Took an HPT this morning

[adgal]

The good news is it is a BFP!  The bad news is I have been spotting since yesterday.  Not super heavy, but like I would get the day before AF starts.  Its still there today, and a tad bit heavier.  Now AF would have been due next wedensday/thursday, and I know this can be totally normal...implantation or such.  I also know I have told many other women on here that it can be very normal and not to stress, but I am stressed to the max here.  The BFP was a "no doubt about it" positive, so I am hoping this doesn't turn into another chemical on me.  Anyway, going to stay positive and only allow myself to think the best.  I am going to take another test on tuesday to double check, then will make an appointment with OB.  I guess I am asking for more prayers and positive thoughts here. It definatly looks like the ones you all sent for my BFP worked!!  Come on little bean, burrow in nice and deep and stay put!!

[maybebaby29]

I'm sorry to hear that. I am wishing you tons of baby dust--whether your own biological child or one from afar. Either WILL happen for you and you'll be an amazing mom.

Nothing but the best.

[adgal]

Hey all,

Thanks again for all the notes and well wishes.  As of wed. my HCG level was back to  a negative for pregnancy, so they have called it a chemical pregnancy.  I have pretty much moped around for a couple of days and I am sad, but as I had said earlier if this was going to happen, I would rather it now then at 6 or 8 weeks.  I think it was a bit easier in some ways because I was bleeding from the day I got a positive HPT, so I didn't really have the chance to get all excited about things.  That probably doesn't make sense, but somehow its easier this way.

Right now we have decided to take a bit of a break.  We are also starting to look more seriously at international adoption.  Perhaps there is a slightly different plan for me and I am ok with that if thats the way it turns out.  We still aren't going to give up, but as I have said before, how we become parents is not as important as becoming parents, and there are so many beautiful children out there who need someone to love them.  So, we will see what happens.  I know myself, and its entirely possible that as I get closer to next ovulation I will want to try again, and DH has said its entirely up to me and how I feel, so we shall see how it goes.

You are such a wonderful group of women and all the support is appreciated.  

Hugs to all of you,

Amanda

[carpediemforlife]

Friend.....Im sorry.... I will drop you a private note. You got me tearing up....

[Latrice414]

Your in my prayers adgal.

[appointedtime]

Again I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

[appointedtime]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  Keep praying and believing God.  It will definitely happen for you.  DON'T GIVE UP.

Ladies -

I started taking my Geritol Complete on Friday.  It does give me a load of energy.  I hope that's a good thing.  Today I fogged my house.  Neighbor next door has dogs and I noticed some fleas popping on my legs over the weekend.  But anyway, I fogged my house, cleaned up the house afterwards, washed about 4 loads of clothes, rearranged the living room furniture and cooked (meatloaf, porkbones with gravy, fried cabbage, macaroni and cheese and cornbread).  Getting hungry anyone .  That's alot of food and it's only me and my husband at home.  I'm still full of energy.  Usually I'm feeling sluggish by now, but I feel really good.  So I can definitely say the Geritol Complete gives me a boost of energy that I haven't felt in a very long time.  I've also started taking my soy pills as of yesterday.  I was given some advice from my pharmacist that the soy pills does aid in fertility.  But to only take them on the 3rd - 7th day of cycle.  I've been taking my Folic Acid since I'm not taking the Prenatals right now.  Lastly, I drank one cup of green tea.  So I'm on a roll.  Ladies catch me if you can.

I'm feeling good about this TTC right now.  I prayed for all of us, I thanked God in advance for all of us to soon get our BFP's.  We must continue to lift each other up in prayer.  Yeah, the enemy may sometimes enter our minds that maybe children are not for us.  BUT THAT DEVIL IS A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL.  I DON'T RECEIVE THAT AT ALL.  HE HAS TO GIVE BACK EVERYTHING THAT HE HAS STOLEN.  SO HE HAS TO GIVE US BACK OUR FERTILITY. IN JESUS NAME.  My God says in Deuteronomy 7: 13 - 14 ... and He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine  and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your father to give you.  You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock.  I'm standing on the Word of God.  After having done ALL that you can do STAND AND SEE THE SALVATION OF THE LORD.  I may get weary down the road, but today I'm not.  And should I get weary, I ask that you laides lift me up in prayer also.  Have a blessed day.

[jennyb473]

I'm so sorry you are going thru this yet again.  I have seen some of your posts, but forgive me for not knowing much of the details as I haven't been following much lately since the birth of my daughter.  I know your pain - I also have had 4 miscarriages in a row and finally the 5th pregnancy worked - so remember that if it is meant to be it will be and you will be a mommy!  Are you seeing an RE or just a regular OB?  I ask because my RE (my 2nd one) finally had the right combination of drugs for me - progesterone being one of them.  But he had me start it 3 dpo not after a positive test becuase he feels that is too late.  I know some doctors say before and some say after the positive so I wonder if you might be able to start it 3 dpo when you start to ttc again.  Please take your time....grieve and wait until you are ready again before ttc.  After my 4th loss, we took a break for about 5 months and cleared our heads and worked on getting me as healthy as possible before we started to try again - but with progesterone 3 dpo and it worked first time.  

Don't lose faith.....good luck and again, I am so sorry you are going thru this again.  Please feel free to ask me anything if you have any questions on what worked for me....

Jenny

[PamelaBee]

Hi Amanda, I feel your disappointment.  It will happen when you least expect it, I know it's hard not to think about it 24/7 but maybe taking a little break, focusing on other things wouldn't be such a bad idea.  You will make an awesome Mom and you will be blessed very soon!  Keep the faith, thoughts and prayers are with you!  Pam

[christi40]

I am so sorry.  Having read your posts I can tell you that you have brought comfort and wisdom to countless women.  You are in my prayers.  christi

[pertykitty]

im so sorry.  

[agamommy]

I am so sorry ....  but kellym is right  I will also have my fingers and toes crossed for you and you will also be in my prayers...

Hugz,
Pamela

[adgal]

Hey all,

I just got off the phone with OB's offfice.  HCG's were elevated, but not by much.  She said if I had 2 positve HPT's they must have been over 25 at some point, so there really isn't much chance here.  I knew it in my heart yesterday anyway, so not overly surprised.  I ranted and raved last night (sorry about that post), and now I will just wallow in self pity for a bit and once again move forward.  I may take a bit of a break from ttc for a bit, as that is now 4 in 9 months and its all getting to be a bit much for me.  Not giving up, just taking a break.  That may change by the time next O comes along, and maybe I will want to go for it again then...who knows.  Gonna take it day by day.  I think this one was a bit of an extra challange as tomorrow was the due date of the first pregnancy so emotions are running doubly high.  I am however counting my blessings that I do conceive so very easily and so hopefully its just a matter of time.  Thanks again for the support and hand holding....its gotta happen eventually right?  Hugs to you all.  Amanda

[kellym]

I always felt like you, that it was unfair. BUT you have no definative answers yet so hold on!! I have my fingers, toes & whole body crossed for you!!

[Helen72]

Amanda,
I am so very sorry you are going through this again.  And yes, this is so unfair!

[40smama]

Amanda - we haven't formally met but I've read your posts before and can tell you're a really sweet person.  I hate that you're going through all of this anguish - I hope that the beta turns out good and that the next one shows increasing numbers - stick little bean!! - jennifer

[pertykitty]

im sorry you are going through this stress.  emotions are hard to control when it comes to a baby.  try to sleep!

[adgal]

So many encouraging words, and they do help. I am hoping this is a situation like Sheri or Debbie had, or like Perty said she has heard of.  Spotting is definatly not the case anymore, I am full out bleeding (sorry, TMI again).  I had to put a pad on this afternoon.  No clots or cramps though.  I would think this was just AF except I am never ever this early.  A day or two I could maybe accept, but not 4 days, with 2 days of heavy spotting before it.  Plus that little matter of two BFP HPT's. (and not just seen with my eyes).  Seeings how this morning was another BFP, I have no doubt my bloodwork will come back positive (at least they are doing a quantative, so will have a real number to start with), then I am going to have to wait until wed. for the second test.  And that is going to feel like forever.  Sorry, I am know I am venting, but I am not having a good night here.  Its almost 1 in the morning, and I can't sleep. This just isn't fair.  I mean, drug addicts seem to have an easier time making this work then I do.  I know, take my own advice to others, don't assume the worst, etc.  Right now emotion is overtaking logic.  Sorry all, just needed to get that out of my system.

[pertykitty]

hey there amanda im late on this post. im keeping my fingers crossed!  i know so many that bled at this point in their pg so lets stay positive!  i think at some time around now it burys itself in deep  and that can cause bleeding.  it wouldnt be implantation because you have a bfp and that cant happen till after when the hormones are detected.  i will be up first thing to check out what is happening ;)

[LuvAbaby]

I am wishing you well during this, it is so hard waiting to see how the pregnancy is going. I understand how you feel when you say you just want to know where this preg. is going...and would rather know now. That is how I felt when I had my ectopic. I was so sad, but just wanted to know if it wasn't viable. I am so anxious to have a healthy preg., as I am sure you are as well! Best of luck and I truly hope you get great news!!!!

[Tarobinc]

Keep us posted. I am wishing the best for you!

[Helen72]

Good luck on your beta!!!

[adgal]

Hey all, thanks again for all the posts.  I took another HPT this morning, and it was still positive.  I called OB's office and told the nurse their whats going on.  I am still doing what I would call "heavy spotting". No full flow or anything, but day 3 of this and quite frankly, its making me a bit crazy.  I am going this afternoon for bloodwork, and will have results if not today, then tomorrow afternoon latest (they are really good about getting results fast).  She basically has two different possible scenarios...one is much like many of you described, which is just a light cycle and pregnancy proceeds....very common.  The second is of course a chemical pregnancy which has happenend to me once before (loss number 2).  Either way I really just want to know.  THis may sound really cold, but if this pregnancy is not going to work out, I would rather now then 6 or 8 weeks from now.  And the waiting of course can make you insane, so I am glad I called.

Thanks for the support, I really want this to be ok.  Amanda

[maybebaby29]

Wishing you all the best in this journey this time.

[Helen72]

Did you take HPT?  What was the result?
We are all rooting for you!