Help!?

[mommafrog]

Looking for positive input. I've been w/ my SO for 13+yrs 2 kids & 1 on the way...we've had our ups & downs over the yrs, my biggest problem is he's nota big help around the house, taking care of kids n such. Whatever bills his name is in he pays those bills ONLY what's in my name I'm to deal with...he makes at least 10$ more an hr than I do, yet he complains when I ask for help...which is often cuz  i only get paid twice a month. What would u do if u were in my shoes? Sorry so long...and thx :)

[JennieMelee]

Wow. If you two are living together and have a family. There should be no split finances. All the bills should be paid together and all free money shared.

[nicolemk]

I have a similar story. Been with my SO for 8+ years, and we have 3 kids between us, one together and one on the way. We separated for almost a year back in 2010 and when we got back together we bought our house and put all our money together. We are much stronger now. It sounds like he's holding out on you which isn't right at all. If you are going to be together you need to be together on everything. Why not make a budget account together for bills, average out the ones that vary by month and at least start there. Bills shouldn't be mine and yours especially utilities and such if you live together.

[annat33]

Me and the hubby still have seperate bank accounts butdo the budget and make sure bills are paid and make sure ehatever money is left over gets split evenly between us. Hes the only one working so I go into both bank accounts. If he cant let go of the past you need to have a serious talk with him if he can't move on I don't see how there will be a future with you guys even on good terms. Right now its like your single any way so I'd tell him that he has a responsibility to you and his kids.

[KDQ]

As soon as the hubby and I got married we closed our bank accounts and opened a joined checking and savings account. Every cent we make goes into the same account. That way we are paying bills together and saving together. There is no his or mine it is ours. This helps us save and budget better as every cent is accounted for.

[shastas84]

I would definitely look at going separate ways. It sounds like he can't move forward. If you can't move forward, that only leaves backwards.

[mommafrog]

Thanks ladies I really don't think sitting down w/ an advisor would b something he would b willing to do....b4 kids we did put our money together, so I don't understand y he won't now...other than when our oldest was 1 1/2 we split for a yr, ever since then he throws that in my face & don't trust me....immature I know....maybe it's time to go our seperate ways!?

[XxKitaraxX]

Put everything together and pay from that, that's what me and hubby do there's no his and mine

[Treksy]

You live together,youve made human life together.
There is no "yours and mine" anymore!
Im not sure how to make him see that perhaps a discussion about it. Look at it like this. Helping you now would be a lot better than court ordered child support taken from his wages without him even agreeing!

Sorry to sound harsh but I lived a similar situation with my first childs father. It was so stressful!

[shastas84]

Go together to see a financial advisor. Maybe someone else, a professional, can get through to him in a way you can't. Hope you can find something to help.