family after baby is born

[giraffe1020]

I asked my husband what he thought if I had no one visit me and the baby in the hospital. He said the first 24 hours he doesn't care but he knows people will want to come. I am feeling wishy washy and not sure yet but I think maybe I want to say no visitors until I go home. Anyone had experience if being overwhelmed with visitors? Will it hurt feelings if I say meet the baby when I get home?

[junebaby2]

When I was induced with my first everybody knew we were heading in. I specifically said "I will announce when the welcome mat is out" but nobody cared. The whole waiting room was full of my bfs family. Mine stayed back following my wishes and got po'd that they were missing out when the other side was there. My sister was only one I gave permission to be in the room. My bf family gave her a bunch of attitude about it not being fair. They all tried at various points to get in the door. I was in labor for 22 hrs and getting all their complaint texts about taking too long and being inconsiderate that they were waiting. Yes really. I was livid. It ruined the entire experience for me. I delivered late at night finally. Told my bf to tell them all to go home. I was up all night. Bright and early they all returned...about 16 people at once. I hadn't eaten or showered yet. I was still naked with a receiving blanket covering my breast. My neck and chest still had baby gunk on it. I was NOT visitor ready. Nobody cared. People even brought their friends whom I've never even met. I kept my mouth shut the whole time not wanting to hurt anybody else's feelings but it seriously hurt me. This time around I'm making signs for door and having desk block all people (both I didn't know you coukd do till after the fact) its your day, do what you want, its OK to not worry about everybody else's feelings and I wish I had had someone to say that me

[July2mama]

I am totally with you and have discussed this with baby daddy ( my fiancE). since we both have such a large families we have agreed that we are only going to allow the grandparents and aunts and uncles the first day. I feel I will be exhausted and maybe overwhelmed and don't want a bunch of people there. most people should be understanding and if they are offended I really don't care.

[giraffe1020]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I can't predict how I will feel honestly because my family can be overwhelming or just what I need depending on the day. I'm mostly concerned with being overwhelmed passing the baby around and people sticking around too long. So its a good suggestion that people will not stay as long as when I'm at home. I'll think about it some more.

[triple_a_mama]

WWhen I went into labor with my 1st I think my family occupied the entire waiting room and this was when H1N1 was in full swing so they weren't letting anybody in to see the babies. My sister actually walked around to the back of the hospital and came to my room window with a sign just to see her new niece lol.

[myfirsttimearound]

I welcome guess at the hospital its when i go home i discouraged visitors atleast for the first two weeks

[nbussey]

I would be so sad if no one comes visit us at the hospital.  It means a lot for someone to go out of their way to visit you at the hospital.  I think it shows how much they care.

[Mz_BAT]

I feel the same way ugh..let me have time with my baby ..I really dont wanty family to know I WENt into labor lol but that might be too rude but I feel you

[jasmin620]

I would love for  them to come i mean the ppl that care would come to the hospital and at home me personally i wouldnt mind ..i mean ya your exhausted and just wana sleep but i mean theyve been in this journey with you and i think it would be nice them coming for 15-20 mins wont haram! Just my thought.

[BugsMommy07]

I was very overwhelmed with my daughter having so many people in and out. It was a pain for the nurses to come take care of me and check my incision (from my C section) and I could not rest at all. I as well said I would rather not have people coming and going and my fiancé said it is my choice on how we do it so I'm more comfortable due to a c section for this one as well. I feel that yes people will want to be there but also they need to understand that you need rest and to be able to take care of your newborn too.

[secondandlastone0914]

I said no visitors besides my aunt uncle and cousin my aunts best friend/my friend whom was there at time of birth my aunt and her best friend/ my friend was there cause she is the godmother of my firsy born her husband also visited at hospital  ( he developed cancer and  past away ) he was god father of my first born he stayed home with his kids while she was visiting and she stayed home when he came up to visit   other than that it was at home visits by friends and other family and they were informed to call before making a trip to the house that way I was not so over crowded at the house the first week or so either told them they just show up no phone call would not be allowed in it did upset some people but they respected my wishes will be the same with when tjis one is born whatever you decide wish you the best of luck and hope the family and friends respect you and your Hubby's wishes

[mckaylas_momma1018]

I was very overwhelmed with visitors when my daughter was born... everybody wanted to visit and all I wanted to do was sleep and bond with her... I dont see anything wrong with saying no visitors or limiting the times and duration of their visit... you barely get any rest in the hospital as it is...

[uvamom2boys]

I'd rather have them at the hospital than my home.  We have 4 other kids and I always feel the need to clean up and play hostess at home.  Most people only want to spend a little bit if time at a hospital.

[emommyof3]

Im going to the birthing center and they only keep you for 6 hours after you have the baby so I told my midwife that I didnt want anyone allowed in the room after I had the baby the only people I wanted was my husband and my sister. I also dont want anyone at my house the first couple days and my husband says its up to me. Im one of those moms that dont like my new born being passed around.

[Bigapplefamily]

My friends came to see me in hospital and immediate family. I didn't want anyone there for first 24 hours though. But after that I was feeling better and more settled so was happy to have people come see me as I was a bit bored haha

[brit333]

I hardly had any visitors in the hospital except immediate family. Then honestly hardly anyone came over to my house after I had my baby except again immediate family who brought me dinner the first 2 weeks. It was kind of sad. But do what you feel up to. Having them at the hospital kind of means you will have less at home when you get home which can be nice.

[thorarb]

With my first I wish like hell id have put my foot down and said no visitors or at least limited them.  I had so many people in, out and hanging around I felt like I never got any rest. I was dealing with a c section and bad reactions to pain meds on top of all the people. I was so worn out.

This time everybody can just wait until I get home!! The only people I want on the room is my husband and my children. Everyone else can buzz off lol

[Jrob0530]

I'm feeling the same way my family is HUGE and I have a handful of friends talking about popping by. I'm already overwhelmed with attention to the point I want to turn off my phone. When my cousin had her daughter a few years ago all the visits made her blood pressure go up etc. she ended up in the hospital longer. Some of us are just uncomfortable being the center of attention.

[kboss7]

I don't know your relationship with your families or how big they are but you could have only immediate family come visit and no friends or extended family. That way it's a little bit of a compromise for what you want and what your husband wants. I know my parents and siblings and my husband's parents would be devastated if we told them they couldn't come to the hospital. I think after 24 hours is a good suggestion. I loved the visitors,  after the first day especially because I was able to rest a little and shower and by then I was so bored in the hospital it was nice to have people there to talk to and hang out with for a little bit.

[krysmichelle]

it might hurt some people's feelings bur most just want to be among the first to see and hold your lil one

[knufrio]

Your nurses should stand by your side. If you decide to have visitors and and start to feel overwhelmed just tell your nurse you don't want anybody else coming in and they shouldn't let people in to see you.

[thenewmrs_b]

Personally I had my family and friends work out a schedule when my first was born so that not everyone was in there at once... my cousins wife blocked everyone from coming and I know a lot of people were very annoyed with her and thought it was rude... I guess maybe feel your family out or explain why you want that time to yourself