Reality of pregnancy in forties?

[Earlyforties]

Not sure if that was the right topic to choose from but here is my question:
I am already forty years old and have two older kids...long story short my new partner is wanting to have a child with me. I have been warned by two Dr.'s already that the risks are higher now because of my age. 1-40 that i will have some problems with the pregnancy. I am afraid of getting into this now but I had said I agreed to try. Now I am getting afraid again at the thought of something going wrong with the baby...the pregnancy or me. I am not sure if I am emotionally strong enough to go through that as my Dr. explained some of the risks to me and the outcomes.
I guess what i am asking is for some more feed back from others regarding this. Either positive or negative.
Thank you....

[emma41]

Hi, I'm Emma. I'm 41 and just discovered im 5w3d with my first pregnancy after years of trying.  We had given up. .. stopped clomid and then tamoxifen as they didn't work. .. that was a year ago.  So this is a nice surprise but I am very scared about abnormalities at my age. Im quite fit and well.  No major issues. I take thyroxine which is well controlled and have haemochromatosis which is a genetic thing where I don't absorb iron as I should do...so a little worried there.  The whole age thing scares me quite a lot.

[chiisme1]

Im 41, my first pregnancy about six weeks in. Overjoyed, hopeful and looking forward to the birth of my little one!

[jenniferarmstrong49]

I am 39 and pregnant with my second child. I just miscarried in January so I know the risks but I have to admit that after knowing that it was possible I had to try again. I am a type II diabetic and understood the risks. I am now in my 9th week with no cramping or spotting. Dont get me wrong, I am miserable quite often (back pain, breasts very sensitive, nausea and stretch marks). My husband didnt want this after the miscarraige and the docs repeatative use of the term "high risk" but he is now excited and worried. When I feel my worst I remind myself that I only have six months to go and I will be reminded of how it was all worth it when I look at the beautiful bundle in my arms.

[Mumof3lovelyboys]

Forgot to say he's five and I'm now 47.

[Mumof3lovelyboys]

I was in the exact same situation.  I had three early miscarriages after 40 and before having my perfectly healthy son at age 42.  He's a total delight to us all and probably spoilt rotten as he orders his 12 and 14 year old half-brothers about all the time!  He has so much attention from us all he is devleping really quickly in every way.  I'm not sure how he will handle another younger sibling if my current pregnancy works out though, as he is very possessive of me!

[MO_Mommy]

I know the original post is almost 4 yrs old, but noticed some recent entries and thought I'd share.

I'm 43, my husband 32 and we have been married for 9 yrs, the first for both. We have a daughter who is turning 5, a 4.6 yr old and I found out I'm due in Aug. This current child was planned AGAINST.

Both pregnancies were considered high risk due to prior surgeries, age, and asthma/allergies. My first was a breech c-section and since we lived in a somewhat rural area, it made my second a c-section as well.

We received all the lectures and warnings about conceiving after 35, especially with my second because I was 39.6 when I delivered. The was they treated me and emphasized Currently, I'm at a higher risk for cancer, preterm labor, preeclampsia, placental problems, high blood pressure, low birth weight, (our kids weren't all that big to begin with), stillborn, and diabetes.  Then there's the risk to the child such as Down's, type -1 diabetes, high blood pressure as well as all the problems that go with premature children, (autoimmune issues, learning disabilities, and a myriad of other endless low-birth weight issues.)

Everyone and every pregnancy is different, but I only had 2 problems  and that was with my first, preeclampsia and morning sickness for 9 mo. The latter of which was the reason I didn't gain any weight, there wasn't any meds I could take that didn't have side effects.

Although we passed on it the first two times, (mainly because I was afraid of the pain), we will be looking into either Nuchal Translucency or Amniocentesis. Yes, there are risks but I want to be informed with as much notice as possible to any abnormal results.

My husband is in the medical field and I'm unemployed. Oh wait, I'm supposed to say I'm a SAHM (stay at home Mom). Yes, I do believe I'm more interested in raising good humans, patient and enjoy the little things, then had I started in my 20's. But I will admit to having less energy and occasionally worry about seeing my children raise a family. For me, the trade off is worth it.

Because I don't look my age, I'm fortunate not to have to deal with too much public opinion. On the rare occasion a stranger is aware of my age, I get looks or borderline disparaging comments. For the few that pay attention to my parenting or better yet, my children's behavior, I either get questions about how my age effects how I raise my children or comments about how well behaved they are.

Bottomline, there are things in my life that I would gladly change, but the age that I chose to become a Mom is not one of them.