Husband trouble

[katalina2603]

Hi everyone. I'm at the end of my rope and don't know what else to do. Me and my husband have been married almost 10 years, we have a 8 year old and I'm 8 months pregnant with our 2nd child. This is my problem. my husband has an ex girlfriend who he keeps in contact with. I'm not the jealous type so him taking to his ex didn't bother me until I read a text message where she is taking about her private parts, I confronted my husband and told him he needs to stop talking to her bcuz she doesn't know her boundaries as a friend. He promised he would and i found out later he lied. Well one day he was in the shower and he gets a text from her and its her asking him to leave me for him. I called her immediately and told her to leave him alone that he was married and to stop calling him. i told my husband who said he didn't know she felt that way and he wouldnt speak to her agin,which he didn't for a couple of years. Then i see that their are friends of Facebook. I called him abd he said he didn't realieze that would hurt me and unfriended her. I was so angry I didn't speak to him for days but I forgave him. while about a month I see they are friends on instagram and I told him I'm done with this situation and he needs to leave. He wouldn't leave so I left for a few hours.he next day he apologized and I saw he had unfriended her. For the sake of our unborn baby I tried to move passed it. while 3 days ago I was checking his messages on his phone for questions about our baby shower when I see a suspicious text so I read the message and googled the number and it was his ex. I was so furious I told him I want a divorce and I'm done. He told me he's just a nice guy and when she contacts him he can't be mean. I think that's crap. He is still living here because I need someone to be with me since I'm so far in my pregnancy. I made us a appt with a marriage counsel but the soonest appt is in a month. I love him but I wont put up with this. What your opinion? Please tell me if you think im over reacting?sorry so long

[momof3girlz999]

Put your foot down! It's either he decides he wants to change and does whatever you want him to or he leaves. He obviously doesn't care what being married means. He made a commitment to you and if he can't honour it then as much as it hurts your wasting your time and your love. Unfortunately you can not make him change. I went through a similar situation back in 2002. He never cheated but was emotionally involved with a girl. Turns out his friend was trying to set him up with his gfs best friend. I was devastated. I made him leave. He never talked to her again ( he lived with his mother) he never went anywhere but to work and home. He made sure his mother could account for him so I could contact her so I would feel better and hopefully trust him again. It took many months but eventually I decided to forgive but not forget the pain he put me and our infant child through. Through the years he has never lied. He dropped almost all of his friends, changed careers, and will never talk to a women unless its mutually agreed upon. I had to put my foot down. I do sometimes feel bad that I have to be bossy but then I remember he did it to himself. And he is perfectly happy. I hope your husband changes for you and your families sake. :'(

[december25baby]

I am so glad you are reacting the way you are to all this!! Its sad to read so many women who just put up with it. Ireally wish you the best of luck on everything!!

[sassymommy88]

You are so much in the right.  I would defiantly go to counseling but if you would just let this little chat continue it may just go further... how would he feel if ANY guy asked you about his privates.. he wouldn't be ok with it if he had any respect for himself or you.. which your ground.. don't be the ground.. you got it girl

[Jarae26]

Just my opinion but I would be done with it. Getting a new number won't do any good since he lied about takking to her or being her friend so many times. The fact he didn't know how she felt about him is crap being they talk as much as they do...he has to lie about it & she talked about her private parts. In what world is that ok?? It'd be hard leaving being as you have kids....but you don't deserve that crap and neither do your kids

[exctdmommythubee]

You are most certainly not overreacting, when I was dating my husband I didn't like it when he talked to this girl. He eventually stopped talking to her because it wasn't worth the trouble. If he loves you then he should take your feelings into consideration. Talk to him and definitely go see a counselor, it'll all work out in the end. We're all rooting for you!

[nicolemk]

Delete all his social media accounts, if you want them they should be joint, it is true they cause problems in relationships and definitely change is phone number and delete her contact info. Completely ridiculous!

[annat33]

Ok so me and my husband went through hard times with the pregnancy before this one. Well I was close to my due date and he decided he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me or not and that he thought i pressured him into having a baby. Well I was devistated and depressed for a few days and I was crying none stop. Well during that time I found out he cheated on me and slept with one of his clients that he trained at a gym he was working for. So right there I new he needed to make a choice I told him the grass isn't greener on the other side even if he got into a new relationship everyone has problems. So we either tried to make it work he needed to quit his job and change his number or I would walk out take my girls with me and he could see them on the weekends. Again I was still preg with one of them. Well he thought about it a lil and decided to try and work things out and he's done everything I've asked him to to build my trust again. And he's been a really good father. So my advice is to have a convo with him and sounds like he needs a new phone number.

[havincinco]

Dont make any decisions without the counseling first. Im so sorry you have to go through this while pregnant,no less! But for the entire family's sake, go to the counseling and see how much change he really is willing to make. We dont have Facebook or Instagram in our house. It seems people have an easier time acting outside of how they should in the comforts of their computers. And for whatever reason, or insecurity, it sounds like your husband just likes the attention. You have every right to be livid! But see if some counseling can bring about some honesty out of him.....even if it hurts.

[Mrs_Baze]

I would definitely give the counseling a chance. You have a right to be upset, but he also has a right to do whatever he can for his marriage.

[baby2014]

It's time for a phone switch you get his phone and he takes yours. Then have the numbers changed. I would also delete Facebook permanently instagram and any other social network. That's for both of you. That's how my husband and I worked things out. Marriage counseling is a great idea.

BTW you are in the right. He really should be respecting you and not associating with women as friends. Especially ex girlfriends. Don't take it wrong we associate with the opposite sex but we do not befriend them and call them. It saves a lot of problems in a marriage. I would seriously go with the counseling and seriously switch phones for now and until after y'all see the therapist.  

[bbm1188]

That is total crap. Why does he want to talk to her so bad, its Kinda weird to me.she needs to back off and he needs to stop letting her back in. I would try the counseling, see where that goes. I hope he wisesup and realizes Being a nice guy would also mean listening and respecting his wife. Sorry your going through this

[taymill]

Hi, I Dont think ur over reacting bcus u did ask nicely plenty of times for him to unfriend her on fb n instagram. Which he did, I Dont understand why he is even still talking to her threw text anyway. He can still be a nice guy n it can be on a hi, by basis if he was to see her out on the streets. Bcus I look at it as of her disrespecting u as well Bcus she knows ur his wife. N she should know her place even as a friend. But I Dont blame u for being upset Bcus if I was in ur shoes with my hubby I would be mad as well. Stick to the way u feel.... N hopefully he will get it n understand it. Good luck:-)

[klg22]

Nope, I don't think you're overreacting x

[shastas84]

It's not ok for a married man to do these things. I really don't think you're over reacting to any of it. I'm sorry you're going through this. :( inbox me if you need to talk to someone

[jerica86]

I wouldn't put up with it either and I would tell him nice or not choose family or "friend"