Crushed..

[Ruby0213]

My husband and I just got into a huge argument because he accidentally threw away my baby girls ultrasound pictures. I had them in an envelope because I was taking them to work to show people, and he mistakenly thought it was trash while he was cleaning and threw them out. Unfortunately the garbage man has already come and gone so they are definitely gone. Of course I was upset, but I didn't get angry with him because mistakes happen. Howevet, he turned it around on me saying I obviously didn't care about them too much if I just had them sitting in and envelope. Then it came out that if I'm so careless with the pictures then that's how I am going to be with our daughter and that he thinks I'm going to be  a bad mother....I don't think my feelings have ever been this hurt. I don't really know how to react to that because I don't think any amounts of "I'm sorry" will make me forgive what he has said to me. Any advice?

[Ruby0213]

Thanks ladies. I know he probably didn't mean it but I just don't understand why he can't think about how that would affect me before saying it. And he has such a double standard with things....the other day he accidentally left our dog outside all day while we were at work. I came home and found her and she was completely fine (thankfully we live in Florida so it wasn't cold) but I didn't question his ability to parent, nor did I make him feel any worse about it than he already did because I didn't see that as making anything better. It just makes me worry about the long road of parenting we have together and how many things are going to be deemed "my fault"

[adanae11]

I just give him space and let him cool down and run what he said through his head. I found with my husband when he acts like that it makes it worse if I try to talk about it then. I just let him come around to it. Hope this helped some! Good luck and just keep the bigger picture in mind,  try not to focus one 1 fight.

[ambs87]

Find out if the ultrasound place has the images saved in your file in their system. You might be able to get them back

[adanae11]

My husband kind of goes off like that too sometimes. My 3 year old fell and got a big bump on his head (which most 3 year olds do often) and my husband came home from work and freaked out about it. He stated saying things like if you can't even handle 1 how can I leave you with 2? He had a bad day at work and that one more thing set him off. He had acted that way a few times before and i just know that he says things he regrets afterward. Later he said how sorry he was and that he didn't mean it. He was just stressed out and worried about having the new baby and more family to care for.

[Shohna]

Im not too good with relationship advice..been divorced almost 8 years..but maybe hes lashing out because he feels bad..obviously the pictures must be important to him too..just as a side point..i had a scan last week and those photos are in an envelope..i thought it best to keep them in it as theyre better protected lol..i wonder if you sit and talk once the anger has calmed if you can feel better about it all