am I the only one not having sex?

[octoberpumpkin]

This whole pregnancy my husband and I have only had sex 2 times. Once in the 1st trimester... Which was a little awkward on his part, I chalked it up to  him being nervous about the baby. We talked about it but never tried again until to 2nd trimester. That time he came onto me in the morning but it quickly got awkward again (on his part) and he couldn't finish or stay up and it got him frustrated and we just quit. Then I cried because I already feel like an ugly whale and thst was just something I couldn't emotionaly handle. We've NEVER had problems before.


Now I'm 39 weeks and everyone, including my doctors are telling us to have sex. So we tried tonight and he couldn't even get it up. We tried for like 20 minutes and then just quit again. I feel so humiliated. It seems like everyone else has sex the whole pregnancy and they always say "oh he can't keep his hands off me" but we are so far from that.

Am I the only one?

[my1frstbaby]

If sex is just to get your labor started, try castor oil instead.
I've heard it doing wonders for most women in terms of getting their labor started. I plan on going that route myself around my due date which is 8 weeks from now

[octoberpumpkin]

Thanks ladies. I had a long cry and we had a long talk lol. We're both putting too much pressure into it. For now, no sex plans in the near future. We'll wait until baby comes and we get back to normal without feeling like we HAVE to have sex

[midgetkat2102]

With my first kid I had sex twice, that was not my choice, with this one I can't seem to keep him off me. Some guys just get weirded out by the thought of a baby in there.
I understand the not feeling attractive, I cried for a good 45min when my maternity underwear fit with my first child.
but really he's missing out pregnancy sex is the best sex ever, because everything is so wet and swollen.
Maybe try just kissing to start, and tell him you need some sort of intimacy and kissing is a good start.
Good luck :)

[bump_2_be]

I had my lo 2 wks ago and we have only had sex 2 maybe 3 times in the past 10months. I keep telling him im not even sure how I got pregnant haha. I had NO sex drive at all throughout my entire pregnancy along with both of us working odd hours and being tired. It *****, but just know this shall soon oass and it will be all good again eventually.  Personally if I were you, I would ask him about it and see if maybe there is a reason for it. He may just be a bit scared or insecure himself at the moment.  

[joamb]

My husband and I can't have sex due to doctors orders, it affects me more than my husband, I feel your pain hun! I think it's probably just like he said now it's been so long and now he's nervous due to the pressure. Just relax maybe some forplay will help. Best of luck

[AshleyKeene]

I hate sex now that I'm pregnant it feels like a chore I put it off as much as I can. Doesn't feel good when you have a big ball as a stomach.

[ashbabyno2]

I have completely went off sex. once a week we r having it or less and it doesnt feel the same as in feels numb down there :/. dont worry about ur man failing to "rise" hes probs putting so much pressure on himself his manhood wont work. I feel ugly and fat as well  stretch marks from previous pregnancy are highlighted wif my evergrowig belly. sex isnt what makes a relationship. stregnth and love is. and if use have that use will b fine xx

[mgevans]

Maybe try some low pressure activity like mutual self pleasure so there's no pressure. If he's turned on by watching you and can take care of himself that's good. Guys feel a lot of pressure to perform on command and maybe since he's had a few misses he's feeling insecure...the added weight of you're current self image makes it difficult for him to...

[octoberpumpkin]

He did assure me its not me, he just said that the whole sex thing got put on a pedestal and he wants to make me feel wanted but all of the pressure affected him in an odd way. I think it's just every person we talk to these days jumps down our throats asking if I'm dilated, and telling us to have sex because thst will help get things going and it took the sexiness out of it and made it into this task we should do. And then we both feel weird like we're the only husband and wife not having sex while pregnant.  

[octoberpumpkin]

Thanks ladies. He is very understanding, Ive pushed the sex issue more than he has, I think he pretty much wrote that off right away because he was afraid of hurting me and the baby and just doesn't know how to go about it with me being pregnant. I think me asking about it and all the pressure from our friends and doctors saying "have sex to get labor started" constantly put him in a tight spot. We talked. I'm lucky I have such s supportive man...but we still don't plan on trying anymore. After the baby comes, and a month or so goes by, then we will work on our sex life again. Right now he's embarrassed and I'm a wreck (who isn't at 39 weeks)  

[cass86steve]

My husband was always afraid he was going to hurt the baby with our first. He would get excited the lose it because the baby kicked or moved and he would freak. Maybe your hubs is also worried about your baby. Just reassure him that baby will be fine and as long as it feels good for you its fine. I promise your baby will not be born with dents in its head. Good luck!

[AaGarrett12]

Also I'm 39 weeks as well.

[AaGarrett12]

My husband and I are going through the same thing. Its not that he's not attracted to you. Mine's a horn dog too, so believe that its not you. For mine its all psychological, he's afraid that he's gonna hurt our son or that he'll grab him. We both know it won't happen but he just can't get it out of his head. And he is nervous about being a dad, so he's trying not to freak out. Just give yourselves some time and once your baby is here and you have the all clear and energy I'm sure everything will go back to normal.

[Skittles_2_1_15]

Oh yea we all are whales hunny just for the moment.. embrace it lol... Do feel no way.. just buy a new lingerie.. :-)

[Skittles_2_1_15]

If it's your hubby an you love him you'll get that thing up... I don't do it but everrrrry once in a pink moon but I guarantee that will work.. use whip cream and or chocolate syrup when you do.. oh he will get it up... Well rather you  will wake it up...

[my1frstbaby]

I'm in the same boat as yours.
I have had sex just 3 times in my pregnancy n now at 32 weeks I feel so uncomfortable that I don't even want to try. My husband is supporting me mentally since I feel guilty about him not getting any. I guess he is mentally prepared tht things r not going to happen until after a month or 2 of delivery.
I guess communication is the key. Try and talk to him and maybe you both need to ease each other out.

[nonishy]

I think I had sex a couple months ago. I'm 25wks now. My husband doesn't mind. Thankfully. He's a good man very understanding.  

[octoberpumpkin]

I'm not giving him a hard time, I'm just...idk. I'm having a hard time myself. As much as I love this baby, I need him to be here already so I can put some happiness in place of all of my insecurity

[tat87]

Truly though, it isn't your body. It is more than likely that HE feels like he isn't measuring up, and it's mentally blocking him from being able to perform. I have gained weight and seriously look humongous,but that hasnt stopped my hubby, and he has always only seen me small. Trust me, it's not you.

[jamieleighwaugh]

We've been the same way.   You may feel undesirable,  but try to think about how he may feel.   For a man to not be able to perform sexually is one of the most humiliating things for them to experience.   And once it happens it only happens again because of nerves.   Not for lack of desire or passion for you.   Cut him slack and resume see when you can after without punishment or pressure.  

[octoberpumpkin]

I wish it was that. He's usually a horn dog so the fact that I completely turn him off to the point where he can't even get it up is just so embarrassing for me

[angieexx]

im.25 weeks , bad i have it bad no sex drive what so ever and my boyfriend is having a hard time dealing with it almost seems ower relationship is falling apart :/ he dosnt understand so depressing

[octoberpumpkin]

There is no trying anymore. I can not emotionally handle this happening anymore. After this baby we aren't having sex until I'm completely confident with my weight and body again .I've never felt so humiliated in my life .

[MamaLittleAK]

Don't feel bad. He's probably really nervous about potentially by urging the baby. I didnt even have a sex drive until two weeks ago and I'm 20 weeks now. And you know your husaband is attracted to you because he's coming on to you. No worries. And try just letting the entire process happen naturally.