Aa
Bother and sister exploring (51/2 and 61/2 yrs old)
My son and daughter have a normal relationship as far as a love/hate relationship. They are both great kids and come from a loving family as well as surrounded by a loving family. We are all Christian and they know the difference between right and wrong for the most part. They have their own rooms and now have a young brother as well who is 11 mo. old.
The other night I let them sleep in the same room b/c they wanted to watch a disney movie. I said that's fine. Later on I went in to let our dog in b/c he like to sleep in my sons room.
Well I walked in on my son hovering over my daughter (which my son is the younger one) who seemed to quickly pull his underwear up or adjust it. He immediatley starting crying and said I'm sorry. I told my daughter to get to her room. I was very agitated at this time, and felt sick to my stomach. I went into each of their rooms to talk to them by themselves to ask what they were doing. They both had told me they were kissing.... I kept asking over and over what else?! My daughter at one time told me they were touching bottoms.
I have never dealt with this before and confused on how to feel or deal with it. I did not scream at them nor spank. I simply told them I was disappointed in them both and God was not happy with them. I had also told them that nobody touches you in your own private areas. That is the their own private area and nobody elses. My husband had also had the talk with them of what is right and wrong. Also what is a lie and what is not. We also told them if someone ever asked them to do something that had to do with their private area to say no and tell an adult they trust. It also lead into strangers, etc...
I felt we were as thorough as possible without telling to much for their curiosity to grows. Even though we did all what we thought was right, I still feel wierd about it.
They seemed very sorry and not really fully understanding at the same time.
Did we do everything we should have and is their any other suggestions? I know they are very close in age and this type of thing is going to happen as far as curiosity.
The other night I let them sleep in the same room b/c they wanted to watch a disney movie. I said that's fine. Later on I went in to let our dog in b/c he like to sleep in my sons room.
Well I walked in on my son hovering over my daughter (which my son is the younger one) who seemed to quickly pull his underwear up or adjust it. He immediatley starting crying and said I'm sorry. I told my daughter to get to her room. I was very agitated at this time, and felt sick to my stomach. I went into each of their rooms to talk to them by themselves to ask what they were doing. They both had told me they were kissing.... I kept asking over and over what else?! My daughter at one time told me they were touching bottoms.
I have never dealt with this before and confused on how to feel or deal with it. I did not scream at them nor spank. I simply told them I was disappointed in them both and God was not happy with them. I had also told them that nobody touches you in your own private areas. That is the their own private area and nobody elses. My husband had also had the talk with them of what is right and wrong. Also what is a lie and what is not. We also told them if someone ever asked them to do something that had to do with their private area to say no and tell an adult they trust. It also lead into strangers, etc...
I felt we were as thorough as possible without telling to much for their curiosity to grows. Even though we did all what we thought was right, I still feel wierd about it.
They seemed very sorry and not really fully understanding at the same time.
Did we do everything we should have and is their any other suggestions? I know they are very close in age and this type of thing is going to happen as far as curiosity.
I agree with what u said. Children will be children. Curiosty is how they grow. It is good u didn't yell or spank them. But u also shouldn't tell them u and god are dissapointed in them. They are young children, they are still learning. I disagree with what margypops said. I wouldn't worry too much about them being touched or anything. It IS normal for kids to participate in this stuff. I have 3 boys and raised my lil bro. I have caught my bro and oldest son experimenting with friends. Did I praise it? No,but I didn't blow it out of proportion either. Kids tell other kids, and it makes them curious and they go to the nearest and closest child. Kids see adults kissing they get curious as to why? So they do it. They notice their bodies are different. They wonder why? It is normal. Just keep close eye on them. But by the way ur son acted, I doubt it will happen again. Hope this helps. If u have any questions feel free to message me.
I appreciate both of your fast response!
Margypops, I did ask her and she simply kept saying I dont know... We have a feeling it was from T.V., so we ended up putting a lock on all shows that are rated above PG. So it dosn't matter when or what channel it will automatically lock it. (That makes me feel a little better) So yes you are right about that. So thank you!
aid821, you made me feel at ease with your response. I think I needed to hear someone else say everything will be fine. It's hard when the same two people are going through the same thing (husband and wife), and having to tell ourselves we did the right thing. You want an outside opinion without telling someone you know. It is embarrassing and I dont want anyone to think less of my children. So thank you as well! :)
Margypops, I did ask her and she simply kept saying I dont know... We have a feeling it was from T.V., so we ended up putting a lock on all shows that are rated above PG. So it dosn't matter when or what channel it will automatically lock it. (That makes me feel a little better) So yes you are right about that. So thank you!
aid821, you made me feel at ease with your response. I think I needed to hear someone else say everything will be fine. It's hard when the same two people are going through the same thing (husband and wife), and having to tell ourselves we did the right thing. You want an outside opinion without telling someone you know. It is embarrassing and I dont want anyone to think less of my children. So thank you as well! :)
I think that the eldest may have seen this behavior children do not simply begin to do these kind of things so it may be an idea to think of who they have been alone with or what they have seen on TV or the computer. When you speak to your daughter ask her Why and who she may have seen doing this ...it may be a good idea to let them watch TV with you in the living area so they are supervised ..
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You hit the nail on the head with what you said yourself. I think this was simply a case of curiousity and innocence, not intent. Additionally, you did the right thing by not yelling or screaming at them and instead, letting them know that it's not the right thing to do. Children as young as they are, don't understand unless we tell them right from wrong. lastly, judging by your sons reaction, i don't think it's going to happen again. :)