8 weeks and miscarried!

[nina2249]

How do you get over such a loss. One minute they see a heart beat and three days later they don't. This has been the worst holiday season ever. I'm 8 days past a D&C my emotions are a wreck, depression has kicked in ,isolation has has kicked in, when does it lift and the happiness kick back in. I feel empty and lost with no purpose. Wow " I have never felt this way ever in my 38 yrs. So are there any of you that have gone through this an felt the same way. Cause i seriously feel like running. But we all know it will take you know were. And to boot there were known reasons why I miscarried .

[candypay]

Im so sorry for you loss. I can only say after time. the tears will come less and less and you will be able to laugh again. My husband and I lost our second child at 37 weeks in July. He had a true knot in his umbilical cord.  He was perfect otherwise I had the perfect pregnancy. It was a terrible shock that something like this could happen. I was mad at everyone and everything.  I have now come to believe that there has to be a plan for everything that happens and I will one day see my precious Wyatt again.   We are pregnant again and I am hopeful that this baby will be able to come home from the hospital with us.  Be gentle with yourself and let yourself have time to grieve. Hugs

[nina2249]

Thanks for the encouragement.Yes your right about people not knowing how you feel unless you've been there. That's why I come here. I feel better talking to people that are in my shoes or have experienced it. But I do pray every day .God bless you and anyone else that has been here.

[Prayerful2528]

I experiece the same thing, and can relate to how stressful it can be.  In Feb of 08, I  had a m/c, and then I became pregn again in Oct of 08. I was excited, and just knew this time I would carry full term.   I was 8wks pregn when I went to the doctor on that Friday. The doctor did an U/S, and everything was looking good.  Early saturday morning I started bleeding. I went to the ER, and was told there was no heartbeat. I just burst out and start crying. After the nurse gave me a big hug, and told me how so sorry she was.   She stated that I could either go ahead and schedule the D&C. Or I could wait to see my doctor on Monday.  Still believing that there was hope I waited to see my doctor on Monday.  Everything was still visiable, but no heartbeat.  He told me to go home, and we both was going to keep our fingers cross.  Later that night I felt heavy pressure at the bottom of my stomach, and as soon I went to the bathroom to check things out this very large clot fell on the floor (I knew it was the baby).   I was devastated wondering how could this be happing again.  I was very depressed, and so disappointed. However,  I end up having a D&C on Nov 07  trying to speed the healing process up.  The only things that helped me through that m/c was prayer, close family members,  and my friends on medhelp.  I found that if a person haven't been through what you are going through they really just don't understand.  So I will say to you,  continue to pray and know that all things work together for the good of them who love the Lord.  It may not always feel, or even seem good.  But those of us who love, and trust our Lord and Savior know it is for our good.   As of today,  my hubby and I are trying to conceive. We will continue to try until we carry a healthy baby to full term... It does get better just keep prayer.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Sending hugs your way

Yolanda

[nina2249]

Thank you all for your kind words I appreciate the fact I have a place to come and talk to other women of similar situations. I hope everyone is doing well. And god bless you all .

                                                                Thank You
                                                                    nina

[VASusan]

Nina,
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your little one. I've been there too. We lost our daughter in November at 8 months gestation and I've cried almost every day since then. It's very hard.

I believe that babies are taken into heaven and are with the Lord when they die and that a miscarried baby or a stillborn baby has a soul just like we do. The Bible teaches that all God's redeemed will remain in heaven until the day when the Lord returns. He will give His people a new resurrected body that will live eternally in the new heavens and the new earth. On that day their souls will be reunited with their glorified resurrected bodies, bodies that will never die. I've drawn much comfort from the Bible and cling to the hope that I'll see our daughter again in heaven. I thank the Lord every day that my baby is safe with Him in heaven. She is my one child I don't need to worry about. Even so, it still hurts a lot.  

Here are some verses that have helped me:
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

The following passage is about King David whose baby died. He had hopes of seeing his child again.

2 Samuel 12:22 He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ 23 But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Jesus says that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the little children.

Matthew 18:1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3 and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven...

Matthew 18:10 See that you don't despise one of these little ones, for I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man came to save that which was lost.

Matthew 19:13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.

May the Lord bind up your broken heart.
~Susan

[Savanha]

Nina...

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you will find your way...it is a personal journey & I pray for your heart to be healed.

Savanha

[LuvAbaby]

I am sorry to hear what you are dealing with. You are in my prayers.

[anxi]

Ohh Nina I am so sorry.  Everyone here feels so sad for you and those of us who have experianced similar losses relive them each time we learn another one of us is grieving.I don't have many helpful words except that  LisaRG's words are so true.  People will try to rush you and sometimes in a hurtful way.  They just don't understand the depth of our pain.  Also try to find something therapeutic,  you  don't have to see a therapist for this if you don't feel ready to do so.  I don't know about the spa thing although that sounds lovely.  My therapy is going to my daughter's graveside and reading to her.  So far we have gotten through 5 of the Narnia chronicles and Dickens' Christmas Carol.  After I miscarried last month I just imagine them being together. Please don't think you are bothering anyone if you feel the need to talk, cry yell, whatever.  Friends are meant to be there during good times and bad.  The Isolation is the worst  and can spiral out of control.   If you feel like you need someone to talk to know that I am here for you.  

[kmgr32]

I, too am so sorry for your loss.  As everyone else has said already time will heal and help you move on but unfortunately sometimes time passes so slowly.  I do hope that you find help and comfort either through a therapist, your DH or a supportive friend.  It is so hard to go through something like this alone.  This is the time to lean on those who love you. Your in my thoughts.
Kara

[smr08]

Nina, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was almost 5 months when I lost my son. Your going to go through alot of different emotions right now, and as Amanda said there is no shame in seeking help. Time helps but it doesn't take the pain away completely you just learn how to take control of it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that in time you will find peace and strength. If you ever need to talk, vent or cry you can send me a message.

                                 Lori

[LisaRG]

Hi,
Please find comfort in knowing you are not alone.  Most of us on this forum know exactly how you are feeling and we all want to hold you in our arms.
The most difficult part you may find is how cold and impersonal people who are trying to lift your spirits may be.  They want us all to rush through our grief.  
Take it one day at a time.  Each feeling needs to be treated and healed properly.
If you feel the need to " Run", then run to a retreat/spa.  Believe me it can be a therapeutic healing place to be.  You need to heal your mind and your body with strength and love and peace.
The pain eases up with time and so does the anger.  You will find your brighter side in time and perhaps you will even try again.
Lisa

[nina2249]

Thanks for you humble words of wisdom and kindness. I know I'll get through this eventually . I have never felt such a loss like this before. My Dr told me to wait one full cycle and I can try again. I feel like everything is in slow motion on the healing process. lol. My hormones are playing games with my emotions big time. Once the hormones level out I'm sure I'll feel some what ok. But like we say on here there's always next time. Thanks for everyones kindness.

[kikicoates78]

OH Nina, I'm so sorry, I know there are no words that can heal the pain, I too have suffered a M/C and do know how you feel, ours came after trying for 4 long years just to have it ripped away, the only thing I can offer is that time does heal :( I know it's not easy, what helped me get through was to know I had two little boys already that loved me and needed me. It took along time, and I still cried on my due date, and 1 yr mark, but I did get a little light at the end and got pregnant with my Addy, she has helped the pain tremendously, just hang in there honey, I pray that God give you the strength to get through this sad time. Remember time will help. ((HUGS))  

[PamelaBee]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this.  I haven't seen any of your posts since you got your BFP, I just assumed all was going well.  I really am sorry for your loss and hope and pray that you will find the strength to heal soon.  Many thoughts and prayers to you.  Pam

[adgal]

Oh honey, I am so so so sorry.  I understand how you feel.  After my last loss I went into a pretty severe depression...I didn't even want to get out of bed.  I went to see a counsellor for a bit, and it really helped me sort through my feelings, and feel like going on.  Yep, it got that bad for a bit.  Remember its partly hormonal, and also, give yourself permission to grieve.  So many around us don't understand how strong that sense of loss can be for we that experience it, and we wind up feeling like we need to keep it in.  Believe it or not, it does get better.  I won't tell you it ever completely goes away, because for me it hasn't, but it does get better.  And please Nina, if you are feeling that depressed and lost, get help.  There is no shame in seeking help from a therapist, and I can't tell you how much it helped me.  I am not on as much as I would like these days, but please PM me if you need someone to talk to.  I really care.  Hang in there and take really good care of yourself.  Be selfish and do what you need to for yourself.  Sending you a bit hug.  Amanda