Grandmom doesn't know how to help

[MIMI930]

I questions is regarding my grandson's problem with controlling his anger.  He is 5 and has a 2 month old sister.  Which we have been trying to understand his attention getters, because his sister has so much right now.  Today he went to visit his Aunt who has 2 bunnies.  He was feeding the one bunniy and was left alone with it.  When his mom and Aunt returned to check on him; he said don't come out here.  Then he ran in the house and said to his mom and Aunt that he hurt the bunny and he was sorry.  My daughter ( his mom) said he seem to say it like he really wasn't sorry, he just didn't want to be in trouble.  The bunny was dead.  When questioned he said he wouldn't eat for him so he started punching it.  He killed the bunny.  I am really worried about this.  Where should we take him to get help.  He is a very smart kid.  He can read already.  I know he knows he killed the bunny.  I raised 3 children myself and I never ran into this type of behavior.  We really could use some help.  Thanks.

[Kimber784]

Hello!  I know what you are going through as far as trying to find answers when it seems like there may be none.  I have 3-boys One 17 and in jail. Out in 3-months, but been in jail 3-different times. One who is my step-son who is disrespectful,has a bad mouth and who is now a high school drop-out,One who is 10 1/2 and, is staying in trouble at home and, at school. My 10 yr. old has ADHD and is on meds. He has a lot of problems w/ life too. He tends to show his anger in bad ways as well. He hasn't killed anything or, anyone .Bu! He makes a lot of threats.He told a boy at school the other day he was going to stab him with a pencil and watch him die. Today, he pulled a knife on his step-brother. I hope your grandson can maybe see a Doctor who can help him with control of his anger and problems. My 17 yr old was the same when he as 5. He is supposse to be on Lithium, but! won't take it. He used to hurt animals as well. Counseling didn't work for him when he was young or, now that he's older. It didn't help w/ my 10 yr. ld either. Good Luck! I hope thing can change for you and your Grandson.                                                                                     Kimber784  

[RockRose]

Grandmom,  as awful as this story is,  it's not necessarily a pattern.  He probably didn't mean to kill the bunny,  but was taking out his anger on the bunny.  

This is something to be watched closely.  I do know kids who have had one episode of being cruel to animals and it didn't become a pattern.  These things happened during times of great stress - and it sounds like maybe the birth of the baby has caused him some emotional strain.

In his case,  I would allow him to express remorse - and not put him in the position of becoming defensive about this.  Remorse,  and guilt,  when they are allowed to come from inside really help teach kids not to do that again.  Can you have a little memorial place for the bunny and let him put a plant on it,  and apologize to the bunny?

Best wishes.  I don't think all hope is lost here.