Whatever you do dont turn to alcohol to numb the pain. I did things to my husband I can never take back. Find positive ways to filter your feelings.
Ive had it with all of my pregnancies and afterwards as well. Im pregnant with number 5 and plan on being put on antidepressants as soon as baby is born. I tried to do it without anything last time and really felt like I went crazy. It just hits you and really hard. Not every women gets it or at least not as bad.
It is a good idea to seek counseling for your concerns now. Even if you don't happen to experience it, at least you can voice your concerns and get it out so you do not dwell on it. You are not your mother (or hers and so on) so you don't have to suffer the same way. If you are conscious of the risk and begin counseling now, at least you will be accountable to your counselor and she/he can keep an eye on you in the event that you do have issues. It can manifest so many ways and for so many reasons.
Just make sure you tell your doctor everything in advance and she or he can set up appointments with your clinics OB therapist.. I didn't start going to mine untell I was pretty deep into my postpartum depression.. I wish I would have gone sooner probably would have helped... I had a lot of really horrible melt downs before I realized I needed professional help.. I too was on a dark dark path I would lock myself in the bathroom and contemplate ending it all my husband and to literally break the door down 3 times.. It got to the point were he wouldn't let me be alone at all .. He would watch me take a bath... I never had thoughts of hurting anyone else especially not the baby but I thought about hurting my self a lot... So if your worried now I would try and prevent it by talking to your doctor.. I didn't have it with my first son. And didn't really think I would have it with my second.. But my mother had it soi bad with me she had to send me and my siblings to stay with family after she had me because she was so scared she would do something horrible.. She had it for almost a year after I was born and worrend me it was genetic.. Soo please please try and get help now before things get worse
I'm terrified I'm going to have it. Its highly prevalent on my maternal side including my own mother's suicide when I was two weeks old. All I can hope is that awareness and positive thinking plus organizing my support system will keep me in check.
I had it bad with my youngest son .. I had mixed feelings in my pregnancy I loved being pregnant but I had ups and downs for sure. It wasn't tell about day three after giving birth that I felt so sad for no reason then spiraled into a really really horrible depression. It scared me so bad my husband had to take me to the ER .. I got on some medication that helped but I still have my off days.. My youngest son just turned one and my oldest is 5 iv got baby #3 on the way I'm 15 weeks and so far only maybe 5 bad days so far.. ** PS** its the little things we woman dwell on that can put depression and anxiety in motion.. Iv learned that the hard way.. So as hard as it is don't sweat the little stuff.. And be honest about you feelings and emotions .. Get help if you need it
A friend was really sick throughout her pregnancy so depression was a given, she started feeling better towards the end and crashed hard when reality of what being a mom set in after having the baby. Her baby is now six months and with support she's starting to come back around. I personally haven't experienced it but it's different for everyone and it isn't always so obvious. Try to stay positive and talk to any and everyone if you're feeling low or you need to vent.