Disappointment

[Sarajmt]

I had an RFA today.  This is the second one.  The first one worked great (very little pain afterward) .  They really took their time today.  I was in the treatment room for one hour.  Unfortunately, it appears that the lower center abdominal pain is caused by the fact that my bladder is plastered with adhesions and stuck on the abdominal wall.  Only cure for this is surgery.  My adhesions are too thick.  I shouldn't do any abdominal surgeries unless my life is in danger.

I know I shouldn't get my hopes up.  I've been playing this game for 15 years.  I know it was foolish.  So back to the heating pad.  At least the pain on the sides is gone.  But after chocolate therapy and a little swim in the self pity pool, I am feeling a bit better.

Do you get your hope up?  Do you keep looking for that magic pill that makes it all go away? Or is everyone else much wiser than I.

[Tuckamore]

Hi Sara,

My heart goes out to you. Yes I have been just where you are....searching for that magic treatment, hoping the next pill would be the magic pill that would take this all away....and absolute denial that this would be a life long journey through chronic pain.

So don't beat yourself up. I've been at this for twenty years. There came a time for me a few years ago that I accepted my fate, this is as good as it gets. But with that acceptance came almost a peace. I haven't lost all hope, one can never do that. But I am realistic. There may never be a sure for my pain. And I like you cannot surgery abdominal or pelvic surgery of any kind unless it is a life threatening condition.  

When I feel sorry for myself and take that swim in the self pity pool I remember all those that have it so much worse than I do. Just like you do. I count my many blessings. And I do have many as I am sure you have also. So what if I can't play softball anymore or dance!! I can and do love and still learn.

You should always have hope, just put it in perspective. I say that I am optimally optimistic....as I eat that half box of chocolates :) I am forced to eat that much because I cannot decide if I like dark chocolate better than milk chocolate!! :)

Share with us your bad days...as well as your good. That's one of the reason we are here. Together we will get through this painful journey.

((HUGS)) to you and all of us that suffer with Chronic Pain.
~Tuck

[Sarajmt]

Thank you Sherry and Mary.  It seems that when just as soon as I really do have it in my mind that this is my life so just make the best of it, I turn around and get hopeful.  I'm sure I'll do it again.

It really does help to come here.  It makes me realize that life could be worse and despite the fact I can't do as much as I'd like, you can still have friends.

And Sherry, the chocolate was delicious!  

[mellie4]

So sorry, Sara.  It's so disappointing when we don't get the results we're hoping for.  I guess we never give up hope and we keep going for that elusive treatment that will make us new again ... or at least will make us a bit better

[namnam46]

My dear Sara...I'm so sorry that you got the news that you did today!! I am glad that the pain on the sides are gone for you. It sounds like you have a really caring Dr. that took his time and tried to get everything placed in the correct place for your RFA. I'm keeping my fingers that maybe you might get still more relief in the days and weeks to come. (See there's that "hope springs eternal" thing again.  :)

We all get our hopes up and crushed more times than we care to think about. I want that magic pill so badly. I don't remember what it feels like anymore to be pain free. I'd love to have that feeling just for 24 hours one more time in my lifetime!!! We wouldn't be normal if we didn't keep looking and hoping for that magic pill or treatment or surgery or just praying that some morning we will wake up and be cured.

But, tell me, how was the chocolate therapy???? I hope it was SUPER GOOD!!! Sometimes that swim in the self-pity pool helps more than anything else. If we didn't keep looking and hoping we wouldn't be normal!!!

Take care dear friend, we're here for you always.....Sherry