that affects 5% of the population. But it's perfectly curable and you have nothing to worry about.
All the best!
Jaan-Matti
why do we have to suffer.. i dont want to be bi i love my bf why cant hocd just go away help me please
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