I can relate to this post. I want to tell people about my story and be very frank, so that perhaps people know there is hope.
When I was a child in second grade my mother had a severe head injury which resulted in me feeling neglected as a byproduct, on top of that she had OCD and issues with hoarding. In attempt to get myself out of the situation I started to work full time while going to school too at the age of fourteen. I then moved in with a boyfriend at the age of 16 or 17. Just before that time period I was raped at a party. I believe to this day I was drugged. I just woke up in the morning and some guy was on top of me.
I held this in as perhaps I was trying to cope and letting people know would make it more difficult for me since I felt I was a private person. The boyfriend I had at 17 was very emotionally attached to me he would keep saying if you ever leave me " I will kill myself". Not knowing coping skills at that time I just ended up dating a 30 year old male and moved in with him. He was very verbally abusive. I felt I was in constant state of stress. I felt at the time that I loved him but it was unhealthy. I was needless to say stuck in that cycle. Constant verbal abusive towards me- you are not good enough, you are ugly, you are dumb. I was so depressed and by lack of sleep I had little motivation to move. It was just like a struggle to get up to survive. He basically brain washed me to get into stripping and then would punish me verbally because of it. One night he slammed by body against the ground. I knew I had to leave in order to survive.
Then I moved to another state... I had night sweats and issues coping. Would go into the bathroom and cry in random places. I was just always crying. During my sleep I had wanted to punch the air. I remember although it feels very distant now how bad my body felt then. My whole body ached. How I would just react instead of being rational. I moved to another state again a few years later and finally got treatment EMDR for post traumatic stress disorder. I would say that this helped me very much. I felt after treatment that it was just faded memories of the past. Also, as much as I tried prior to treatment just EMDR I never used drugs or hardly drank, I tried to do a lot of self healing by thoughts and using yoga. I'm not saying that just doing superficial exercise helps, but everything I could do in my power to get better I kept focusing on that.
I think people are often given medicine too much to solve issues that could be done another way instead of medicating. I am not a professional in that area, but a lot of drugs seem to have adverse affects on people. Just my life observation here not a medical doctor. The EMDR was a very helpful, but I think too in addition, the power of positive thought and forgiveness of letting go of bad things that happen to everyone in life, also the power of keeping a support group and doing things that will uplift our spirits. I have since then became a certified hypnotherapist. I would consider hypnotherapy after the professional sessions using EMDR.
Often, and I am not sure of this as a fact there may be some residue later on in life or triggers. If you ever feel emotional flooding after treatment keep a written dialogue of your feelings. Writing is a powerful tool as you can keep record of your thoughts and feelings, healing in nature as the human psyche just at times needs to be heard.
I am sorry for your loss. Wishing you the ability to heal from this..
Hi Peace;
I just wanted to say I am so very sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I know exactly how you feel... My son was also. he was murdered July 14th, 2006.
I too have been diagnosed with PTSD, Panic Disorder, Clinical Depression, Anxiety, also Major Depressive Disorder. I have taken various drugs for such as Prozac which I took for a couple of years and then weaned myself off when I felt I no longer needed it.
Sometimes I begin to get so depressed, for I miss my son so much! And then I begin thinking that maybe I sould go back on the Prozac to numb myself out again. But then the depression begins to lighten a bit and I change my mind. The depression seems to come in like a storm... sometimes the waves get really big and overwelming and then they calm back down again.
Prior to my son being murdered... I was already diagnosed with PTSD because of other severe emotional trama that I have suffered. Does it every go away? I don't really know, but I do know it seems to get better at time.
Feeling for you, take care; Sonflower
I am here to tell you there is hope. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and Panic Disorder/GAD. Since then I have undergone EMDR therapy for the PSTD, it works. Look it up online to find someone in your area who does this form of therapy. No drugs, no invasive tests, just you, the therapist/Doctor and a significant other if needed. Panic attacks and the anxiety worked on ruining my life for many years. I underwent hypnotherapy and within a few months I no longer had any attacks. I haven't had any for over 13 years. That is proof. I never thought it would go away, I thought death was the only way out. But there is a way. Psych yourself into trying to bring on an attack, when you are in a safe place. Try real hard. Betcha can't. It is a fight or flight response to a real or imagined threat. You can trick your mind to make them stop. When one does come on, go with it. Tell it to give it's best shot, bring it on. You will lessen the effects. Eventually you can get a hold of your mind and your life. I had a great hypnotherapist that taught me so much. Hypnosis was my miracle. Relaxation techniques are very close to hypnotherapy. If you can find a good hypnotherapist, go!
the ptsd symptoms may never go away i mean
depending on the trauma involved , you may never go away mine will not after14 years i will never forget- drifter0213
It sounds like you might be getting treated for bipolar. Increasing the Lamictal (which is commonly used for bipolar - I actually take it) is common.
Cymbalta reacted with me like pdr7686 mentioned - suicidal tendancies.
Talk to you doctor about the issues you are having.
Racheal
I am very sorry to hear about your son. If you need someone to listen you can go to my site. Also, please get a Psych. Dr. and maybe a therapist to talk too. God Bless!!
I certainly am not a doctor but I will share with you what happened to me when I was on Lamitial. I had been warned by my Psychiatrist if I broke out in a rash to immediately let her know because it could be deadly. Well, I developed a rash and immediately was taken off it. I think, if I remember correctly, it is called Stephens Johnson Syndrome. I have also been tried on Lithium which did not work for me. Not meaning to scare you but one of the side effects of Prozac is suicidial ideaizations. It did not work on me. Although my mom is on it & has been for several years. I have also been on Wellbutrin and Klonopin. For me, the Klonopin seems to help my condition more but I am on other meds also. I consider you a very blessed person and am glad you got to the ED. It will probably take alot of trial & error to get you stable on meds. Bless you!
If no doctor answers you here, post on the Mental Health forum.Is a psychiatrist prescibing the medication? I have had a good experience with that.
I am very sorry about your son.
Best,
Anna