rant....

[Butterball66]

Watched about 15 minutes of this youtube video i keep seeing and i think its complete crap. No one can tell me how to have my baby but me. I had my first ALL natural with no pain or meds in 3.5 hours after getting stuck half way through. Had my second with a csection by my choice because my son got stuck and i was told she was much bigger than my son and again no pain or complications and a great birth. Only bad thing was i found out i was highly allergic to morphine which i was given for pain afterwards. Now my last boy will be born by scheduled csection because i will be tying my tubes. But i feel like everyone is different and we shouldnt scare these woman especially FTM who are choosing to be induced. Its a personal choice but if i were a FTM i would be scared as hell to give birth reading someone these comments.

[Tigerlily28]

It's called The Business of Being Born. I watched it because like CountryMomToBe I have always wanted a water birth. When they were talking about what the doctors and nurses say to you, it was exactly what my sister went through. She didn't want an epidural but she. They decided to give her pitocin her contractions were so intense that she finally had one. My sister is pregnant again and is still going to have her baby the same way. To each their own. My waterbirth will be at the hospital just in case anything does happen. Anything is possible and it shows that in the movie at the end. I don't think it should be a Bible for pregnant women but it does reign some thruths in how America views child birth. I understand why people need c sections and if my child or myself was in a dire situation I would have one too. Might not be what I wanted but at least my baby and I would be alive and well. That's all that matters. I wish everyone the best in their deliveries and would never want anything ill to happen to anyone.

[Candy_T]

The business of being born

[bama_mama]

Whats the movie that yoi guys are talking about? Im curious and would like to watch it on youtube so that i can see wht you guys are talking about. I mean nothing will change my opinion or my choices or decisions i already have in place for myself and delivery but im just nosy and want to watch it lol

[Candy_T]

I'm very sorry that you had to endure that likklehev. That's horrible and scary. :(

[likklehev]

I had my baby 9 days ago and would do it natural next time ive only ever had paracetamol and ibuprofen and the hospital gave me codiene which made me crazy and not know what I was doing I then had gas and air which once it set in was great but the codeine was still in my system I was shouting and swearing and out of control and this was just off of a tablet I after my waters broke I then had the strongest dose of diamorphene that you can have this sent me absolutely crazy during labour I was getting off the bed I was shouting and squaring up to doctors for an epidural but it was too late she was on her way I tried to run off to the toilet because when my baby was on its way out I decided I need a poo then when the babies head was half way out they were going to cut me but I started getting up off the bed id given up and was going home and she just fell out because I went from 2cm dialated to having her in an hour the diamorphene was still in her body and they spent 10 minutes resuscitating her then she had to go into special care. The question I ask is why when a tablet that you can buy over the counter sent me offmy head then why give the strongest dose of ddiamorphene that you can have bearing in mind im only 7stone 5 and 4 foot 11 so have a childs body. I will definitely be going natural next time it ruined me not hearong my baby cry straight away and having to wait 15 minutes to have a cuddle with her dont get me wrong I will be giving birth in a hospital incase something went wrong but I wouldnt have pain meds again

[CountryMomToBe]

Interesting.   I have always known (from literally like the time I was 7, that I wanted natural birth).  I've always hated doctors, hated hospitals... in college I was studying biochemistry on scholarship bc I wanted to make a positive difference in research & development in pharmacology.... while studying for the p cat I realized it absolutely was not for me.  The things I read & discovered blew my mind.  Disgusted me actually.

By the time I got to adulthood & became pregnant I decided I wanted home birth & a midwife.  I was already well into my midwife payment contract by the time I had even heard about the ricki lake documentary.  So for my husband & I all it did was reassure our prior beliefs.  

No, it's not okay to judge others,  but it is quite sad and alarming how many women just trust that the medications they are given in pregnancy are safe because their doctor told them so... or how many women really are naive to the risks of surgical medical procedures.

I feel like women need to be educated on both sides of the spectrum.  The thing is that people just seem to cling to ignorance & continue on whichever path (midwife or hospital) blindly bc someone told them to do it. I wish people did more research before making decisions... and not just asking one question on a forum, or getting a one sided answer from a nurse, or watching a youtube clip, or asking friends what their mother's cousin said... I mean real evidence based research. For BOTH sides.

[bunnykissy]

I've never seen that film. But for my first child I had a midwife. That baby is almost 13 years old. I just turned 20 when I delivered.  I viewed midwives as a doctor that looks after you and the baby. I had that baby in a hospital and I was induced and had an epidural. My second child we moved to different states twice. The doctor that delivered my baby was a total biatch. I delivered at 22 years old, almost 23. Im now 33 and pregnant,  my gyn is my ob doc. She's okay nothing great but def.nothing bad, but to be honest the midwife I had was awesome. If you're wondering what to do about child birth,  do your own research and go with what feels more comfortable to you. I didn't know I wanted an epidural until I got to that level. Im hoping this pregnancy I can go into labor without being induced but if it happens im ok with it. Good luck to all the ftm and seasoned mommies.

[LoriBee]

My plan this time around is the same as it was with my son.  I found the BEST  OBGYN in Toronto. He delivered ME and about 27000 other babies. I gladly put myself,  my future fertility and my baby in his hands.  And I listen to my body.  With my son I didn't want to be medicated and I ended up being induced with an epidural.  Those were MY choices. My doctor was there for me every step of the way.  He never forced me he told me his opinion and let me decide.  

In the end my son's delivery was perfect.  

Some women really take it to a whole new level with the judgement.  And they forget that childbirth itself separate from all other variables has risks.  Our bodies are designed for it yes but there is always risk.  Natural or induced you could need an emergency section.  

Question is: where do you  want to be if there is an emergency?  If the unthinkable happens?  And would you bet not only your baby's life but your own on the place and person attending your birth?  

It's all personal and there isn't any one perfect answer. Telling people they're wrong for any choices they make in this is insane.

[Candy_T]

Bump

[loveontop2014]

I'm a FTM and I'm not planning on watching any videos and/or documentaries. I don't want anything to scare me, freak me out, or cause concern(s). I want to be knowledgeable, of course, but I'll rather ask my mom (who had 4), my grandma (she had 6), and my sister (she has 2), also along with other friends and family members of their experiences. Truth be told, I'm wondering about taking birthing classes (Lamaze) and parenting classes. I'm interested in it, but going back to the "I don't want to hear a lot of negativity". Although this is my first pregnancy, I do have almost 10 years of working experience with children and newborns, so that is not my concern. I just want to know about pregnancy and the big day. For you women who are understanding and not thinking you are pros and you know it all because this is not your first, I thank you. I ask for advice and opinions and am looking for support, comfort, and understanding. Luckily, I have found and received that. But like some of the other ladies have stated, this is my body, our pregnancy, and our son. However my husband and I decide to bring him in this world is our choice. Thank you to the ones who are another extended support system. I just love this app! :) Good luck and best wishes Mommies!

[Candy_T]

Want or*

[Candy_T]

This is interesting, because I'm a FTM and believed I was in the wrong if I didn't go the route that the documentary was speaking of. I was so convinced that I started searching for licensed midwives and told my family that I wanted to go au natural. However the fear crept in and the questions began. What if I decide I want drugs? What if I made a bad decision? What if something goes wrong and I end up in the hospital anyway? Is this something, I truly wantor convinced myself of wanting? So, I haven't really discussed it any further with my folks nor continued my search and decided to just let nature take its course, so to speak. My ob is very knowledgeable and has been delivering babies for years so I trust that she'll not only respect my wishes, but will def take my child's health into consideration (and mine) before jumping the gun and administering unnecessary things. I'm not knocking those who go the other route, just expressing how I felt when I considered it.

[OctoberMommy2014]

I'm a ftm and I'm not watching ANYTHING after reading this!! lol!!!
I'm going to pray to God that He helps me make the best decisions for me, my fiancé, & our baby, and I pray He just leads me all the way.. keeping us healthy and safe!!

[thenewmrs_b]

Sorry posted to soon

The elective section rate is alarming and I think its ridiculous to not WANT to try.

[thenewmrs_b]

I agree..  i actually just watched it yesterday but my scheduled 2nd section is already in place (obviously the movie didn't change my mind)

I have NP with opinions but the end of the movie where the woman says she didn't bond with her baby and couldn't breast feed because she had a section really bothered me. As I said I've had a section already as did many women I know (including my mother with me) and I feel like I am bonded very well with my daughter. And I am and always have been the closet to my mom over my sisters who were natural drug free births before me... I was so offended and feel really bad that I know these ftm's are watching this and being terrified to have ANY MEDICAL INTERVENTIONS.

My sister had three inductions and no sections... it happens all the time at my hospital and my Dr only induced me at 41+3 because my water had been ruptured with no contractions for 18 hours. And ended in a section because after 36 hours I was still only 2cm and come to find out the cord was aroundmy girls neck 3 times and she COULDNT descend.





That being said I did agree that the women who have sections for no reason

[wishes2891]

I agree! And I bet even though you didn't say exactly what movie you're talking about i can guess. It's totally biased and a lot said is just over broad generalizations that are meant to scare moms. I always cringe when I see it mentioned and ftm's thinking it's 100% truthful.

[PDMOMMY]

I totally agree. Thank you for posting this! Abbb01 the film they're referring to is a documentary made by RICKI LAKE (ha)!! It's very opinionated & based on her experiences being pregnant. I don't even post the method that I've chosen for birth because it's my business & I'm not here to be judged. So many women here seem to be experts on childbirth now since they've seen that film when in fact, a lot of them missed many points. That video basically said no induction, no epidural, no c-section, no hospital & no Obstetrician! I wonder if they all cancelled their next doctor's appointment & found midwives..yeah I just bet they did :/

[Mama2Mia]

I second that! Too many people on their pedestal trying to impose their personal views on other moms and freak them out in the process. Are they trying to say that women who have a natural delivery (despite all the risks involved) are somehow better mothers than those who have c-sections? Perfectly healthy babies are born BOTH via csection and natural.

[abbb01]

I completely agree and its like off one movie made by someone who cant help have their own biased opinion (idk but wouldnt be suprised if it was made by a dude) lots of women suddenly become experts on how all babies should be born and if u do otherwise ur ignorant and risking u a ur own lo life

[simplylizzy23]

I agree.