my eight year old son very angry all the time.

[sinlou]

I am at my wits end.. He yells at myself and husband always. never listens. teacher is always calling me every week crying to me.. I have him in a class after school for behavour problems  seems nothing is working.
he yells at me calls me names. hits me  .he steals from me and friends. we talk with him  nothing works.
he hits his sisters. he has destroyed his room. and anything that is near him when angry.. I feel it must be my fault.
I find myself always yelling now. an still does no good. we adopted our kids .. he was two  and yes a very hard life at such a young age. but thought with love and support he would be fine. instead he acts as he hates me.
tells me to shout up calls me bad names..  I have no idea I have tryed time outs  still does not work. have taken everything away from him many times he does not care. could care less if he gets them back.
I try  if you behave then you can do this or go here where you wanted . nothing works. he says he does not care.
I am done... I feel like shooting myself in the head...

[coeydawn]

i have an eight year old with the same exact problem. he bite me so hard last night, he left a bruise. he is abusive and doesnt care about anything. i too am at wits end. His dad as mood disorders, therefore, i do believe it has carried on to him. i have tried everything in the book for years and i have ran out of ideas. I am now ready to take him to be evaluated because i can not do it alone any longer.

[vixen68]

I would seek help from your family doctor and ask him to refer you to your paedritican so that he can check your son. I agree with the above poster that your sons personality would have been inherited ti a large extent from his genes.  However, you and your husband need help in dealing with his personality and I would suggest that you speak to your Social Worker to try and get this in place.  In the meantime try and read the My Defiant Child, this will give your some strategies to use in the meantime.  But the rule of thumb is if the behaviour is getting worse and your behaviour towards your son is getting worse then it is time for help.  There is a condition called Oppositional Defiance Disorder, you might want to have a look at that as there is a wealth of information there.
Good luck, I wish you the best.

[jdtm]

we adopted our kids .. he was two  and yes a very hard life at such a young age. but thought with love and support he would be fine.  --  your words

If only love could conquer all...   Unfortunately, genetics plays a huge role in a child's beliefs, values, attitide and personality; environment does play a role but, I believe, far, far less than people would like to think.  Our DIL was adopted and raised by a wonderful family from birth; however, she never "fit".  A couple of years ago, she re-connected with her birth mother and it is unbelievable how similar these two women are - and they were not in contact for several decades!  By the way, our DIL suffers from several mental health issues as does her birth mother.

I suspect this is the issue with your son - probably he has inherited one or more mental health issues from one or both of his biological parents - as a mood disorder, a conduct disorder and/or a personality disorder.  This is not your fault nor something that you can change; it is part of whom your son was at birth.  I might suggest you contact your son's medical doctor and ask for a referral to a mental health specialist with experience in working with children.  There is a wealth of knowledge and help out there; and I do know that the sooner the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  You would not be expected to "cure" your son if he suffered from a serious physical illness; thus, no one would expect you to "cure" your son if he suffers from a mental health issue.  Please contact your family doctor as soon as possible - it is the first step (even if your son does not suffer from any mental health issues).  I wish you the best ....