Thank you. I sort of had my mind made up but I think with my hormones I am second guessing everything. I know it's the right thing to do but I want my child happy. And not with some guy coming in and out of their life or him being a father when it's convientent for him. But thank you all for your feed back.
Sounds like your mind was made up before you made this post... I'm confused now. You don't need our feedback if you know what your going to do already hun. Well again good luck, and for now just focus on having a healthy, stress free, pregnancy, and healthy baby :-)
If you read why I wrote I found out AFTER we broke up about his kids. Their mother is the one who contacted me. I mentioned it to him and he denied everything. She sent me screen shots of convos between them. Under different circumstances I would have no problem telling him about the baby. But taking he fact he doesn't care for either of his 5 kids. In and out of their life and causing nothing but problems. I am not going to my family or my child thru that.
Okay I only think you should tell him, because in the future if your child fall sick, need blood, or anything like that he needs to know his father's health history. My sister would've died if my father wasn't there to give her blood. I don't think you should be nice, and open up doors for him, but yes communication is important for your child sake. He may need a liver or something you never know. I wish you all the best hun. Good luck
There's 3 versions of every story. Hers his and the truth. Why would you sleep with someone who allegedly has 5 kids and doesnt care about them?
If he never talks to her again, per his pattern with having kids, then it won't cause problems like her husband is projecting. And you also won't feel guilty.
A lot of people have exes they have kids with, it's not an uncommon situation. And her husband will still be a father to the baby that won't change. I just think it's wrong to not say something.
If he is abusive obviously different story.
It doesn't matter on why I think he is a jerk. He doesn't care for the kids he has. He hasn't been around his kids in years. His 16 year old daughter wants nothing to do with him because he was never there. I found all this out after we broke up. I understand I am a married women. We were SEPARATED meaning going thru the process for the divorce. So technically I was single. Like I said my husband and I will have to make a decision when the baby gets older to tell him/her about the biological father
She stated that the X has FIVE KIDS that he doesn't take care of. Makes him a douche in my book
Why is he a jerk? Did he cheat on you? Can't commit? That doesn't make a bad father. Regardless if it's hard I think the right thing to do is to tell him. You made the situation as a married woman (you're married until you get a divorce, there is no gray area) to have a relationship with someone other than your husband and it went south. If you can live the rest of your life lying to your kid then I guess go for it. But again, just because it's easier doesn't make it right.
Don't Tell The Ex Anything.... You And Your Husband Will Be Just Fine
Yes. That is why my husband and I don't want to tell him. I think we made the decision and we are going to stick by it. When the baby gets older we will have to make another decision on to tell him/her about his biological father.
Like someone else said, your husband is the legal father anyways. As long as he knows, F the other guy. If he's not taking care of 5 kids that he already has he doesn't DESERVE to know about the baby.
I am torn. I know it's only right that this guy should know but I don't want to tell him and it cause problems in my marriage.
Yes my boyfriend is like that too. He says he wants to father this baby but he doesn't want the other guy involved because he will ruin our family
I understand what everyone is saying. My husband does not want me to tell him. He thinks that this guy is going cause problems.
This is my exact situation. I found out about my pregnancy with my ex when I was already with my boyfriend. My boyfriend had accepted to take full responsibility of this baby without even me having to ask him. Your husband and my boyfriend are true men. However I did tell my ex about my the baby and he asked me to abort it and hasn't even tried to talking to me. So I say you still tell your ex but first make sure your husband is okay with it. Men deserve know they have children. Its on them to be a dad
Just read that ur friends and family know. That makes it tricky bc someone might tell your kid.
If your married then legally the baby is your husband's. Given the situation I wouldn't involve the other guy. However make sure your husband is serious about taking responsibility and wont change his mind even if yall break up again. Also keep all the guys info in case u decide to tell child in future and they want to find him.
That's what my husband and I are thinking. Some of my friends and family see it differently. My husband and I are going to raise this child as ours. I guess I needed to hear an outsiders opinion. Thank you
If your husband wanta to raise the child as his then I wouldn't have the urge to say anything to the man responsible. Especially since he has children he isn't involved with at all, what if he only wants to be in this childs life to make your life h e l l or make your husband angry? Theres just so many ways it can go and seems it would cause more negative reactions and stress than anything.