Suffering from PTSD for the last 20 years

[SmileyChelly86]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this site but I thought I would see if anyone here could help. I am a 29 year old female and I have suffered from PTSD from a repetitive traumatic experience since age 9. I have been in and out of counseling since age 15 and nothing has really seemed to help. I'm a very private person usually and I have a hard time being face to face with professionals, discussing my experiences, becsuse I don't feel like I can relate to them. Therefore, I feel I don't think they can help me if they haven't experienced similar trauma. I would like to know if there is anyone out there that may need someone to talk to, as a friend, or may be able to guide me towards some help. For many years I was able to distract myself from my underlying issues but they have so severely affected my life, my choices, and my relationships with others. Please help.

[drifter0213]

the first thing I had to stop was alcohol I was killing myself slowly then I prayed (I'm not religious ) to stop and stay stopped then I addressed my other problems cuz I can think clearly so my last usage was 8 sep11.i changed my life and it allowed me to help others I have a mental rap sheet: SZ PTSD anxiety panic psychotic mood disorders and addictions; alcohol cocaine sodas sweets sex and nicotine. I'm sorry about your trauma was publicized my trauma ended up on the world and national news.i will not talk about k. I have tardive dyskinesia that affects my tongue it moves on its own drives me bananas I take three pills for it :( my side effects are permanent :(

[SmileyChelly86]

I'm a good listener if you ever need someone to talk to. My trauma was publicized and I grew up in a small town. So everyone my whole life has known about my personal life and it still gets brought up even now when I visit. My past haunts me bc I keep having to face it instead of being able to walk away and leave it behind me. I have a condition that heightens my already existing anxiety and depression and it's gotten harder and harder to cope over the years. These demons are scratching at the surface, threatening to break through and I don't want to pull anyone else into this black hole with me.

[drifter0213]

you are not alone I can relate about what others can relate to nobody wants to hear about what happened to me what I went through and whats the nature of the trauma I don't like talking about it I just wanted to self medicate  unfortunately I now have a psychotic disorder