My daughter is almost 6 and she is disrespectful and she lies.

[rwahid]

My daughter, who is almost 6, is out of control. She is very smart and loves to be busy. The problem I have is she is extremely disrespectful, and she make up outrageous stories that she know will get to me.When I ask her again she will laugh and  tell me she made it up. One of her stories was she and her dad's girlfriend were in the store. She said that his girlfriend let her walk way behind her and someone tried to take her. She said she didn't tell her dad. Then she told me not to ask her dad about it. Is she crazy?  She knows how much I constantly talk to her about bad strangers and how upset I get if she says someone wasn't watching her. I mean  her dad and I are not together. We all get along well though. Him and is girlfriend have a 2 yr old daughter together.She does well with her but she has a problem mimicing her when she comes home. His girlfriend and I take her and her sister places together occasionally.  For some reason she crys if she has to go to her dad's. She is worse when she comes back from his house or his parent's house. I'm am very frustrated and I'm out of answers. I do live with my parent and she loves them very much. She does see friction between them and I. She gets mad at them when they argue with me.  She is a sweet child but, it seems she has a mean streak in her. She throws fits, she just started hitting me recently, she makes up stories, she talks back, and she doesn't listen at all. It's getting worse and I feel like i'm always getting onto her. I've spanked her, taken things away, and I now I'm so frustrated I feel like I'm just being mean because I yell because of frustration. She's seen me cry a few times because of it.  I need some advice badly. What do I need to do? I'm scared she will stay out of control.

[joen]

Sounds to me like your 6 year old is jealous of Dad's other family.
At this age, children are learning to control their environment.  I don't think keeping her away is the answer.  I think you need to get her Dad involved in this. Te two of you need to discuss (without accusations) how to handle the stories...  whose chain is she trying to jerk???  yours? er Dad's?  his girlfriends???   Did it work?

She obviously didn't want you to tell her Dad.  which gives her the control in this situation.  You need to include her Dad any time she does this sort of thing.  No she isn't crazy she is a 6 year old child  trying to manipulate her environment.  She needs to be taught what is acceptable and what is not.

  (It has just begun and will continue for the next 14 years)  Just remember, it's her job to push the limits and your job to show her where those limits are, so don't take it personally...

[margypops]

Does she have to go if she says she doesnt want to, do the Courts Force them to where you live,??They dont where I live ,the child gets to say ,its not suppoised to be a punishment is it., tell them she doesnt want to go to them your Daughter is the Important one here not them.

[margypops]

How often does she go to them can you cut it back a bit with an excuse, you obviously have a gut feeling that she  isnt too happy there,kids dont always tell as they know there are repercussions, and she would say on the Phone shes fine wouldnt she,I expect there are other people there.The girl friend possibly has some jealosy issues and as they have a 2year old she wants all the Dads attention for her child, I suspect this is what is happening and your daughter can be picked on even without them meaning to be mean. Dont send her as much if you can, and try to talk to her again you may get some insight, I think this little girl tells you the Truth and you have to find a way to help as it wont get better if they do have issues.

[rwahid]

Well I will always believe what she says no matter what. Although she says she made it up I always ask them. I've asked her why she doesn't mind when she comes back frome there house and she says it's because at her dad's house she gets in trouble and has to go to time out. I've also thought it could be because her father wasn't around until she was 3 and maybe she hasn't formed a bond with him. She is also with his parents alot and she's very familiar with them because although he wasn't around they have always been around since day one. I just want to know any advice on how to correct her other than time out, taking away privlages, and obviously yelling doesn't work. I don't spank but I have before and no doubt it's no good. It just teaches them how to hit when they get angry. I call her twice a day when she's at her dad's or his parents and I ask her if she is happy and having a good weekend. She always is fine. How else would you suggest to ask without throwing out accusations that could be false? That would cause major friction. I want her life to be as good as it can when it comes to her parents. I have thought of that really I have but I just need to figure out how to get through to her in a positive way. I always tell her no matter what she can tell me whatever she wants even if she feels to scared to or someone told her not to. I told her she never has to be scared to tell her mommy. Thankyou for the advice:)

[margypops]

She may not be telling lies I would check out what she tells you, there is a cry for help here, the acting out is because there is a problem Maybe she needs to stay home more if the Behanvior is happening when she visits her Dad , you need to be more aware and not blame her be observant and seek some councilling if need be to find out Spanking wont help.