UGH things aren't getting easier :O(

[shesherm]

UGH so we took lil Saraya to the DR friday for her weigh in...She had been eating much better and even starting to wake just before feedings..I even thought maybe she was going through a growth spurt because Thur she was wanting to eat like every hour and a half...We were hoping for atleast 6 1/2 pounds.  (after delivery theya are suppose to gain 1 oz a day) but she should have been close to 7........Well she only weighed 6lbs 1oz..and Dr wants us to use bottles EVERY feeding to see how much she is  taking in (ooh by the way she is having the correct number of dirty diapers so who would have know) Dr really seems to push FORMULA (even at our 1st interview with him and in the hospital when we delivered but i didnt want to use formula)but did say we could used expressed breast milk...
So this has only made life MORE DIFFICULT.  Not onlly am I trying to FORCE FEED my lil one and it is talking about and hour or so per feeding I am also TRYING to pump so my milk supply stays and hopefully I will be able to NURSE soon.....
So needless to say I feel like the worst mom in the world..am way stressed out and cry all the time...I WILL DO THIS BECAUSE MY LIL PUMPKIN IN WORTH IT...cant quite see the light at the end of the tunnel yet...but I just know it is there.

I am a little upset because DR didnt really seem to take into consideration the fact that she was 4 weeks early, sick for over a week and they weighed her last time with her diaper on and this time with it off...(I know diapers dont weight alot but at this size EVERY oz counts)

Thanks for letting me vent, it has just been so hard knowing she needs to eat and it breaks my heart every time I feed her if she doesnt eat what the DR wants her to.

Hope you all have better luck than I am :O)
((Sheila))

[tahariel]

I'm so glad that things are doing better now. Let us know how the next weigh-in goes. We'll be thinking about the two of you and wishing you both well!  You can always pump the extra milk and freeze it for later use, to keep your production up.

I just remembered that I would change baby's diaper in between sides. It would help wake them up in between because they sure did not like being undressed or changed during those first several weeks. Good luck!

[shesherm]

Thanks, I actaully looked on the la leche web site when we got home because I had soooo much milk.  I wasnt stopping her at 30 mins she just stopped and wouldnt continue to nurse so I ASSUMED she was gettgin enough milk (diapers were on the money)...and nothing would keep her awake let alone activelly nurse.  She NEVER  woke to eat.  She is doing much better now and is starting to wake before feedings, but still falls asleep and stops nursing and wont start back up feedings are still taking about an hour sometimes, hopefully another week or so and she will be an eating machine but she is doing GREAT now and I am actually looking forward to "weigh in" she is doing so well.  Thanks again for all the support :O)
((Sheila))

[tahariel]

Maybe it's time to find a new pediatrician who is breastfeeding supportive and friendly. Do you have a La Leche league or lactation consultant in your healthcare system? They are so very supportive and helpful and always full of great information and advice. I would seriously question a doctor who is so ready to push formula. Breastfeeding is bestand doctors should be supportive and helping you maximize breastfeeding for as long as possible.  You are a great mom for wanting to breastfeed, good for you!!!  Don't let any doctor, or anyone else for that matter, talk you out of what you know is best.

You're baby was 4 weeks early, of course she is going to be smaller and wants to sleep alot. Sleeping is when babies do their growing.

Were you limiting her nursings to just a half hour? I wasn't sure what you meant by her 30 minute nursing sessions. You would want to let her breastfeed until she pops herself off, satisfied, no matter how long that takes. Then burp her and still offer the other side. Unfortunately, it may take an hour each time to feed her, but breastfeeding is best, so the time spent feeding her is worth it. Eventually they become much more efficient, but those first few weeks you can be sitting there for an hour or more each feeding. Don't give up! It is so worth it!!!

Both my babies would always fall asleep while nursing those first few weeks. It takes time to figure out what can help keep them actively nursing. They can still nurse while sleeping, as long as they are actively nursing. Rubbing their backs, or feet or cheeks, burping them, etc.  Those first few weeks, it would take them almost an hour to nurse, but they gradually became much more efficient. Eventually the one hour nursing session turned into 15-20 minutes, for both sides. Your baby just needs to get a little older and stronger before that happens. Stick with it, you are doing a great job!

In a nutshell, find a lactation consultant or contact the LaLeche league for support. Find a new pediatrician who is breastfeeding friendly and keep up the great mommy work!

[shesherm]

Ladies,
Thanks...Reno I neede a daquari so bad :O)...I do like my DR and this is my only issue with him..he wanted us to supplement from the time she was born MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE, but I was happy he did say using expressed milk was OK he just wanted bottles to see how much she was taking in.
It looks like my lil Saraya is just SLEEPY lol.  she latches on fine but falls asleep.  It took almost an hour last night for DH to get her to take 3oz.  So there is no way she was getting what she needed during my 30 min nursing sessions.  Today I nursed at a couple of feeding and then "topped her off" with formula LOL
I feel much better today and just think the DR jumped the gun, she has been awake much more this afternoon and is taking less time to get the desired amount down :O)
SO....I am going to continue to use expressed milk and nurse a few times a day and FORMULA at night to bulk her up...and then go in this week to see if it is working...I'm sure it is because now I know she is just a sleepy (aka lazy) baby

Christina, thanks I called my sisters who both have twins that were early and they all "ate like champs"  so it was great to actually hear from someone else who DID EVERYTHING to get their il one to eat with no luck.

ladies you are the best I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AND CAN DO THIS :o)

[babyalive]

Sheila,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  This is supposed to be such a wonderful happy time.  I can't believe your dr. is pushing the formula so much.  I would disagree greatly with you being the "worst mother in the world"!  I think your anguish itself over whats going on shows how very much you care and what a wonderful conscientious mother you are!

Also, I've heard they make bottles/nipples that are very much like a real nipple for nursing babys to have less of a transitional adjustment from bottle to breast and visa versa.  Maybe you can look into how to purchase them and send dh on an run to the store.

It seems little Saraya is gaining weight given the diaper scenerio and she was so close to her goal weight for this weigh in.  Please try not to worry.  You are doing all the right things.  Keep expressing that milk and enjoy being with your little angel.  

[Renogirl]

Alright - pull up a bar stool Miss Sheila - lets have a strawberry daquiri together - you are NOT a bad mommy - let me remind you of everything you did to keep Miss Saraya healthy and happy so she could bake as long as possible - she is just going to do things at her own pace - I think what bothers me most is I'm sensing you aren't really comfortable with your pediatrician and what he's telling you - have you considered changing doctors?  If you aren't ok with this one and he doesn't feel the same way as you or at least support your decisions - then maybe he isn't he right doc for you - but first, repeat after me - I AM A GREAT MOMMY - your punkin is growing and healthy - and that's what is important

[cpatow]

Sweetheart, with my first daughter I went through the very same thing. The VERY same thing. It hurts you so much when it seems that it's not working otu with feeding and that you spend all waking hours trying to nurse and pump and nurse and pump, then sleep, change diapers and then nurse and pump. My little girl fought and argued and, for me, it turned out she couldn't latch on. So while it seemed she was hungry with a voracious appetite because she was ON ME all the freakin' time, she was on me all the freakin' time and fussy and angry because she wasn't getting any milk from me. Tell me THAT didn't break my heart.

So after 3 weeks of crying 24/7 because I was tired along with all of the above, I finally caved (well, what I thought was caving at the time) and did bottles. It was tough the first two days because I felt like the most awful mom EVER and that I was being selfish to do bottles so it was easier on ME, but after a few days more I realized that had I not done bottles it would have only seemed easier on me rather than better for her.

My doctor reassured me and reassured me that since I'd nursed for 3 weeks she had gotten the best of the milk, the collustrom (spelling?) and that while breast milk IS always better there is NOTHING WRONG with formula...in fact we were almost all brought up on it in our moms' generation. My little girl quickly began gaining weight and sleeping better and while I was "blessed" with a little girl who also had horrible colick 14-hours a day, had we not switched at to formula for us the 14-hour-a-day colick would have been more amplified.

So, my advice to you is to keep trying until in your heart you feel okay in knowing that it's time to switch over. Some women and/or some babies just aren't successful for whatever reason with nursing. For me, my nipples are inverted so it will almost never work without a lot of preparation and frustration but I still tried for the first few weeks anyways. Wtih my second I couldn't breastfeed at all because of my blood clot and meds I was on in the hospital and with this 3rd I will try and see how it goes.

So, please, please, please don't feel like a bad mommy if you have to switch. Just realize that sometimes our little bundles just don't get enough from us so we have to augment and there is also NOTHING wrong with pumping and giving your little one both breastmilk AND formula.

You are not a bad mommy. You are a new mommy learning about your baby while your baby learns about you. This is all part of the process and the frustration you are feeling is not only totally expected, it is totally normal. Hang in there!!!!!

Christina
22w6d

[Tanker Chic]

Oh Sheila, It breaks my heart for you say you feel like the worst mommy in world.  I know that isn't true. Things like this happen, and you can't blame yourself.  Sometimes these things just need to be worked out and that is what you are doing.

Hang in there mommy, you are doing a great job!! Saraya knows she is being cared for and loved.