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Advice and encouragement
I am new here and wanted to share my story and ask some advice. I am 47, for the last 15 years I have been looking after my father who suffered several strokes. He died this past May. I had a long time to deal with his passing and I am coping well with what happened. I wanted to get married and have children like most women, but with things being what they were, I just never had a chance. Now, I am free to start a new life, I can do whatever I want and go wherever I want, but all I can think of is how I missed out on being a mum. I want to have a child very badly. Perhaps because of the way things were, I never really let myself think about it because felt I would just fall apart if I started to think about children. I know I will be an exceptional mother, I am highly intelligent, caring, have my own home and a loving extended family, okay, sperm is missing but I'll find some kind soul who will want to help me. I want to really try to have a baby.
Anyway, that's the background, here is my physical obstacles. I am some 40 kilos overweight, but it will be gone in four months, see the gym trainer tomorrow. I have high blood pressure and slightly enlarged heart (normal range), but I've been told that both are because of the pressure I have put on my body from my weight and the one time I lost 15 kilos, the hbp dropped, I almost came of meds. I am on hbp meds but I know that in four months with the weight gone, so will the meds be gone. I also went on antidepressants after dad died because I became anxious and depressed. I was quite lost for three months, after 15 years of dad being my life, I didn't know what to do or how to feel, it freaked me out, but I am fine now, so I think that I will be off those in the next three months. I'm also seeing a great naturopath-doctor, my energy levels are up, I'm feeling strong and happy.
So, someone tell me, am I nuts to want to have a baby at 47? I could be taking it easy, travel, go to classes, but I don't know those seem empty compared to being a mum. I helped raise my sister's two children, I know what's involved and how hard it is, but I really think I am up to it and even if I wasn't 100% up for it, I don't think I am up for never being a mum and living a lonely life...lol, the local old crazy cat woman.
In August, I'm going to travel overseas, where I will go for IVF, and as far as anyone need know when I get back, I got strong genes and had a wild time...oops! I can feel it in my bones, I am doing the right thing, but God, I'd love to hear someone say it, its a life changing experience, scared to death.
Anyway, that's the background, here is my physical obstacles. I am some 40 kilos overweight, but it will be gone in four months, see the gym trainer tomorrow. I have high blood pressure and slightly enlarged heart (normal range), but I've been told that both are because of the pressure I have put on my body from my weight and the one time I lost 15 kilos, the hbp dropped, I almost came of meds. I am on hbp meds but I know that in four months with the weight gone, so will the meds be gone. I also went on antidepressants after dad died because I became anxious and depressed. I was quite lost for three months, after 15 years of dad being my life, I didn't know what to do or how to feel, it freaked me out, but I am fine now, so I think that I will be off those in the next three months. I'm also seeing a great naturopath-doctor, my energy levels are up, I'm feeling strong and happy.
So, someone tell me, am I nuts to want to have a baby at 47? I could be taking it easy, travel, go to classes, but I don't know those seem empty compared to being a mum. I helped raise my sister's two children, I know what's involved and how hard it is, but I really think I am up to it and even if I wasn't 100% up for it, I don't think I am up for never being a mum and living a lonely life...lol, the local old crazy cat woman.
In August, I'm going to travel overseas, where I will go for IVF, and as far as anyone need know when I get back, I got strong genes and had a wild time...oops! I can feel it in my bones, I am doing the right thing, but God, I'd love to hear someone say it, its a life changing experience, scared to death.
I just wanted to say good luck and wish you all the best. 47 is not too old to become a mother. We all have been young and thought we were so mature and new everything, but as we get older and wiser we look back and see how we weren't as smart as we thought we were. I think the wisdom we gain throught the years help make us better as parents, and I am saying this as someone who had a child at 19 and is now trying for #2 at age 37. I hope everything works out for you!!!
OMG! The specialist in Greece replied to my email. He thinks he can help me and wants to know more about my situation! I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I keep telling myself I've got six months till the point of no return. It's like I got two brains in my head at the moment, one part is going, don't do this, enjoy the peace and no responsibility, watch anything you want, no care in the world, no more having to take care of anyone, I'm just clucky, hormonal. Then there is another brain that is going, omg, I'm going to be a mummy, I'm going to be a mummy. And I know this is crazy, but I have had, for the longest time this intuition, a feeling that I am meant to have children...that's where my username comes from, Adam, Thomas and Anastasia are the names I have chosen for years now. I don't intend on having triplets!, one will do, but those are the names I have picked out.
I must be crazy, maybe I am having some kind of hormonal thing, the body is getting close to its reproductive end and its throwing out, have babies messages. EEEeeekkk! Breath, breath, everything is okay. lol.
I must be crazy, maybe I am having some kind of hormonal thing, the body is getting close to its reproductive end and its throwing out, have babies messages. EEEeeekkk! Breath, breath, everything is okay. lol.
Hi, off to the gym, ;- P... things we do! But wanted to stop by and thank everyone for their kind support. It really does look like a supportive site. Glad to be here. ()()()
Thank you. You know, it is all about opinion, and certainly everyone is entitled to theirs. I guess I just feel strongly that there is no real or wrong time to have a baby.
When I was in my 20's i would not have been a good mom. As i said, lot's are, I just would not have been. I also did not meet the man I married until my mid 30's. I wanted to make sure that the person I chose to have children with was the right person. I just did not have the level of maturity required to make a decision like that or to be a patient and dedicated mom when I was young. In the original posters comments, she states that she was caring for her sick parents. So for her it also was not the right time until now.
I have seen children that were neglected and abused from mothers of every age. I have also seen the flip side..children that were nurtured, loved and cherished from mothers of all age. In my mind it is far more selfish to have a child you are not prepared for at any age. There are always negatives to be found...but all we can do is the best we can do and love those babies. There is no age limit on that.
This debate has come up in this forum before, and no doubt it will again. Open and honest dialogue is important and part of what this forum is about. However, its important that we keep it respectful, and to remember that unless we are walking in some one's shoes we can never truly know the whole big picture. We have to make the choices best for us and most importantly best for those lives we are bringing into the world.
When I was in my 20's i would not have been a good mom. As i said, lot's are, I just would not have been. I also did not meet the man I married until my mid 30's. I wanted to make sure that the person I chose to have children with was the right person. I just did not have the level of maturity required to make a decision like that or to be a patient and dedicated mom when I was young. In the original posters comments, she states that she was caring for her sick parents. So for her it also was not the right time until now.
I have seen children that were neglected and abused from mothers of every age. I have also seen the flip side..children that were nurtured, loved and cherished from mothers of all age. In my mind it is far more selfish to have a child you are not prepared for at any age. There are always negatives to be found...but all we can do is the best we can do and love those babies. There is no age limit on that.
This debate has come up in this forum before, and no doubt it will again. Open and honest dialogue is important and part of what this forum is about. However, its important that we keep it respectful, and to remember that unless we are walking in some one's shoes we can never truly know the whole big picture. We have to make the choices best for us and most importantly best for those lives we are bringing into the world.
Adgal, very well put! No disrepect to ProudMumtoBe. However, when I read the reply I was a little offended. We have no right to be so critical to anyone here. We are all here for the same thing regardless to our age or anything else. AdamTA. I wish you all the blessings in the world in your quest I'm sure you will be a GREAT mother!
Oh and btw...most of our regular members you will find to be very very supportive. There are so many of us here who have had our share of ups and downs in our quest to have a baby. I myself have had some tough times, but received an incredible amount of support. I honestly credit this board and the women here in keeping me positive and in helping me not give up. It wasn't easy, but I am so grateful. I am about to celebrate my son's first birthday, and I couldn't have done it without these ladies. So I hope you are not chased away by one posters negative reaction. Stick around!! Amanda
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