Need to Vent...

[kmart1977]

In reading many of the posts here I see that just as I am many of you are extremely upset with the way the 'system' is & the stress it puts on our physicians to even be able to treat us properly. It's very upsetting that so many people that are truly suffering have to go through so much just to be able to find a doctor that will treat them properly.
What is so upsetting for me isn't really the fact that people seeking out pain docs simply to get their hands on the medicines make it so hard for the rest of us to get the medicines we need to function & live a healthy life, though this does bother me very much, it's more so the fact that it puts our doctors in a position where they have to be on guard constantly. We all need to be able to have a close, trusting relationship with our doctors & these people are making that all but impossible. What upsets me so much is that not only do I feel as if my doctor isn't taking me seriously but it is really hard for me to trust my doctor also! Lately it's been getting harder & harder for me to feel comfortable at my appts because I feel like my doctor thinks I'm a nutcase. He is wary acting towards me & I feel like everything I say & do is going to be taken wrong & all of this simply because I chose to be honest & share some very private things with him. Shouldn't we as patients be able to do this w/out having to worry about coming under scrutiny or being treated like druggies? Arrrgggghhhh I'm so upset! I really feel I've lost the good relationship with my doc, that's more important to me than the meds, though I know I need to be treated somehow to be able to live my life. Does anyone else feel this way? I have a feeling I'm going to have to find a new doctor soon, I don't know that this is going to work once it goes bad. I've read several stories on here similar & that always seems to be the end result.
Just wondering if I'm the only one feeling this way. Not only is the DEA, pain contracts, drug seekers, etc etc making it nearly inpossible for us to obtain our medicine they're also destroying the ability for us to communicate with our doctors on a healthy, trusting level.
Thanks for letting me vent, yet again! KM

[sandee1818]

My doctor is very personable and insist that everything in life effects pain levels. Your children and husband and family in general and the housework, and everyday life. He knows the names of my children and family and he always ask how they are and even ask how my husband/children and my relationship is and if my pain has affected it and how. It is so nice to talk with him as he understands. I think of him as my doctor, friend and psychiatrist too.
I suggest you look for a doctor with more understanding as they DO exist:)

[dame_wilbur]

I can sympathize with the frustration of your feeling that your doc isn't taking you seriously. I had a similar experience, and now am (as Molly suggested for you) looking for a new doc. I need one that I can feel comfortable with, and one who will actually listen to me.

I too find it *VERY* frustrating that people abuse their ability to get pain meds, either by lying, doc shopping, or whatever. I'm extremely limited on what kind of pain meds I can get thanks to some stupidity in my youth. That means that I have no painkillers that I can take daily. I'm limited to 3 days/week relief, and even then, I only save those for the REALLY bad days, because it's such a struggle to get a new script.

I think you have every right to be frustrated, as people who abuse the system give the rest of us a bad name and make our docs unwilling to help us in the way we need to be helped.

~Dame

[SageRave]

I can definitely understand how you feel.

I learned long ago to only talk with a doctor about the health issue that led to your making the appointment, and to confide only in those who cannot exercise control over other aspects of your life, or take notes on your appearance, your perceived state of mind, or anything else that may serve to limit your access to relief.

Be confident in your doctor's ability to deal with the issue at hand. Limit conversations to that specific issue and ALWAYS have copies of your medical records. If you feel there are unfair or unwarranted opinions in your records, file corrections.

[Brenndy]

Hi K and thanks for your kind note.

Sadly, this repeatedly heard scenario remains constant.  I am so sorry you are experiencing these unpleasant feelings. CP sufferers know all too well the shamefulness we are apt to feel when presenting a narcotic prescription to our pharmacy; especially the initial one that draws that belittling stare from the pharmacist.  

I agree that if you are not 100% confident, as well as comfortable with your current physician, seek help from another.  A good doctor-patient relationship is paramount to one's good health.

Moreover, I would recommend same when choosing a pharmacy; good rapport with your pharmacist is crucial.  No one should feel 'anxiety' and the like when presenting their legitimate Rx to any pharmacy.  

Take care K.  

[Tuckamore]

It happens every where, every state. Abuse knows no age, gender, race or social economic status. Physicians have to be cautious or risk the real possibility of losing the license they they worked so long and hard to obtain. So yes I feel bad for the physicians.

However I feel worse for the many chronic pain patients that suffer needlessly because of of all the abuse that occurs. Abusers that make most every physician suspicious of their patients...and the vicious cycle goes on.

In many issues pain has to be "seen" or some how be able to be documented beyond any doubt before any physician will prescribe a narcotic, even if you are writhing in pain. In my case it took years, and I do mean many years before any one took me seriously enough to actually search for a reason for my pain. One neurologist (four years ago)actually called me a liar when I said I had never had an MRI. Yes, that was his word,  "Liar."  I've been called a drug seeker, malinger, faker and other similar "kind" words that I have thankfully forgotten. I was so beaten down by the medical profession that I quit complaining about my pain...and I developed a plan to end my life. Luckily before that happened I stumbled across a very astute, kind physician that recognized my pain without me saying a word and almost immediately diagnosed me.

So yes I have compassion for these physicians that are so monitored by the DEA. But before this monitoring ever happened it was still near impossible to obtain pain releif. That is unless you were dying with something they could actually "see."  My heart is with the CP patients that suffer needlessly.

I have found a wonderful understanding physician. We are like "friends." And though I tell her a lot I do not tell her everything about myself.. If I have a bad day or an argument with a family member that totally upsets me and feel horrible inside I don't share that with her. It's a fleeting moment and has no bearing on my health care needs. It'll be over in a day or two. So knowing what to tell your physician and what not tell your physician I beleive is important. Certainly anything that is relative to your health must be shared.

If you feel uncomfortable with your PMP it's time to move on. Remember we pay our physicians. We hire them to perform a service. If they are not meeting our needs or performing the service we hired them for to our liking...then it may be time to find a new physician. At least that's my opinion.

Best of luck to you,
~Tuck

[Sarajmt]

Last summer I was in my PMP's office.  2 men entered wearing shorts and t-shirts with badges around their necks.  They proceeded to arrest a woman in the waiting room.  Also they stated they'd already arrested her husband at their home.  

Apparently from what I learned subsequently, both she and and her husband honestly had severe pain issues from a car wreck.  But they were going to several pain doctors obtaining multiple prescriptions for the same injuries and selling what they didn't use for their own pain issues.

This really made me angry.  I understand financial hardship because of pain issues but what they did makes it all the more difficult for patients and doctors alike.  We jump through hoops to get the meds we need to get through the day.  And doctors have to be so careful with their records and procedures to keep the DEA off their backs.  No wonder some doctors look at us with skepticism.  

[Mollyrae]

I have to say that a lot of it depends on your Doctor and the relationship the two of you have. I have a fantastic Doctor who knows me well. I have been seeing him for about 4 years now. The previous Doctor I had was a 17 year relationship and these two Doctors are affiliated with each other...so they know me.

What Pain Patients don't understand is that it takes awhile to build relationships and to find a Doctor that they are very comfortable with. I realize that there are many drug abusers looking for their drugs to abuse and it's a problem. This is why it's so important to stick with a Doctor so that you can build trust.

Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the one you're most comfortable with but they are out there and you can find them.

When your Doctor acts weary of you and doesn't take what you say seriously, then it's time to find one that does. Sometimes opening up completely can work against you. My Doctor thankfully is not that way...but many are. You really have to have the trust issue going for you.

Don't worry,, I have felt this way with certain Doctors that I've seen when mine has been out of the office. Some like to play God. Be careful in the future of what you say to the Doctor until you're absolutely sure you can trust that he won't judge you.

Sorry you're feeling so down.

My best,
Mollyrae