surviving victim of cancer

[msjazz]

how do you live without a spouse? Donna Marshall is my eyes,legs, feet,hands,mind and body. I am not as strong. I am a weakling. Without her, I too wont will not survive.. I can't save her. Thanks for helping her through her friends with MH. She is not with the better man yet. Donna is stilll with me.   Johnny Marshall

[TrudieC]

Johnny, I cannot even begin to imagine how much you must be hurting.  I pray that you will be strong enough to support Donna and send her off feeling comfortable that you will be fine.  And you will.  Use the support of friends there with you and us here on MedHelp.  Join a grief support group.  My Mother finds that she has learned to live better without my stepfather by the support in her group.  Others who have lost their loves can help you to talk about your pain and move forward.  No one and nothing will ever replace Donna in your life.  You will find joy in your life again and Donna will be smiling down on you with thankfulness and love.  She only wants the best for you in the same way you do for her.  Peace be with you.

[suthrnbrwneyz]

Johnny,
My heart and prayers are with you.  You sound like an amazing spouse, and you are both blessed to have one another.  Know you are in my prayers.

[SimplyStar]

It is very tough to be left behind, and know that now you must say good bye to all those special times, that only the two of you do together.  I lost my hubby of 42+ years, 14 years ago, it took me some time before I could "stand alone",  But then I thought, better him than me, I knew it would be rough for him to  handle life with out a spouse.  So I think that God sometimes makes the choices for us,,  Can you say, yes Donna, better you than me, cause I can handle this and I would not want you to have too. We know we cannot save them, we have a deep love  in our hearts for all they say and do, but at the end , we must say good bye and let them go. I hated to let my daughter go, she meant the world to me, but God took her first, and told me to wait, it is not easy, but I know that Donna and Leslee would have wanted to be first, to spare us the pain,  but God felt otherwise. They say that time helps, it does in small ways, but this initial hurt  feels almost more than a person should bare. Leslee did a lot of crying at the end, I feel it was because she didn't want to leave us and was worried about who would take her place as the care giver for all of us.  Donna and Leslee took care of us, even in their illness, shielding us from what ever they could. Now it is up to us, to be our own caregivers and make them proud, that they "taught" us well.  God Bless you Johnny, we have loved and lost, but have gained many preciious memories, when the time comes to take them out and relive those moments,  they will help bring back those happy times.  Treasure those hours and days.   Marty

[crecco]

Johnny,
   It tore my heart to read your post. I know how much that Donna will be missed here, I can only imagine the pain you are in right now. As hard as it will be, you will go on. That is what Donna would want. Just know that we will all be here for you should you ever need anything.
   You have been very lucky to have had Donna in your life and she has been lucky to have you. She has been through so much now, that soon she will be happy again and free of the clutches of this terrible disease.
   My heart goes out to you. And I wish I were there to hug you and tell you it will be ok.
Cherish these times so that you will have beautiful memories to hold on to when things get rough. You are both in my prayers.
   Love Chris

[kipland]

I have only corresponded with Donna a couple of times, and it was recently.  I had come over to the ovca forum after my mom passed away earlier in the year.  I admitted to Donna that I was a "lurker", and had been following the updates on her.

I don't know why, but I felt compelled to send her a message and she sent me one right back.  I have to tell you that it wasn't hard to tell the kind of person Donna is just by her reply.  She did tell me that the hardest part was watching her family torn up.  

Believe me, I've stood by my dad - whom I never really saw cry, and watched him sob over this.  I know how hard it is.  My mom was my best friend, and my big strong daddy was a mess.  But we're all hanging in there.  I have to say that if it weren't for my faith, I don't know if I could have made it through without a breakdown though.

Like the others have said, lean on God at this time and let him comfort you.  I've currently reading a true book about a man who "died" in a car accident, but came back to life to tell his experience.  He got a glimpse of heaven!  He said the beauty was beyond words.  I've heard it told that we'd never wish them back here on earth if we could see how beautiful Heaven is.  Trust that Donna will be in a beautiful place, free from pain and disease.  And you will one day be reunited with her.  Hold on to the memories of your loving, beautiful wife.

I'll keep you and Donna in my prayers.
~Lori

[Tybear]

Johnny...I'm so sorry for all that this disease has done to you and your family. To have to watch the woman you love go through this...well, it must be heart breaking.
Donna was a huge support to many of us here battling this monster...please know that she touched the lives of many.
You are a lucky man to have her in your life...but I somehow think you already knew that.
Becky