I am at a loss

[jaci007]

My son is 11 years old and ever since he was a child he as been different. He never wanted to do anything that may cause him to get hurt. If I tried to teach him how to ride a bike, he would flip out and have a panic attack. Tonight he went to a skating rink with his cousins and his Aunt, and came home saying he was dying because he fell down. He was completely out of control and acted like I was abusing him because I wouldn't take him to the hospital. Mind you, he didn't have a scratch on him. I talked to his Aunt and she said he didn't fall too hard. Every year I see him getting worse and worse. The kids at school don't like him, he's not very athletic, he's over weight and refuses to exercise, so I have to force him to go outside. I've tried everything to no avail. I'm very frustrated and wish he would just stop being so dramatic. I try to do what I can but he just wants to sit around and feel sorry for himself. I'm at a loss, I have no idea what to do. I want him to have friends and to be happy, but it seems like he is afraid of everything so he doesn't allow himself to learn new things or meet new people. It's like he wants everyone to feel sorry for him. It's really starting to disturb me. Next year he starts middle school and I know the kids there will eat him alive. What should I do?

[margypops]

Your son is seeking some more positive attention, is his Dad involved with outside ganmes and sports, sometimes children could use some direction and it comes from the adults in their life. Apart from not buying  food that will put on weight you can help with encouraging him , only get food in that is healthy and he will loose weight, he cant gain  weight in the 1st place unless he gets food from somewhere. , you can help him with this especially if you and his Dad are also overweight. Focus on his positive side, and praise him when you see him doing something right, build his self esteem, very often this is all children need .

[jaci007]

Thank you so much for your advise, I did look up anxiety with children, and yes it does sound just like him. I have already started looking for a doctor to help us with this. I don't want to go to the family dr. because he will just prescribe a med. Before we go that route I would like him to have therapy.

I think he is also wanting attention whether it is bad or good. Every week, including today his teacher has called me complaining about his behavior. This is so frustrating!!

[jdtm]

It sounds to me as if your son is suffering from anxiety - perhaps "generalized anxiety" or "social anxiety" or maybe even OCD.  Anxiety also tends to be co-morbid with depression and I also wonder if this might be a factor in your son's health.  I might suggest you google the phrases "generalized anxiety" or "anxiety in youth" or similar words/phrases to see if these descriptions remind you of your son.  If so, then it is time to see your family doctor.  If anxiety is the issue, I assure you that your son will not outgrow it nor will it go away.  If your family doctor is not able to help your son, then request a referral to a medical specialist with experience in anxiety issues.  And, if anxiety is the issue, your son will require help in learning how to manage his fears/ anxieties.  But, anxiety is very treatable and the prognosis is excellent for those with this issue.  I wish you the best ....