Teenager doesn't want to come home

[toughlove17]

Hello everyone, this is my first time going into this site and really hope God put it in front of me to get the answer I need.  My 16 yr daughter has been out since yesterday afterschool, she was going to stay over a friends house and when I confronted her that I wanted to talk to her friends mom, everythihng started.  She's been lying and lying, but the point is that she does not want to come home and I have no idea where she's at. She doesn't answer my telephone calls but has texted me that she's ok and she will come home when she's ready.  I feel with no power no matter what I tell he, she doesnt tell where she's at. I went to the Miami Beach police and they told me that I cannot report her missing because she's been in contact with me, therefore she has not been kidnapped, abducted or any of that stuff.  So in other words is all up to the paretns.  please help me I feel my daughter is in control and I cannot do anything until she comes home.  But I am very worry.  thanks for reading

[Sadyra]

My son is alot like many of these other kids. He is rude, disrespectful, and thinks he owns the whole house. He enjoys making his sister and me cry. His favorite words when you try to speak th hom is "F off". He has been at a friends for a little while so he can work at a new job, he finally came home tho and first thing he does is sneak his girlfriend in to sleep with him. He is 15 years old. She is not allowed byher parents to see him so I can only imagine if they woke up and found their little girl gone! I told them both this was not happening in my house. My rules are simple! No boyfriends or girlfriends allowed in your bed!! This is not the first time either. When we first moved here he tried the same thing with another girl. I put my foot down and said abolutly not.. so he left. He lied and told everyone I was cruel and kicked him out. Now I find out months later this girl got pregnant by him (at her house) and got an abortion. He will never learn. he seems to thrive on hurting others and hates me with such a passion. I really dont know what to do anymore

[Youngwildfree1414]

As a 17 year old girl, doing what she did. Tell her ur done. Tell her that she can come pick up her stuff and treat her like an adult. Dont give her any money, nothing. She is enjoying u freaking out. After she realizes she cant make it in the real world. She will come back.

[hurtingmom134]

I am a mother of a 17 year old addict. I have set rules boundries and stand behind my word. He is violent and wanted to control my home. (which BTW; he has never seen any of these things from us, his parents) I had him picked up and taken to REHAB on Septemeber 26, 2011. He did 72 days. Came out worst .. Since he new that in my home he can not do as he pleases he did not want to return home after REHAB. He went to live with his Aunt. Of course after 2 months there she did not want him anymore because of his drug use. He went to live with a friend.

He was out of my home for 7 months total. I decided to let him back home because he came crying back and ended up in a hospital and kicked out of school (he too was an honor roll student) He said he was ready for a change. I new he was not ready but my husband and I allowed back inn... giving him the rules. No Drugs - No violence - NA meetings...so on. first day back he had an argument with my husband. Strike 1. A week later had another argument with both of us. (Violent - always threats ** please note he has punched my husband before) I am NOT SCARED OF HIM!!!! This was his Strike 2. On the 29th day I found drugs in my home and I was done. I gave him 2 choices: You can leave my home. Or you can go to a rehab home that I found for him that is Christian based and will help you. He said that I was crazy that he is not an addict that he does not have a problem. He decieded to leave my home. He walked out on a Monday a 12:30AM.. told my husband that he rather live being him with drugs than have to be stuck in house with all these rules. I said ok theres the door. My heart hurts A LOT.

I'm trying to make this story short. There is a lot more that I have not written here that my son has done to all of us in his family. He has burned a lot of bridges because his addiction has taken over his life. I packed his things set them outside my home for him to pick up. In his bag I left him a note: Pretty much saying - I love you with all my heart I will always be here for you when you want to begin to live a sober life. I included the information of the REHAB Home that he can go too. I cant more ... I will never give up. But he CAN NOT control my home, my family or ME. I as once an enabler ... But I have learned through this journey that we as parents can only do so much. That an addict or a troubled child or person has to WANT to help themselves. My son does not understand this. What teenager does? But I had to let him leave... he needs to learn. I will continue to fight for him. And when he really wants the help I will be there for him. But for now... its one day at a time. God has a plan.

For those of you with troubled Teens --- Always remember that you are not alone.

[upset8251]

i am only 14 myself and my mother has kicked me out after i was arguing with her boyfriend as i did not feel it was his place to hit me and tell me i had done the wrong thing by being late home? i  now live with my dad quite far away from my mum and all my friends i know very few people and im not enjoying the school that i am at however i would like to ask what happens to my tv and xbox and dvd player and all my things like that taht mean alot to me because i have saved from paper round to buy them ? what can i do as my mum says im never having them ???? plz help????

[HelpMeWithMyTeenager]

It seems that you have allowed her too much freedom.  She is still a child, and  your daughter.  If you can find her, bring her home and speak nicely with her about her new life.  Tell her you have allowed her too much freedom and that things are going to change.  That you are sorry you have allowed her too much freedom, as it's not good for her.  Be gentle, be loving, but firm.  Ground her and remove her social media tools until you see a change in her behaviour.  Make sure you communicate with her.  Don't allow her to go out - she now needs to earn your trust again.  It is not negotiable that she chooses whether she wants to return your messages if she is out.  This is the message she needs to get.  You don't have much more time to help her become responsible, so make sure you do it now.  The Lord help you and give you wisdom.

[jules675]

I have posted my story down below, but my folks have turned on me as well. Thought my teenager stays with me he spends many hours on the weekends helping them with their property.  My folks were at court yesterday and have stated that since my son has lived with them his grades have improved (it's only been 4 months!). One of his best friend's mother has also said (in court papers) she has never seen my son so happy since he has lived with his grandparents.  Be prepared, many will turn on you and keep any postings or conversations short as they will be brought before the judge or printed. Best wishes.