hi, i’m 18 years old and 2 days ago i watched my entire world die right next to me. she had just been diagnosed with pneumonia a few days prior when we had to rush her to the hospital at 3 a.m. because she was having trouble breathing. after having to leave her there for 2 days so she could get oxygen therapy, they gave her to us with a bunch of meds and they said she was better and could recover. on saturday my mom and i were laying with her on the bed and my mom noticed her tongue was purple. she went to go tell my dad and suggest we take her to the vet. i stayed with her and she moved closer to me. then she made a motion that looked like she was stretching, so that’s what i thought she was doing, but then she wouldn’t go back to normal. i looked at her and her body started twitching. i yelled for my mom and she came in saw her, my mom said “oh my god she’s dying”. those were the worst words i’ve ever heard, i felt like my world was falling apart. all i could say was no no no no and i started sobbing while my mom held me. i couldn’t look back at my dog, who was still twitching, not being able to breathe. i couldnt even form words anymore, everything i said was unintelligible because i was crying so hard, my dad had to take me out of the room and i didn’t want to leave. i knew she was dying right behind me. i couldnt watch. my mind just shut down. after being taken out of the room by my dad i went to my bed and just lied there in the same position just sobbing, not saying anything, not moving. that whole event that took place in less than 3 minutes replays in my head all the time since then. i try to remember my dog when she was happy and playful but all i get are flashbacks to watching her heart give out right in front of me. it happens when i see her toys, pictures, or if someone just mentions her. i loved her more than anything. she was my best friend since i was a child. safe to say this is the worst pain i’ve ever felt and i can’t see myself moving on.
don’t know if this is relevant but i’ve been diagnosed with major depression, anxiety disorder, and ADHD.