my latest

[mcclos10]

Well, I decided to post.  I haven't as I have mentioned because of all of the infighting and people coming across so judgmental.

I got the results of my bone scan today and had an apt. with my Dr. to go over my rib dislocation that no one seems to know what to do with.  I have a lot of degeneration.  More than expected but I have osteoporosis too and have since 28 so I guess it shouldn’t be that big of a big surprise.  Now they are going to do a Dexa scan because I haven’t had one done in quite a few years and they need to evaluate bone treatment overall a bit further.  The sad part for me is that I found out that my ribs are just going to stay and look like this for the rest of my life. We have tried every discipline and every option so this is it.  They can’t be “fixed” It’s pretty disfiguring beyond the pain and that makes me sad.  I have so many physical scars and this is just one more thing.  I am pretty small 5’4 125 so when I wear a bathing suit etc. it’s extremely noticeable.  Also, it’s one more type of chronic pain to add to my list for the remainder of my life.  I will be 36 this Weds. And sometimes the thought of dealing with all these things forever is a bit overwhelming.  The meds, the side effects, pain, scars, loss of activity, geesh!!

Then I find out this afternoon my husbands co worker’s wife has end stage brain cancer and now I feel guilty for having a pitty party for myself today.  It sure could be worse.  I have my life and the family I love.  Things could always be worse.

[mcclos10]

Thank you for the thoughts and support I appreciate it.  I am feeling a little less sad today.  

[Tuckamore]

I am glad you posted too. I have been wondering how things were for you and have kept you in my prayers. TMA is right, please do not feel guilty. My problems are directly related to a horrid MVA I had that I was not suppose to survive. Obviously I did and so many people said to me that I should just be 'happy' I didn't "die". I should look on the "bright side." And don't get me wrong I am thankful every day that I lived BUT the "bright side" left me with horrible body scars (I was 34) and pain that is unbearable most days. Bathing suits are not an option for me. So I know some of what you are feeling. Hang in there. It sounds like you have a good doc that cares about your well being. We are all here for you.  Take Care, Tuck

[Toomanyadvil]

Hi mcclos,

I am so sorry to hear that your husbands co-workers wife has end stage brain cancer. I'm going through the same with my Aunts mother and know exactly how your feeling when you say you feel guilty. Brain cancer is a terrible terrible thing and there are no words to express the sadness you feel  when you know someone who has been diagnosed with it.
Please know that its okay to feel badly about what your going through. You can still feel for what your husbands co workers wife and family are going through and feel for yourself also.
Please dont feel guilty. Guilt has a way of consuming you and stopping you from finding solace for what you are going through. What your going through is important and we are all here for you.
TMA

[fibromama]

I agree completely,,I too have weeded through the good the bad and the ugly when it comes to Docs,,,thankfully I found a good one,,,,one to keep.   TTYL  have a goodnight

[mcclos10]

Thanks for the encouragement and support.  I don't know about anyone else but sometimes the day that you get smacked with a little reality about a situation seems to be tougher than others.  My doctor is great and at least he is very honest always about what to expect.  I have had docs in the past lead me on with false hopes etc. and I would much rather deal with reality whatever it is so I can move on and adjust.  Thanks again!!

[sandee1818]

I too an sorry for your pain, you don't need to feel bad for feeling a loss after all it is a loss that you have to deal with everyday and we all know some days are better than others. Your ribs being somewhat disfigured is a loss to you as you have to deal with ways to deal with it and the pain. I wish there were more I could do for you. I am glad you have good Dr's that are taking care of you that is important.
I am happy you decided to post, we are all here for you and will help anyway we possibly can:)

[fibromama]

I truly hope things get better for you soon and I will pray for you and your husbands co-workers wife.  So many of us have ailgments that keep us down and out, yet we live and go about our daily lives in one way or another,its hard but we do it and we have to do it for our kids and family's.  I hope to keep in touch with you,friendship and talking help somewhat.  Your a wonderful person to stick in there with what your going through,,keep it up and have a wonderful rest of the day :)     TTYL