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Aggressive 12yr old

My son is 12. He has been a behavior prob at school bc he doesn't sit and listen and talks constantly. He always blames me for everything he does. He recently made a paper gun and the school said he threatened to kill ppl. I'm very concerned. He's never been able to make friends easily and resorts to acting up to get attention. I also have a 9yr old son that tries to act out the same way bc he says his brother gets all the attention. I've tried grounding my son and he sleeps the whole time like its nothing. He rolls his eyes and mumbles running his mouth when he chooses to ignore what I say. A few weeks ago he hit me. I honestly love my sons so much and it kills me that he's doing this. What can I do to help him?
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