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Reality of pregnancy in forties?
Not sure if that was the right topic to choose from but here is my question:
I am already forty years old and have two older kids...long story short my new partner is wanting to have a child with me. I have been warned by two Dr.'s already that the risks are higher now because of my age. 1-40 that i will have some problems with the pregnancy. I am afraid of getting into this now but I had said I agreed to try. Now I am getting afraid again at the thought of something going wrong with the baby...the pregnancy or me. I am not sure if I am emotionally strong enough to go through that as my Dr. explained some of the risks to me and the outcomes.
I guess what i am asking is for some more feed back from others regarding this. Either positive or negative.
Thank you....
I am already forty years old and have two older kids...long story short my new partner is wanting to have a child with me. I have been warned by two Dr.'s already that the risks are higher now because of my age. 1-40 that i will have some problems with the pregnancy. I am afraid of getting into this now but I had said I agreed to try. Now I am getting afraid again at the thought of something going wrong with the baby...the pregnancy or me. I am not sure if I am emotionally strong enough to go through that as my Dr. explained some of the risks to me and the outcomes.
I guess what i am asking is for some more feed back from others regarding this. Either positive or negative.
Thank you....
ps. I thought I might add that my friend Mary's twins are perfectly healthy and fine!! They are ten now, Elizabeth is a beauty who sings and dances and models for Macy's catalogs. Daniel is in the artistically-talented program and won 1st prize in the science fair at his school last year. They're not my kids, but thought I'd brag anyway :o) I am so proud of Mary, she suffered two miscarriages and didn't let that stop her from trying again. Ok, I'll go away now.......promise!
Don't let the doctors decide your course of action. Only you know what you can and are willing to do. My best friend Mary had boy/girl twins - she delivered them a month before her 43rd birthday. One of my co-workers had her first baby (all naturally) at 48 a week before Thanksgiving last year. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 42, fought it, survived it and is better than ever now. Her doctor, thank God she had one who is positive and willing to weigh her options with her, told her that she should try if that's what she really wanted - and she did and now has a beautiful little boy who had his christening last weekend.
Search your soul - if it's what you want, go for it. If you find that all you can think of are the negatives, then maybe you don't really want to do this but are considering doing it for your partner - that's a whole different story, isn't it?
Whatever you decide - good luck!!!
Search your soul - if it's what you want, go for it. If you find that all you can think of are the negatives, then maybe you don't really want to do this but are considering doing it for your partner - that's a whole different story, isn't it?
Whatever you decide - good luck!!!
It must be a southern thing with regard to age. It seems many start very early in the south (sorry to stereotype...) but I agree that in the west, the northwest, etc (where I have a ton of family and friends) starting before you're 35 is almost too young!!! Funny!
I had my now 3 yr old son without complications when I was 40. We got very lucky and got pregnant on the 2nd month of trying. We decided we would try to make a sibling for our son and getting pregnant this time around has been a much different story. It took 4 months to get pregnant and then I m/c'd. Got pregnant right away after my 1st period and m/c'd again. After trying for almost 2 years total, I got pregnant again and am now 26 weeks along at age 44. It's been a little bit of a rough road, but I'm sure it will all feel worth it when we're holding our new bundle of joy.
I live in Colorado where it seems the norm to be in your late 30's to mid 40's when bearing children, however, when I was visiting my mom in Florida recently I got a real nasty vibe from someone about my age who was talking about her grand child that is my son's age. I have to say, I really don't care what other people think about our decision to have babies late in life. I can't imagine my life without my wonderful son and I'm sure I won't be able to imagine life without my child to be, once he/she is here. In a lot of ways, I feel like we're much better parents now then we would have been when we were younger. All of the need to party is out of our systems and we're very family oriented.
Good luck with your decision!
Melanie
I live in Colorado where it seems the norm to be in your late 30's to mid 40's when bearing children, however, when I was visiting my mom in Florida recently I got a real nasty vibe from someone about my age who was talking about her grand child that is my son's age. I have to say, I really don't care what other people think about our decision to have babies late in life. I can't imagine my life without my wonderful son and I'm sure I won't be able to imagine life without my child to be, once he/she is here. In a lot of ways, I feel like we're much better parents now then we would have been when we were younger. All of the need to party is out of our systems and we're very family oriented.
Good luck with your decision!
Melanie
I have been through pregnancy hell, but I'm now 40 and in my third trimester. The ladies on this board are probably sick of hearing my story by now but I had 10 mcs since DD in the past three years.
My OB never once mentioned my age as a reason NOT to try, In fact, when I told her I wanted to stop trying for number 2 at 40, she convinced me to at least go for 41.
One of my friends just had a baby at 45, another at 41. Even with 1 in 40, the odds truly are in your favor.
You could do a FSH and estrodial test, which can tell you egg quality. I don't think it's 100% accurate though.
Good luck whatever you decide!
My OB never once mentioned my age as a reason NOT to try, In fact, when I told her I wanted to stop trying for number 2 at 40, she convinced me to at least go for 41.
One of my friends just had a baby at 45, another at 41. Even with 1 in 40, the odds truly are in your favor.
You could do a FSH and estrodial test, which can tell you egg quality. I don't think it's 100% accurate though.
Good luck whatever you decide!
I'm 40 and it's really funny actually. My husband and I prayed and prayed about whether to have a 3rd because I had a life-threatening complication in my last pregnancy (I was 33 at the time). After much thought and consideration we decided to, but given that I was 39 at the time we thought for sure it would take a while. I was already on the fence age-wise and not knowing if we were making a stupid decision not just pregnancy and baby-wise, but lifestyle wise. Heck, I'd be "ancient" when my kids went to college and who knows if I'd ever meet my great-grandkids...
Well, we decided in late June that I'd have my IUD removed and if we decided not to have more kids then he'd get fixed. July wasn't a "timing" month and we just planned on being happy if it happened, or didn't happen but I was still very honestly on the fence about it and had my cycle start on 8.13.07.
And that was my last menstrual cycle and I am now 29 weeks along. I'm honestly overwhelmed and go through periods of total elation and excitement and period of thinking, "WHAT IN THE H*** DID WE DO???? I'M 40!!!" But everyone tells me that the 3rd is so joyous and that I won't feel so "old" when the little guy shows up.
We moved from Calif. to Atlanta in July (double whammy stress-wise) but my Ca. doctor was SO encouraging. He says they don't start blinking an eye until after ~43. Here it seems different...lots of judgment and skepticism. I have gotten to where I don't even like telling someone my age because I get the "Oh. You're pregnant?!? How old are you? That must have been a surprise or a mistake."
Aside from that and with regard to risks, I just decided we all have risks. Period. Having a greater CHANCE of a risk doesn't mean that you will EXPERIENCE that risk...And I had a life-threatening pregnancy risk and a child with developmental delays at 33 (he's fine now). So while age can indeed dicate some things, it can not dictate all things.
It's a personal choice and one that you will vascilate on even when you're pregnant!
Good luck
Christina
Well, we decided in late June that I'd have my IUD removed and if we decided not to have more kids then he'd get fixed. July wasn't a "timing" month and we just planned on being happy if it happened, or didn't happen but I was still very honestly on the fence about it and had my cycle start on 8.13.07.
And that was my last menstrual cycle and I am now 29 weeks along. I'm honestly overwhelmed and go through periods of total elation and excitement and period of thinking, "WHAT IN THE H*** DID WE DO???? I'M 40!!!" But everyone tells me that the 3rd is so joyous and that I won't feel so "old" when the little guy shows up.
We moved from Calif. to Atlanta in July (double whammy stress-wise) but my Ca. doctor was SO encouraging. He says they don't start blinking an eye until after ~43. Here it seems different...lots of judgment and skepticism. I have gotten to where I don't even like telling someone my age because I get the "Oh. You're pregnant?!? How old are you? That must have been a surprise or a mistake."
Aside from that and with regard to risks, I just decided we all have risks. Period. Having a greater CHANCE of a risk doesn't mean that you will EXPERIENCE that risk...And I had a life-threatening pregnancy risk and a child with developmental delays at 33 (he's fine now). So while age can indeed dicate some things, it can not dictate all things.
It's a personal choice and one that you will vascilate on even when you're pregnant!
Good luck
Christina
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