Conflicted about where to have my baby sleep when she is born

[Hopefulcb]

Hi everyone
I had my prenatal class on the weekend and here in Canada they are recommending that your baby sleeps in the crib in your room for 6 months. They say the research has shown that this is the best way to avoid SIDS.  We don't really have lots of room in our room for a crib, so I asked if we could use a bassinet or something similar. They said it's not really recommended, but if we have to then to go with something similar to a crib - firm mattress, good air flow and breathability on all sides (ie:mesh) and tight sheet. It's really hard to find something like this as they are not regulated here and most stores only have one or two models.  The other issue is her room is right next to ours, so would it be ok to have her sleep in this beautiful safe crib we bought with a monitor on all the time? I really think the crib would be the safest place for her since we got such a high quality one with firm mattress etc.  Plus, I think it would be hard to have her in our room for 6 months - will she adjust to her room afterwards?? Also, what about during the day? They said she could have naps in her room in her own crib with a monitor - so I guess I don't really understand the difference between doing this at night or during the day?? What does everyone think and what have you all done with your babies. I really want to do the right thing for my little girl and this is all starting to stress me out!!!!

[Hopefulcb]

Update: I was at the baby show on the weekend and got to speak with Ann Douglas (she writes pregnancy and baby books one of which I'm reading right now!). She said that bassinets and cradles are regulated in Canada now so you can pretty much go with anything - just make sure it's breathable and firm mattress. I also talked with someone at safe sleep Canada and she recommended a cradle that can lock while baby is sleeping because they tend to be able to use them a bit longer than a bassinet which they can outgrow more quickly. She also  confirmed that they are all regulated here. So, thanks again for all your advice - im definitely going shopping this weekend! I'd rather have a cradle or bassinet even if I just use it for a short while. I worry a lot so I think it will be added peace of mind!

[Hopefulcb]

Thank you so much ladies. Your words of advice are so reassuring! It's so scary to be a new mom and wanting to do everything right to protect your little one. I always think too that if I didn't follow the recommendations and something happened I would never forgive myself, but truly we all have to make the decision that is right for us and make peace with it otherwise I 'll drive myself crazy with worry. You're absolutely right Agdal - I have to remember that SIDS is rare and I'm following all the other recommendations and I will buy a bassinet so I can try it and see how it goes. That would be great if you can tell me which one you got as I'm having a hard time finding one. Perhaps I'll check the babiesrus again in person and see what they have. Thanks So much everyone for giving me such great advice!!!

[JourneyJoJo]

We did the same-- bassinet in the bedroom as well as the cheap, portable co-sleeper that I used when I napped with him during the day.  So much easier when breast feeding. I believe they recommend that if the baby is NOT going to sleep in your room, then switch the baby monitor around so that the baby hears your breathing and snoring sounds during sleep and apparently it helps.  Also, you can buy the Angel Care monitor which is expensive but it monitors the baby's heartbeat and alerts you if the baby stops breathing.  Personally, once Hunter was born, I didn't want him that far from me.  I probably would have ended up sleeping on the floor in his room to make sure he was ok.  Never mind the 3 hour feeds.  Oh, actually, come to think of it, we spent about the first 6 weeks sleeping on the couch with pillows propped up all around me and the baby, sometimes in the sling.  The professionals will tell you not to do it, but ask around and lots of women do (it's a dirty little secret).  You simply won't know until you get there, then you'll do what's best for you and your family.

[mum2beagain]

My babies were in a cradle next to me for the first 3 months then moved to their own room. My friend had her baby in her room for two nights and couldn't sleep! They moved baby to his own room across the hall and everyone did fine! You have to do what you are comfortable with. Bassinets have to pass safety standards to be marketed in Canada, as long as you follow the same rule as cribs ie no blankets pillows etc. Thousands of babies spend their first few months in a bassinet.

[Heather5]

I have a very similar story. We went out and got the bassinet the day before I was scheduled to get induced, and I'm so glad I did! Just like adgal mentioned, it's so much more convenient when breastfeeding, and the best thing was, I could sneak a peek anytime I needed to make sure she was OK. Another big advantage is that if the baby doesn't fall back asleep right away after a feeding, you can simply rock the bassinet or gently talk (or sing) to the baby without having to get back out of bed (I had the bassinet right next to my bed). You're so sleep deprived in the first few weeks, so that was a big plus for me! Good luck with your decision!

[adgal]

I honestly don't know the name of it, but it was dark brown (didn't rock) and underneath had storage for things like extra diapers, etc.  Super handy for those middle of the night changes.  The one I used more often was blue, came in a box and folds up as a travel basinette.  It attaches right to the middle of the bed.  It has a small light over babies head.  The sides are just high enough that there is no way an infant is rolling out of it and has mesh sides.  There would also be no way for you to roll into it and onto the baby.  Again, can't remember the name (sorry), but I can check both (they are now stored in the garage, so easy to do) and get back to you for sure.  

And I think you are so right.  It is all about when you are in the situation.  I had a pretty good idea exactly how I wanted to do things and handle things....then he was actually born..lol.  It all went out the window!  

Try not to stress about the small details.  No matter what you decide, this will be the most incredible experience of your life.  If you worry about SIDS (I obsessed about it), the best site I found was the SIDS Foundation website.  Don't read the stories, just go to the guidelines.  I followed them and it gave me unbelievable peace of mind.  Then, remember that SIDS is super rare.   Very very rare.  

[Hopefulcb]

Thanks so much for your response. I can totally see that! I'm thinking maybe we get a bassinet for our room then see how it goes. I also think you prob get a better idea once you're in the actual situation and see how you feel. What bassinet did you get if you don't mind me asking??

[adgal]

I went through the same set of questions/emotions you are.  We had decided that the baby would in fact sleep in his own room, monitor on.  The day I was released from hospital (Ryder stayed in a few extra days) we took one look at him, and headed straight for the store to buy a basinette.  Lol, there was no way we could even imagine having him away from me.  I suspect you might feel the same way at birth, hard as it is to imagine right now.

I am glad we did it.  He slept well in the basinette next to me (well, as well as a newborn does..lol).  and I can tell you , had we not done that I think I probably would have been in his room every 30 seconds to check on him.  It was also great for nursing in the middle of the night.

We moved him into his own room at 7 months or so if I remember correctly.  That transition was easy...the problem came later when we started the habit of letting him sleep with us (around a year), then tried to move him (I couldn't co sleep when he was an infant...I was way to scared).

I bought both a really great basinette and a co sleeper bed (small basinette that attaches to the middle of your bed..best money I ever spent) at Babies r' Us.   I recommend the co sleeping bed above just the plain basinette as it did have the mesh sides, and kept him close without danger of being rolled on or smothered.  It was great!  It's actually my standard shower gift now.  It's only about $65.00 give or take.