Depressed.... Needing to vent

[dee_lopez]

Hey my prego buddies,
I don't really have any questions. I just feel like crying.. I have depression already and I went off my meds when I found out I was pregnant because I just didn't want anything to happen. I'm 32 weeks and I'm in a relationship but I have just left my husband about a year ago. We were going to reconcile and I broke up with my current bf and it just fell apart and my husband and I decided not too. In the meanwhile I found out I was pregnant, its my husbands baby. I told my bf and he accepted my pregnancy and we just kind of moved on BUT I still love my husband and would like to get back with him. All this is going on and I'm pregnant and so extremely stressed out. My bf isn't where my heart is and everything seems to be falling apart, financially and I'm a mess emotionally and I'm CONSTANTLY sad. I can't talk to my bf about anything because he says I need to be over my husband already and he doesn't understand we were married 10 1/2 years and have 4 kids together, he also helped me raid my other 3 I had from a previous relationship. In total I have 7 pregnant with no.8  On top of my kids my pregnancy my bf is so extremely needy and complains about EVERYTHING. I am so tired of hearing about his feelings and how much I hurt him and how I just don't know what to do and how stupid I am for still worrying about my husband. I just don't know which way is up or what to do anymore. I have made a complete mess of my life and I feel so dumb for the choices I have made other than my baby boy coming I have done everything wrong and I feel like I'm so alone and I don't know what to do or if it will get better. I'm so tired of being strong for everyone and I can't grieve that my marriage is over because it makes my bf upset. I feel like I'm going crazy and I just want to stay in bed and cry and not deal with anyone for awhile. This pregnancy has been the most stressful and horrible. I wanted to enjoy it but I haven't done that for a day. Everyday its something. I just don't anymore. Thanks for listening ladies and I'm sorry for writing so much!

[sarahyael24]

Dee_Lopez I have to say reading your story and comments, I have much respect and sympathy for what you are going through. It seems like life has given you a lot to handle, more than most and you seem to have cone out the other side still fighting. Although our paths are very different, I can tell you that i know what its like living with depression and sacrificing your mesdicstion for the health of your son. I'm doing the same thing. I still get stressed out, cry, and sleep all day sometimes. All I can day is that you will find what is right for you. And if I could suggest anything, listen to your heart and minimize that added stress in your life. Only then will you find that calmness you're looking for. Love yourself, your baby and your children first. The rest will fall naturally if you believe in yourself the way I do.
Best of luck and thanks for sharing your story.

[dee_lopez]

Thank you ladies. I actually feel like a damn teenager sometimes! Lol I talk to my mom and its like I know what needs to be done and she gives me advice also, its like I bring all this on myself and I don't mean too. She just tells me just wait until the baby gets here, you'll be so wrapped up I'm in him you'll forget all about those two. I feel completely abnormal right now. Lol. I know its my hormones. I have awesome family and friends that know what I've been through and they're so supportive and my kids especially they're so over protective and tell me all the the time mom just be happy mom that's all. I LOVE this app so much it has actually helped me in so many ways. And I completely appreciate your insight on my situation. I respect what you ladies have to say and just know that having this conversation has actually helped me the last 2 days. So thank you. In know my life is a mess right bow buy I believe God is directing me to my path and its just gna take me time to figure out what that is. But I do know that my babies re my number one concern and I am going to try my best to give them what they deserve and that's stability..

[BonitaMichelle]

I would say dont make any decisions while pregnant.   We can get extremely emotional.

[jen0221]

I would suggest dumping both of them! If your bf is telling you that you're stupid for grieving your husband, he isn't supporting you or being understanding of your situation. Even if he's been married and divorced twice, everyone handles situations different and it affects them differently. He needs to understand that but doesn't. I'd dump your husband because there is no point in wasting your time with a guy who makes you feel like he doesn't love you. If you've told him you need more romance, etc and he isn't even willing to do it, why should you try to make things work? If you've told him your marriage is in danger and he just says 'ehh', he obviously isn't invested and you will likely end up getting a divorce later on anyway if you do get back together. If you can, just try focusing on your pregnancy and forget guys until your emotions become a little more stabilized.

My cousin ended up finding out she was pregnant but her and the dad had already broken up. I watched her go through relationship after relationship and deciding she was lesbian and back again, all while she was pregnant. She would one day say how happy she was with this new guy and the very next day proclaim how much she hated men. I just wanted to shake her and tell her to just focus on her and the baby. She just caused herself so much more stress than what she actually needed. But it wasn't my place to say something to her about it because we hadn't been close since we were kids. So I just had to bite my tongue and watch her suffer.

[Kos2Kos]

And some days will be horrible. And some days will be tolerable but you do need to get rid of the stress in yout life. You cant stress over a grown man (i know its your husband)  when you have baby that actually needs you. And the baby can sense the stress. When i have a panic attack baby doesnt move for an hour as if he just is so overwhelmed he passes out. I dont like that feeling that its effecting baby. Thats why i went back on my meds.

[dee_lopez]

Yeah I do plan on getting back on them. I really Need to be on them. Some days are horrible

[Kos2Kos]

Im 25 weeks and my dr just put me back on my meds sincr i was starting to have a hard time with the anxiety and depression. And with my daughter i got post partum depression at 6 months along. So its good your venting. But you might want to talk to your dr. Cuz the anxiety and depression might not go away after the pregnancy.

[dee_lopez]

Its ok. You didn't say anything inappropriate. But thank you I hope everything gets better. Thanks for listening.

[BabyWidmer]

Sorry that was wrong of me to make that statement as I know life throws curve balls. I understand your side now. Maybe you should take some time for YOU and figure out who you are since you haven't gotten that chance. Wish you the best of luck!

[dee_lopez]

Trying to figure out what I need. And even though I have told him to move on and just give me time he says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me and wants to be there for me. He's a good person its just he doesn't try to be there for me emotionally. If I say I'm tired he says he is too. Idk I just want some calmness in my life. And I support my kids on my own. I work from home for an insurance company, I'm an agent. So I support them I don't depend on anyone to do that. My kids I had them they're my responsibility. I just want to have a quiet peaceful pregnancy without all the drama and enjoy bringing my baby into our family. My kids and I can't wait and we've waited along time for him. I don't get offended easily and I do know the difference between right and wrong that's why All this is driving me crazy because I'm tired of being this way. I am a very organized person I hate not knowing ... I think that's what gets to me. Idk. Thanks for yalls opinion.  

[dee_lopez]

I'm not offended at all. I actually have told him how I really feel. He's older and he says he's been though a lot married twice and was in a long term relationship before me and wants to settle down. I honestly feel like he wants to be with me because he doesn't want to be alone. He was always working and doing so much before me and now that he's with me he had such a hard time finding a KOB and we've been struggling financially so bad. Like I've never been this bad, and my kids at first were very happy about my bf and I and they say they want me to be happy. My kids know my life was very hard. I grew up fast and I never tell them that my choices are right. My oldest is graduating they had never gone without and it wasn't so much that I thought the grass was greener its that I got tired of the way my husband was acting. He never did anything nice or paid attention to me or felt it was important to show me he loved me. I know he did but I wanted the romance, that and we have been through a lot together and I just got tired and he was just so extremely comfortable and when I would tell him our relationship is in trouble he would say " eh, we'll get through it" like it wasn't a big deal. It was because I still loved him but I didn't feel like he loved me as much anymore. I was married when I was 16 and my husband beat the hell out of me the day AFTER we were married and made my life miserable as soon as I had my son I left, like literally the next week. I met my oldest daughters dad and got pregnant like the first time we had sex. We just didn't work out then I met my husband and we had 4 beautiful babies. So I don't keep having kids with different men. I made bad choices in partners. I'm trying now. And I do my best and hardest by my kids. Everyone who knows me will tell you. Its just everything that has happened this past year has been very hard. My bf isn't being used, I have always been upfront with feelings and I always talk to him and sometimes I think that's the problem we're too open with each other. He's been through a lot and has a crazy story also and has been cheated on and I feel like  he puts all those things that other ppl have done to him on me. I'm

[Roxxxy915]

Yeah what mafatumo^ saiddd!

[BabyWidmer]

^^^agree!! If your husband has moved on you should let him! You were the one that thought grass was greener on the other side and now regret it. You need to let your bf go because you are just using him

[mafatumo]

This is a crazy story. I'm sorry to hear all this is happening but you need to be stable especially with all those kids you have. You can't be running from one man to another. Kids watch what their parents do and they emulate some behaviors and think it's okay to have kids with different men. If you love your husband,  why not go back with him instead of wasting this guy's time? You are old enough to know right and wrong and how you feel.stand on your ground and make a decision or block out everything and focus on your pregnancy and your other kids.goodluck. hope i didn't offend you in anyway. Just don't know how to sugar coat anything.  Do something about this issue before you regret your choices.

[rabeccarice]

I'm so sorry I would talk to your husband and sorry to say you need to leave tour bf if you still want to be with your husband then you should not be with him. Stay strong

[chantalceleste]

I was going through almost the same thing. I can't judge you or will  not judge you because everyone makes mistakes. My exhusband and I went through the same thing. I now have a bf and I'm 18+6 weeks pregnant. My bf and I are going through alot right now. My ex still contacts me and my bf does not like that. We got into a huge argument and he goes through his phases where he doesn't talk to me. My bf is the most supportive, caring, understanding man I know but we go through a lot of crap. I've  been through a lot of stress the past month with my bf and there are days and nights I cry. Sometimes I want to give up. But I love my bf and I'm  trying to fix everything. Sorry this is so long. Didnt  mean to make it about me. I just wanted you to know that you're  not alone. We all go through some difficult times and yes it can be hard. We have to push through for our babies. Hope everything turns out ok.