Aa
I might be wrong and if I am....God forgive me!
I have two sons from a previous relationship, and my husband has a daughter from his previous marriage that lives in Kentucky (we're in GA). Dont get me wrong we love our little blended family but its some things I need for him to understand:
My boys are gone with their dad for the summer (thank God) and Chancellor is only 3wks old. I havent slept since I was 7months pregnant and sh*t I'm tired. I know that my husband wants his daughter to see her little brother and he keeps saying "I might as well go pick her up this weekend so she can come visit for a few weeks". I looked at him and said you must be taking another vacation. How in the hell does this man expect me to take care of both of his children (especially when mine are gone) and he's on the road from Sun-Thur driving?
I hate to sound selfish but I'm not in the mood. How can I break it to him that now is just not a good time for her to come, and truth be told I dont know when it will be a good time. School starts in 1month here and with my tubal coming up I'm trying to stall until the last minute even having my two come back.
I know that makes me wrong huh...and he's probably talking bad about me behind my back but I dont care I'm thinking about myself for a change b/c if I dont who will?
Am I wrong yall?
My boys are gone with their dad for the summer (thank God) and Chancellor is only 3wks old. I havent slept since I was 7months pregnant and sh*t I'm tired. I know that my husband wants his daughter to see her little brother and he keeps saying "I might as well go pick her up this weekend so she can come visit for a few weeks". I looked at him and said you must be taking another vacation. How in the hell does this man expect me to take care of both of his children (especially when mine are gone) and he's on the road from Sun-Thur driving?
I hate to sound selfish but I'm not in the mood. How can I break it to him that now is just not a good time for her to come, and truth be told I dont know when it will be a good time. School starts in 1month here and with my tubal coming up I'm trying to stall until the last minute even having my two come back.
I know that makes me wrong huh...and he's probably talking bad about me behind my back but I dont care I'm thinking about myself for a change b/c if I dont who will?
Am I wrong yall?
I don't ever enjoy sending any of my children away to their father's, even for the day or two every couple of months that he asks. When I remarried last year, my new husband had two girls and I gladly became their full time mother. I would never enjoy sending them away for even a night. We are a family, and believe me I get tired and cranky. We have 16 children in all, 10 still living at home between the ages of 12 and 7. So I know exhaustion and crankiness. But I believe that I have responsibilities to these children and that's why I had them. Life isn't usually easy and sometimes I have to take everything moment by moment. But I do want all of the children to feel loved more than anything and not think they are ever a burden on me.
momof16
momof16
I'm nothing if not blunt, and after reading everything you've said about your step daughter and husband, and here is what I would do. Call me selfish but I know better than anyone that you have to take care of yourself FIRST or you won't be good to anyone else.
If this little girl usually gets lots of time with her father, and you get her every summer, as you said, life WILL go on if you postpone her visit until you are a little stronger. I personally would find it inappropriate for my husband to expect me to take care of a 3 week old newborn, THEN go in for another surgery and have to juggle a 6 year old on top of it when he isn't going to be there most of the time.
I would flat out tell my husband N. O. This is your one time with THIS baby, and you need to heal. It's not about being tired. It's not about being selfish. It's about taking care of yourself so you can be the best mom and stepmom that you can be. Guess what is going on with my 4 year old when I have my new baby? Grandparents. Does he need to bond with his new brother or sister? Absolutely. But Mommy needs to heal, Daddy needs to work, and I can't pull at a 4 year old and entertain him after a C-section and a new baby at my age. After he stays with the Grandparents for two weeks, he'll be in Daycare. ALL DAY. He'll be home in the evenings when my husband can help with him.
And you know what? He'll still bond with his new brother, and he'll probably have a richer experience for it because instead of having an exhausted, cranky, sick mother who can't pay him half the attention he needs because she is trying to recover, he'll be getting attention from other family members and when he does spend time with me and the baby, I'll be feeling better and have the help I need so the entire family will be happy.
The same will be true of your step daughter. She'll still get to visit, she'll still get to bond with the baby, and her experience will be richer for it if you are WELL and RESTED so you can make it a great experience for the whole family.
That's just my two cents...which probably isn't worth a plug nickle!
Sheri
If this little girl usually gets lots of time with her father, and you get her every summer, as you said, life WILL go on if you postpone her visit until you are a little stronger. I personally would find it inappropriate for my husband to expect me to take care of a 3 week old newborn, THEN go in for another surgery and have to juggle a 6 year old on top of it when he isn't going to be there most of the time.
I would flat out tell my husband N. O. This is your one time with THIS baby, and you need to heal. It's not about being tired. It's not about being selfish. It's about taking care of yourself so you can be the best mom and stepmom that you can be. Guess what is going on with my 4 year old when I have my new baby? Grandparents. Does he need to bond with his new brother or sister? Absolutely. But Mommy needs to heal, Daddy needs to work, and I can't pull at a 4 year old and entertain him after a C-section and a new baby at my age. After he stays with the Grandparents for two weeks, he'll be in Daycare. ALL DAY. He'll be home in the evenings when my husband can help with him.
And you know what? He'll still bond with his new brother, and he'll probably have a richer experience for it because instead of having an exhausted, cranky, sick mother who can't pay him half the attention he needs because she is trying to recover, he'll be getting attention from other family members and when he does spend time with me and the baby, I'll be feeling better and have the help I need so the entire family will be happy.
The same will be true of your step daughter. She'll still get to visit, she'll still get to bond with the baby, and her experience will be richer for it if you are WELL and RESTED so you can make it a great experience for the whole family.
That's just my two cents...which probably isn't worth a plug nickle!
Sheri
TO EVERYONE:
Thank you to the MOTHERS who've been in my situation and TRULY understand the question and the ramifications of what I was asking....
WE ALWAYS GET HER (even before we were married)....Healing and being tired are two seperate things. I have Endometriosis, so my tubal isnt being done as an out-patient. I have severe scar tissue around my tubes so my precedure is more envasive then a "normal tubal" so I'll be staying over night.
I just got through talking to him about not being able to get her and though he's dissapointed he now understands that b/c our baby is a "miracle baby" (with my Endo it was a blessing I could even conceive again) and all the months of bedrest and medication that we'll do something extra for her a little later.
I asked for opinions on how to tell him how now is not a good time to get her and ended up getting a CLASS on parenting and step parenting. I am a step child, I have a step child I know how you have to handle kids outside of the home with "kid-gloves"! I said I was glad to have a break from my own kids and that's damn well what I meant, and for you (have 2 kids) to try to make it seem like I'm not ready for them to come back you have no clue.
Until I met my husband I was a single parenting doing EVERYTHING alone and if I get 2months off for the summer after 10years of being both Mommy and Daddy then NOBODY will make me feel less sufficient.
I dont mind your opinion, in fact a asked for it, but I didnt ask for the attitude. So I was letting you know that being apart of this forum means giving your opinion with RESPECT so when you post we'll be able to respond back to you with the same affect. I understand what you're saying, the other ladies understand what you're saying; it's just the way you're saying it. If you notice it's more ladies that understand my point then there are ladies that disagree. STOP for a sec...RELAX, CALM DOWN...re-read what I posted to get FULL UNDERSTANDING, and we can make a clean start from here.
THANKS!
Thank you to the MOTHERS who've been in my situation and TRULY understand the question and the ramifications of what I was asking....
WE ALWAYS GET HER (even before we were married)....Healing and being tired are two seperate things. I have Endometriosis, so my tubal isnt being done as an out-patient. I have severe scar tissue around my tubes so my precedure is more envasive then a "normal tubal" so I'll be staying over night.
I just got through talking to him about not being able to get her and though he's dissapointed he now understands that b/c our baby is a "miracle baby" (with my Endo it was a blessing I could even conceive again) and all the months of bedrest and medication that we'll do something extra for her a little later.
I asked for opinions on how to tell him how now is not a good time to get her and ended up getting a CLASS on parenting and step parenting. I am a step child, I have a step child I know how you have to handle kids outside of the home with "kid-gloves"! I said I was glad to have a break from my own kids and that's damn well what I meant, and for you (have 2 kids) to try to make it seem like I'm not ready for them to come back you have no clue.
Until I met my husband I was a single parenting doing EVERYTHING alone and if I get 2months off for the summer after 10years of being both Mommy and Daddy then NOBODY will make me feel less sufficient.
I dont mind your opinion, in fact a asked for it, but I didnt ask for the attitude. So I was letting you know that being apart of this forum means giving your opinion with RESPECT so when you post we'll be able to respond back to you with the same affect. I understand what you're saying, the other ladies understand what you're saying; it's just the way you're saying it. If you notice it's more ladies that understand my point then there are ladies that disagree. STOP for a sec...RELAX, CALM DOWN...re-read what I posted to get FULL UNDERSTANDING, and we can make a clean start from here.
THANKS!
I have to agree with have2kids on this one.
The tubal is not a horrible surgery, by the way. I had one 6 weeks after childbirth. I worked the night before, had the tubal at 9am, was home by noon, had that night off, but went back to work the next night. It was an easy, outpatient procedure. I was achy and bloated belly, but it went away fast.
Yes, it isn't the absolute best time for her to visit. But what if you are still tired when it IS a better time? (I'm still tired and its been 28 years since my last child). When will she come then?
You married a man who already had another child. That child is old enough to feel the sting of rejection (let me assure you she does not understand "now is not a good time" and is old enough to feel unwanted, though that is CLEARLY not your intention. I'm sure she really wants to see the baby, and will certainly feel like no one wants her around no matter how hard he tries to explain that you are tired.
Its not what you mean to communicate to her. I hear that you love her. Its what she will feel, though. Regardless of what is said to her. She will feel unwanted. It will hurt her.
So if you must postpone the visit, get her there as soon as possible, whether you are tired or not. Tired will be a part of your life for years to come.
I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
The tubal is not a horrible surgery, by the way. I had one 6 weeks after childbirth. I worked the night before, had the tubal at 9am, was home by noon, had that night off, but went back to work the next night. It was an easy, outpatient procedure. I was achy and bloated belly, but it went away fast.
Yes, it isn't the absolute best time for her to visit. But what if you are still tired when it IS a better time? (I'm still tired and its been 28 years since my last child). When will she come then?
You married a man who already had another child. That child is old enough to feel the sting of rejection (let me assure you she does not understand "now is not a good time" and is old enough to feel unwanted, though that is CLEARLY not your intention. I'm sure she really wants to see the baby, and will certainly feel like no one wants her around no matter how hard he tries to explain that you are tired.
Its not what you mean to communicate to her. I hear that you love her. Its what she will feel, though. Regardless of what is said to her. She will feel unwanted. It will hurt her.
So if you must postpone the visit, get her there as soon as possible, whether you are tired or not. Tired will be a part of your life for years to come.
I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
me too! (more involved)
have 2 kids, i respect that you disagree with me on this, but i think that saying things like "blowing sunshine up your butt" doesn't really help her see your perspective.
i understand the visit might not happen this time, but i don't see the point of the visit with barely any time with dad, when at this time, stepmom is recovering from childbirth and is planning a surgery. she isn't superwoman, she can't do everything.
have 2 kids, i respect that you disagree with me on this, but i think that saying things like "blowing sunshine up your butt" doesn't really help her see your perspective.
i understand the visit might not happen this time, but i don't see the point of the visit with barely any time with dad, when at this time, stepmom is recovering from childbirth and is planning a surgery. she isn't superwoman, she can't do everything.
I did see that he's gone "most" of the time but if he's always gone most of the time, then some might be better than pushing it out till who knows when? that's what i was thinking, but again mostly just wanted to squeeze in the perspective of the stepchild for whatever it's worth and then that was it. I've been a little more involved in this than I intended! Okay, no more for me:) Thanks for understanding my perspective.
The child only has 1 month before school starts. When would she be able to visit then?
Her visit was already delayed because of complications. Personally I feel family is important and this little girl probably doesn't understand the reason why she can't go to daddy's. When you marry someone with children you take on that responsiblity. If he had full custody she would be there anyway. She asked for opinions and I gave mine. I don't always like everyones advice either but I listen to it and go from there.
Her visit was already delayed because of complications. Personally I feel family is important and this little girl probably doesn't understand the reason why she can't go to daddy's. When you marry someone with children you take on that responsiblity. If he had full custody she would be there anyway. She asked for opinions and I gave mine. I don't always like everyones advice either but I listen to it and go from there.
i agree too, if dad is there no problem. her problem is that it is a problem when she will be the only caretaker and she isn't feeling well. if she's not well, but dad is there, that changes the picture. kwim? there are no hard feelings, i do see your point, but i didn't think you were getting that dad wasn't even there for most of the visit! the way i look at these things they work out one way or another even if it isn't the way one of the individuals involved would prefer. it is what it is, is the way i approach these questions. you can only do what you can do.
alikat, I agree with what you are saying: that it's the dad who should see her. I also think the stepmom needs to help make that happen (but again agree if the dad is out of the country or for whatever reason isn't going to be around for one second to see his daughter, then they need to find another time). Prayerful asked, "How can I break it to him that now is not a good time to see his daughter, and truth be told I don't know when will be a good time." I just wanted to point out that a good time will be when the dad CAN see his daughter, not when the stepmom is feeling better (in my opinion), especially when the dad has so little time to see her anyway from what it sounds. I just wanted to point out the perspecitve that the daughter should be the priority, not the stepmom's exhaustion, etc. EVEN THOUGH I honestly know it can't be easy for her! Anyway, I don't want to argue and I agree with what you have written anyway. I hope it all works out!
allip, i have also been a stepchild, and i know i wanted to spend my visits with my dad, not his "other" family, and i certainly didn't want to be left there without him. take into consideration that in this case, the stepmom can't even meaninfully care for her due to her own recovery, and i don't see the point of the visit, even from the viewpoint of the child.
I don't want any enemies on here and I didn't mean to offend anyone. I remember how exhausted my sister (and all my friends) were in their first months after childbirth; nothing like that exhaustion. If I post a question on this forum (and I have posted many), I always want honest input and opinions. I know of course I don't know your whole story, prayerful, but I only wanted to offer the perspective of your stepdaughter, since I have been a stepdaughter. My opinion doesn't need to take into consideration all of the details of your situation; it only was offered so that you could look at things from the eyes of your husband's little girl - who I happen to think is the most important person to consider. I honestly think - especially from reading the reactions of some others - that it might be really hard to see the perspective of a stepchild unless you've been one yourself. Anyway, that's all I wanted to do: offer that perspective. If you did not appreciative my offering that perspective, I am sorry.
have 2 kids; try to say it nicer, your point isn't coming across when you are so aggressive. if you would note, her husband will not be home during the week at all, not even the nights. i don't she would ordinarily be opposed to having the child over, but not while she is recovering and planning another surgery. i don't think it is fair to the child to plan a visit when she will not see her father, and her caretaker is not sufficiently healed to do much with her.
Excuse me for not blowing sunshine up your butt!!!!!!! As someone "new" I can see how things really look. It's obvious from your post that you don't want your other kids around and especially not his daughter. You are not the only one that ever had to deal with a difficult pregnancy and child. I have a story I could share too. It's no excuse. As a mother you have to step up to the plate and do what needs to be done. Tired or not! Your husband has to work. His daughter has to go to school in one month. Why can't she visit and he can see her at night and on the weekend? It's the same way now with the baby.
valleybabes:
I tried to "CORRECT" her in the most respectful way as possible. She took something totally off key and ran with it. I can see how it may have gotten a little confusing so I didnt mind clearly things up for her. I've been a member of this forum for too long and I know how much I try to be there for other people and respect their views and opinions without stepping on any toes. I fully welcome these TWO new women with open arms and love to hear what they have to say....but they need to know there are some strong personalities here and they're going to have to come with respect or dont come at all! I guess I really took offense to Have 2 Kids and allip68 not really knowing the full situation and flying off the handle about how we treat our kids and etc. It's all good tho...I'm a lover not a fighter! LOL
Thaks lady!
I tried to "CORRECT" her in the most respectful way as possible. She took something totally off key and ran with it. I can see how it may have gotten a little confusing so I didnt mind clearly things up for her. I've been a member of this forum for too long and I know how much I try to be there for other people and respect their views and opinions without stepping on any toes. I fully welcome these TWO new women with open arms and love to hear what they have to say....but they need to know there are some strong personalities here and they're going to have to come with respect or dont come at all! I guess I really took offense to Have 2 Kids and allip68 not really knowing the full situation and flying off the handle about how we treat our kids and etc. It's all good tho...I'm a lover not a fighter! LOL
Thaks lady!
I have had both my neices here for visits numerous times, seriously every week. They come separately and each stay for 3-7 days. We are a very tight extended family. One is 19 and the other is 11. There is a HUGE difference in how tired I am when one of them leaves as opposed to the other. I'll assume you can figure out which one gives me less rest. That being said, when they both walk out the door, I feel good having filled an obligation to family bonding and I just try to catch up on some sleep when she leaves. I totally can imagine how tired you are, when I was 3-6 weeks post, I thought I had been hit by a truck. Some days I wish a truck would hit me....But, in my oh so humble opinion, your heart always tells you what you need to do, so push the brain aside and use tooth picks to prop open those eyes,try your best to smile and follow your heart.
Wow girly...I just don't understand some of these ladies thinking. The few that I see post more frequent are thinking like me. Again... in NO way at all are you being selfish because what you have gone through (tough labor) and soon a tubal. I think you are a super mom here!!!! We as mothers go through so much lord only knows!!! Like you said some of these woman don't know what has gone on with you and I do try to keep up with the posts lately. I may not comment much on so many things, but if I see something that I have went through i am gonna give some input. Its kinda funny how one post seems to stir things up ......all we are here are opinions we take in as much as we want. I do admire you clearing things for the others ....I just have to say that I got a good laugh out of these woman just assuming.
Hugs, Delma
Hugs, Delma
Let me start by saying I know exacly what you are going through. I know alot of ladies on here that will disagree but there is a time and a place for everything, I honestly dont think you want to keep your step daughter from knowing her brother. But being that you just had your son and your hubby doesnt have extra time to spend at home right now I dont hink it should fall on your sholders, besides she wants to see her father too, right?? You need to get your rest and concentrate on YOUR little one. Not to say that you dont love your step daughter because it sounds like you do but taking that kind of reponsablity on right now will make everyone irritable. You not getting enough sleep will more than likely snap at every little thing she does ( trust me I have been ther). And thats not good for her.
Maybe after you have settled into a routine and your hubby can slow down a little and has more time to spend at home, that would probably be a better time for everyone.
Right before I had my first son we found out that my hubby had a 7 year old daughter and after I had my son her mother desided to drop her off with me for a whle month, knowing that my hubby is a work a holic and I just had a baby 2 weeks before. I love her to death but everything she did got on my nerves!! Nothing was ever good enough either. I was at my wits end due to lack of sleep and taking on extra reponsablity for a first time mother. I called and asked her mom to come and get her earlier cause I had had it. And she didnt get to spend any time with her dad cause he worked such long and odd hours. When her mom came and got her she had the nerve to ask for $200 for school clothes!!! That woman got over $700 a month in child support a month and sent her daughter to us in hand me down thinking I would take pitty and buy her clothes!! Thats what the support is for!! I spent alot of oney on her during the time I had her. Heck that $700 she got was more than my rent at the time!! I dont understand how she could sit on her *** and live off her daughters money instead of going out and getting a job!! OK im making myself mad again, lol.
The point is that my step daughter is a good girl and I love her to death but it would have been a lot nicer and more respectful of her mother to do it after I got settled into the mother role. I also regretted alot of my behavior towards her. And haing her visite a few months later was so much better for me and my hubby:)
Best of luck and I hope you get some rest!!
HUGS*
Maybe after you have settled into a routine and your hubby can slow down a little and has more time to spend at home, that would probably be a better time for everyone.
Right before I had my first son we found out that my hubby had a 7 year old daughter and after I had my son her mother desided to drop her off with me for a whle month, knowing that my hubby is a work a holic and I just had a baby 2 weeks before. I love her to death but everything she did got on my nerves!! Nothing was ever good enough either. I was at my wits end due to lack of sleep and taking on extra reponsablity for a first time mother. I called and asked her mom to come and get her earlier cause I had had it. And she didnt get to spend any time with her dad cause he worked such long and odd hours. When her mom came and got her she had the nerve to ask for $200 for school clothes!!! That woman got over $700 a month in child support a month and sent her daughter to us in hand me down thinking I would take pitty and buy her clothes!! Thats what the support is for!! I spent alot of oney on her during the time I had her. Heck that $700 she got was more than my rent at the time!! I dont understand how she could sit on her *** and live off her daughters money instead of going out and getting a job!! OK im making myself mad again, lol.
The point is that my step daughter is a good girl and I love her to death but it would have been a lot nicer and more respectful of her mother to do it after I got settled into the mother role. I also regretted alot of my behavior towards her. And haing her visite a few months later was so much better for me and my hubby:)
Best of luck and I hope you get some rest!!
HUGS*
Girlblink182: I know where you're coing from. Though my situation isnt that bad you have to have peace in your own home so by welcoming her and still making her feel apart of the family is the best thing you can do.
heartflutters:
Thanks...I asked for opinions and ended up defending my parenting and defending my husband about the time he spends with his child. I was looking for a way to tell him (easily) that this isnt the best time for her to come and now I'm explaining how we run our house. I hate that the young lady's dad didnt spend the proper amount of time with her and her sister growing up, but dont pass that off as being my issue b/c its not. I'm a new parent (all over again) needing a break that's all. My God! And I do plan on getting some much needed REST!
heartflutters:
Thanks...I asked for opinions and ended up defending my parenting and defending my husband about the time he spends with his child. I was looking for a way to tell him (easily) that this isnt the best time for her to come and now I'm explaining how we run our house. I hate that the young lady's dad didnt spend the proper amount of time with her and her sister growing up, but dont pass that off as being my issue b/c its not. I'm a new parent (all over again) needing a break that's all. My God! And I do plan on getting some much needed REST!
I don't think you are wrong at all. There will plenty of time for the kids to get to know their new baby brother, and this early on, they really won't enjoy him anyway.
i dont live in your shoes, only you know whats best for you and your family , i live by dont throw stones until you can live the perfect life and i know i will never only one did that his name is GOD. bless you and i hope you get rest.
I completely understand where you are coming from on this one. I am currently 7 months pg with my third (I have a son and daughter from my first marriage) and (hubby has a daughter from his first marriage). My kids are 11 and 12, and his is 15 now. We used to have his daughter every weekend and holiday until she decided to misbehave extremely badly at our house. She has not been back in almost 2 years now.
We finally told her a few days ago that we were expecting in a couple months and her reaction is that as soon as the baby is born she wants to be here as often as possible to "help" me take care of the baby. And she has even gone so far as to tell me that even though her mother does not like me and is angry with her father, she wants me to let her have him for a weekend sometime....ummm, no way in H ** L is that going to happen.
I try not to judge people, but the girl and her mom have been angry, bitter, manipulative and mean spirited since the day I met my current hubby....and we have done nothing to them, welcoming his daughter into our home with open arms, trying to keep the lines of communication open at all times.
I can honestly say that I will let the daughter visit here, but I have no trust left in her, and there is now way I will be leaving my child alone with her, or her mom. I have told my hubby that she is still welcome here and always will be, but she will not be babysitting or "helping" me in any way at all....I do not need the added stress of having to watch out for what she may do to my baby.
ugh...sorry for the long post :(
We finally told her a few days ago that we were expecting in a couple months and her reaction is that as soon as the baby is born she wants to be here as often as possible to "help" me take care of the baby. And she has even gone so far as to tell me that even though her mother does not like me and is angry with her father, she wants me to let her have him for a weekend sometime....ummm, no way in H ** L is that going to happen.
I try not to judge people, but the girl and her mom have been angry, bitter, manipulative and mean spirited since the day I met my current hubby....and we have done nothing to them, welcoming his daughter into our home with open arms, trying to keep the lines of communication open at all times.
I can honestly say that I will let the daughter visit here, but I have no trust left in her, and there is now way I will be leaving my child alone with her, or her mom. I have told my hubby that she is still welcome here and always will be, but she will not be babysitting or "helping" me in any way at all....I do not need the added stress of having to watch out for what she may do to my baby.
ugh...sorry for the long post :(
allip68:
I think you are a bit confused as well....so let me start over. We get my step daughter every holiday & every summer. This is the one summer b/c of the complications I had with the pregnancy & the birth of the baby that we didnt get her. So before you guys jump to conclusions feel free to ask questions. She is far from neglected and knows her daddy VERY well. He's extra excited about her coming this summer b/c he wants her to meet the baby. Im reluctant to have her come b/c he's not going to be here to help. He took his vacation when I delivered so of course he cant take another one. I'm about to have my tubal thats why my kids arent here and frankly I NEED a break and dont feel bad about needing one. I'm a damn good parent and step parent and realize that gifts arent spending time, but b/c I was a single parent I send her things she need b/c I KNOW that childsupport doesnt cover everything (which by-the-way we pay on time). So with that being said there's no need for you to feel sorry for a child with two active parents, two active step parents and family who's always there for her. And if I am tired b/c I just gave birth 3WEEKS AGO and had a rough pregnancy then I dont mind saying NO so I can get some rest. OK?
I think you are a bit confused as well....so let me start over. We get my step daughter every holiday & every summer. This is the one summer b/c of the complications I had with the pregnancy & the birth of the baby that we didnt get her. So before you guys jump to conclusions feel free to ask questions. She is far from neglected and knows her daddy VERY well. He's extra excited about her coming this summer b/c he wants her to meet the baby. Im reluctant to have her come b/c he's not going to be here to help. He took his vacation when I delivered so of course he cant take another one. I'm about to have my tubal thats why my kids arent here and frankly I NEED a break and dont feel bad about needing one. I'm a damn good parent and step parent and realize that gifts arent spending time, but b/c I was a single parent I send her things she need b/c I KNOW that childsupport doesnt cover everything (which by-the-way we pay on time). So with that being said there's no need for you to feel sorry for a child with two active parents, two active step parents and family who's always there for her. And if I am tired b/c I just gave birth 3WEEKS AGO and had a rough pregnancy then I dont mind saying NO so I can get some rest. OK?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy 35 and Older Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
