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Avatar universal

should I be concerned

I have a question(s). I am the godfather of a almost 8 year old boy. He is a very sweet and smart child. I find some of his behavior odd. 1. When ever I visit his dad (my battle buddy from the US ARMY) he always wants to sleep with me, or go where ever I go. I have even caught him waiting outside of the bathroom for me to finish my business. 2. Lately he has been very affectionate, he will come up and try to kiss me on the lips. I tell him no and if he wants to give me a kiss it has to be on the cheek, but this does not work. I love my godchild just like my own children, but I'm concerned about his behavior. Any suggestions or exp to share that will help?
9 Responses
5914096 tn?1399918987
Do these behaviors only occur with you or with others including his father?  Have you discussed your concerns with his father?
Avatar universal
He does kiss his parents on the lips, but as far as I know other than his parents only me. No I have not discussed this with his father.. I'm reluctant to do so, knowing how he reacts.
973741 tn?1342342773
He sounds very attached to you.  It really is up to his parents to set boundaries and I'm not sure why they aren't doing that.  I kiss my own sons on the lips (especially my very affectionate 9 year old) but would think it odd if he tried to kiss an uncle or good male friend of the family on the lips and would stop him and talk about appropriate levels of affection with different people.  Does he perhaps have any type of developmental delay?  I ask this because my oldest son has sensory integration disorder.  he did not get some things that come naturally to other kids.  Like do you hug a complete stranger like you do your best friend?  No, of course not.  but he had to be taught that as he didn't make the connection on his own.  

But if a male came to the house to visit and my kids wanted to sleep with them, yes.  I would think was funny for a second without for a moment entertaining the idea.  Do this boys encourage that kind of thing?  

Something seems off by the parents non involvement in these behaviors.  

Waiting outside the bathroom is not worrisome to me because that is just a sign that he is excited you are there and while intense, not that odd.  

But other things sound a warning bell for me that there is either something going on with this child or these parents.  And that the parents are not doing part of what IS their job with this boy.  good luck
5914096 tn?1399918987
I would definitely discuss your concerns with his parents.  There are very obvious boundary issues that need to be addressed.  The parents need to set these boundaries for him.  If not addressed, this child makes a perfect target for sexual victimization.  That is why these issues really need to be addressed ASAP regardless of possible reactions.
Avatar universal
As for the attachment, I think you are right on that part. I do show him a greater amount of love and affection. Kissing your own child on the lips IMO is normal (depending on the family) as I still get kisses from my own daughters that are now adults. As I did not raise any sons... I might be making a mountain out of a mole hill. As for my observations his parents are not the physical affection type. I'm wondering if he does not get the physical affection (hugs, closeness, etc) from his parents will this lead him to "look" for this somewhere else with someone else. This in it self scares me.
Avatar universal
Thank you for your advice, and SpecialMom too.
5914096 tn?1399918987
You are more than welcome!  Take care.
973741 tn?1342342773
You sound like a good person to be worried about this little boy.  Hope it all works out for you to let his parents know they have some things to address in order to help him.  Best of luck to you and let us know how things go!
Avatar universal
Ok. I had a long talk with my godson first, got a very good idea on how he feels about me and his parents. Talked about boundaries and appropriate ways to show affection to people he loves that are family and who is not. Then had a sit down with his parents.Dad took it like I thought he would. Very defensive and hurt. I was surprised that my godson did tell his parents how he felt. Proud of him. Got a lot of I wish Uncle J was my father and he treats me like a person. My brother (as I think him as, proud the day he asked me to be his son's godparent), he has a lot of thinking to do. I suggested some family counseling, I hope he takes my offer and suggestions. If not I will still be there for my godson and do what I can to help and protect him.
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