Send some LOVE to Becky {tybear}

[SimplyStar]

Becky is going through a really rough time right now, she needs our love and encouragement.

I read your latest post on the caring bridge and I want you to know, that I know, you are a fantastic MOM and a super fighter. This time has to be very hard for you, You seen to take all this damn cancer throws at you and find ways to throw it right back. The pictures of you and TY are proof of who you are, a valiant and loving mother.  You matter to so many on the forum and I sure you know we are with you all the way through this latest fight.  Lets hope that this latest chemo does a fantastic job on shrinking those tumors.  Love you hun, Marty

[TrudieC]

Becky, you have no idea how much you mean to all of us here.  Feel the strong love and support that we all have for you.  It is unimaginable to go through what you have, and especially with the strength and humility you've shown to your friends and family.  You are simply amazing and you will continue to be.  I so hope and pray for better days for you so you can enjoy more time with your precious little one.

Love and hugs, Trudie

[Sandymac]

Becky, not much more to add.. You are truly one brave lady and your son is one fortunate little boy to have you in his life. Please know I too am sending all sorts of good thoughts your way.

Sandy

[nyc lady]

Becky - I cannot begin to understand what you are feeling....just want you to know that there are people out here that care a great deal about you and will help you in anyway we can.  As long as you are feeling strong, you need to keep fighting.
Love,
Pam

[Katie116]

Thinking of you and hopeing you are hanging in there. May God's mercy shine on you - Katie

[SwOC5]

Treasure and enjoy every simple moment with your little boy. For you i send my new photo how nature can beat all winter odds an cheer us with simple beauty each spring! Keep well and strong.

[Tybear]

What an awful week I've been having. I was admitted to the hospital last week for severe kidney pain and it turns out my stent (the one I just had put in last December) was already badly blocked and my kidney was huge. The decision was made - time for another nephrostomy. You can imagine how hard this is for me...it was bad enough living with one of them...I'd just gotten to the point where I can get through a day and not really notice it. And now, to have two of them? I don't know how I'm going to do it. So far, it's been as bad as I suspected...I'm in a lot of pain but I know that will eventually go away. Then there's the whole aspect of having two bags of pee to worry about...none of my clothes look right and I can't seem to get comfortable. Not only that, but because my bladder is no longer in use (although I still sit on the toilet every time I go to the bathroom, out of habit I guess) I forget to wake up at night to empty the bags out...I can't feel where they're full. When they get full, it all starts to back up into my kidneys and then I'm back into pain. It's a horrible way to live, trust me...I know I should be so grateful for living, but I haven't gotten to that place yet.
I'm struggling with depression pretty bad too...I have days when it just seems overwhelming to get out of bed. I cry all the time and I'm so snappy with my son. I'm so irritable...being in pain all day and night will do that to you, I guess. My family and friends try to reach out to me and instead of accepting their help, I push them all away. They don't want to see how crappy I feel, or how unhappy I am. They want me to say that things are going great so they don't have to worry about me. I just can't fake it anymore...I just can't.
I'm sorry for this "poor me" post - when I started my reply, what I meant to say was how much it meant to me, to see this post with my name on it and what nice words you all sent to me. To know that you're thinking of me when you all have such busy lives as well? Well...it means a lot to me. It truly does.
To top of my bad nephrostomy expierence, I also got the results of my CT scan and it wasn't good. My pelvic tumors have grown, some of them by two centemeters and the cancer has spread to my lungs. I've called down to PMH and will be seeing my oncologist there next week to see if there are any clinical trials I may be eligible for. More wait and see...
I hope all this sadness ends soon...I wish I could make it all go away somehow, but I can't.
Beckyxx