Aa
A
A
A
Close
Parenting Young Adults (18-26) Community
85 Members
Avatar universal

Adult Son 26 texts 19 year old daughter asks to "see her boobs". What to do?

I was woke up this morning by my 19 year old daughter who was in tears saying she got a strange text from her brother who is almost 27 years old and lives on his own...He is my step son...her half brother. He moved out of our home at the age of 17 to live with mom and very seldom visits or contacts us...anyhow...The text asks how she's doing...asks about her Xmas ( it is now February) then asks if he can ask her something that she should keep secret... Thus at 10 pm...at 11 pm he asks if he can see her boobs...at 1am he says he's sorry and that he has " weirded himself out" my daughter got none of these texts the day he sent them ( yesterday ) as she was busy with her job as an EMT first responder fire fighter...this morning he texted only one word her name and a question mark.
My daughter is very upset...I have no words to console her with, the whole thing has me very concerned...confused...angry...and just out right blown away. We told my husband ( both childrens biological father ) and he just says he doesn't know what he can do...kinda shrugs it off. Our son does not consider me his mother and has always resented me as he sees me as keeping his father from reconciling with his mother.Though I have loved him and raised him as my own... I don't think this should go unaddressed. At this moment I'm all for confronting him with a baseball bat ( but refrain as its illegal ). He has once told my daughter...I think she was 13 at the time... that she wasn't his "real" sister. I'm assuming his mother told him this as they only share fathers. She was very hurt as she considers...quite accurately...that he is her brother. Now this texting...She is so emotionally hurt by it all. How does one approach this? Surely it is not common? Not something you just let go as curiosity. They are not little children. Am I over reacting? HELP!
I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
4 Responses
1699033 tn?1514116733
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there.  Well I don't care what his other mom says but he is her brother and yes this is inappropriate behavior and I don't feel you are overreacting.  He is 27 for God's sake and he should know better.  Now I do wonder whether he was in his right mind at the time and perhaps had friends around that used his phone or egged him on to write that but still it does need to be addressed.  If your husband won't do it, then I think you should give him a call.  Let him know that his "keep this secret" is not secret and ask him what the deal is and why he did it.  Now as you know our kids open their mouths and lies fly out and that is more than likely what is going to happen.  But he needs to know that you know, his sister is very upset and that this behavior is not to be tolerated.  Good luck and let me know how it went.  
13167 tn?1327197724
It's actually VERY common for children in  blended families to have sexual behaviors toward each other.  This isn't quite blended,  but the same dynamic occurred,  and he left 10 years ago and has little contact.

I think you should teach your daughter to walk past stuff like this,  and move on.  This isn't the hill she wants to die on.  

This is a half brother,  not really in her life,  who is inappropriate and kind of crazy.

After she tells him not to contact her,  Move on.  This guy she already knew was "off" has said something inappropriate to her,  evidence that her opinion and instincts are correct,  but that's kind of enough attention to give to this incident.

Now you know what he's like,  it's all useful information.
Avatar universal
Slap him tight. And explain the respest and dignity of a brother-sister relationship.
Or else, he may ask the same question to you as well... Dnt ignore such things helplessly. Go and remind him that you are the mother and also have the right to stop him from making mistakes, at any age of life.
Avatar universal
It's normal, He was probably drinking. & any girl who works for EMT is attractive. It's not right but He was probably really drunk.
1 Comments
Still very inappropriate for his age.
Have an Answer?
Top Parenting Answerers
13167 tn?1327197724
Austin, TX
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
6 essential foods for new moms (and their newborns!)
What to expect in your growing baby
Learn which foods aren't safe to eat when you're eating for two.