I hate having one child

[zez]

I have one boy of 8 who despite the fact that he seems happy enough I am constantly fretting about him and I am starting to get depressed about things.
The problem is that the only opportunity he gets to play with other children is from school and I find it difficult to try and arrange things with people, and I am also having problems knowing who his freinds are at school. He moved to a new junior school and has been there about 6 months now but he was the only new boy, and although I think he is generally okay and is playing with people I don,t really feel that he has made good enough freinds to bring home like he did at infant school.
We have no cousins of his age in the family and I am quite shy so there are no mom friends with children the saem age who we can just go and visit see during the holidays etc.
I am so fed up with people whose children I have over during holidays etc who I always have to instigate any contact with and who never bother to get in touch with us, if it wasn,t for me texting, my son would never see a soul and return invites don,t happen very often sometimes they don,t even reply to my texts.
I know that many people suggest clubs and things but they have always just turned out to be children that he sees for 1 hour once a week etc and they don,t really get him friends as such.
I have come to hate life as it is and fear my son been on his own all of the time and don,t really know what to do about it.
I wanted more children but have fertility issues so it hasn,t been possible can,t help but think that all of this wouldn,t have been a problem if my son had have had siblings.
Things with children in the neighbourhood have not worked out with there been too many cliques etc.
I have seriously thought about adopting a child of similar age so my ds has somebody.
I am so envious of those families whose back garden is heaving with cousins, siblings, neighbourhood children, friends etc.
At the moment I just feel like a nuisance to the one or two people that I do text who sometimes don,t even reply and who never bother to make contact with us.
Please am I the only one feeling like this.

[KatEyes]

I understand you wanting your child to have the benefit of long term bonds like are found with siblings, cousins, and close friends. Do be careful not to idealize a lifestyle not the one life has dealt you. There's a fine line between providing opportunities and forcing friendships.  Try to avoid efforts that set you or him up to feel like failures if it doesn't work out exactly as you hope. You are openly burdened about this, and I can appreciate your concern. I'm just concerned that worrying about it may hinder you enjoying the life you and your son are blessed with - just as it is.

Maybe talk to your son about being on the lookout for other kids at school (or play) who seem to not know everyone. There are other kids out there looking for a friend. Also, getting him involved in a service project is a great way of having a feeling of community even when among people we hardly know.

While adoption and foster care are wonderful, you might want to talk with a counselor before pursuing that. It would be a disservice to bring a child into your home for the sole purpose of meeting your son's (and thus your) needs. It can be one purpose, but not the primary one. Please don't place that burden on a child who has needs of their own. And along with another child will come rivalry, jealousy, fighting - all the things loving siblings do from time to time. You have to be emotionally prepared to parent both without favoritism.

I do wish you well in finding ways to open doors for your son to develop new friendships. And I wish you peace in believing that giving your son the security of a having a loving caring mother really can be enough, and that he will naturally develop friendships as time goes on.  

[margypops]

I understand how you feel, I think probably you are more concerned than your son is maybe these are your fears,  ,have you thought about foster care /or adopting it would certainly help and give child a home.I get the feeling on reading your thread you are lonely  possibly you could get some things going for your self, if you are married does your husband participate with the family, play ball games and outside activities with your son.You need to get out and have fun aswell.,I have felt the same way only mine has taken the form of the empty nest syndrome so I have filled the void in several ways ,keep busy, go out ,do MH to help others with some input and help. In the mean time keep taking him to the clubs and get him into sports , dont worry about him as children are very accepting and do pretty well.