I'm so anxious.
I finally got to see a gynecologist for the first time two days ago to see what was going on with my vagina. I explained to the nurse that it felt like my cervix dropped into my vagina back in September and it hasn't been the same since, so they decided to have a look with a speculum (I wasn't due for a pap smear until next year however)
The gyno tried to fit the speculum inside but it just wouldn't budge. It felt very uncomfortable, Kinda painful even. I don't think more than a 1/4th was about to fit inside. They then switched to using fingers and from there she realized that something was blocking the entrance inside to my vagina. She kept nudging until she managed to fit a finger in, however it didn't felt right. It felt exactly like when I stuck a finger in it 2 months before, where I thought I was sticking a finger into my cervix.
She then called it and was like "Oh that's just Your hymen"
I'm sorry.. But since when hymens are about an inch INSIDE your vagina-?
It didn't made any sense. It didn't explain why my vagina feels full. It didn't explain why prior to this incident where I COULD stick a finger inside me but now I can't suddenly. It didn't explain why when I go to examine my own self it looks like there's a circular bulb with a slit inside it instead of a hole.
But she was like "it looks normal you're all good" it doesn't feel normal. At all.
I am a virgin, so there is a chance my hymen is intact. But inside me???
I blame myself partly. Because during this examination, I was kept stuttering and had trouble articulating what was going on with me because I was nervous, so I feel like because of that it made her not take me seriously.
The examination ended at that. she told me that sex might be painful and thats that. I just feel lost.
I know something is wrong with me. I wouldn't be feeling any of these weird symptoms if anything wasn't wrong with me. I haven't checked my vagina since that visit because I'm just afraid. I feel like I just screwed up because if this is stage 1 prolapse, then it can only get worse from here and I can't even see a gyno until next year (not January either.)
I don't know what to do. I'm on edge of an anxiety attack whenever I think about it because I'm just scared. I been researching on what a vagina is supposed to look like inside and none of them shows what mines currently looks like. I'm just so worried and I have no one to go to about this because its such a personal medical issue. I wish I could see another doctor that could properly check me and actually see what is going on.
I wish I could go back in time and worded myself more better so that she would understand what I was trying to say. I don't believe that this is a hymen whatsoever. It just doesn't make sense anatomically. She did try to draw me a diagram but it didn't explain anything. I wish this had never happened to me back in September.
I wish I didn't had to worry about this. Now I'm just incredibly anxious where I can do nothing about it but wait. Wait at least 6 months before I can even think about seeing one again. But what if it gets worse by then? I'm scared.