not what I expected

[bbm1188]

I think the best way to feel inadequate is become a first time mom. I read books upon my childs first year. Unfortantly I feel like all the studying was for nothing cause I seriously can't remember anything from the books. I've messed up a few time with my newborn, like stupid mistakes ill blame on sleep deprivation. It hasn't all been bad but yea this is hard. This is what I expected it to be. But I hate feeling so inadequate and making mistakes. Feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing. I've got some instincts but they dont help with everything. Is feeling this way normal?

[aprilj93]

Its completely normal! And were your parents perfect?  I'm sure they made mistakes too, you and baby will be fine. Just remember people will make you feel worse by saying yoyu should do this or that.. they aren't perfect either! Just take it one step at a time and you will get it figured out

[Mandatace]

Xx you will be fine. We were all first time mums at some point. Xx

[bbm1188]

I want to reach out to other moms I just have a rough time making friends. I've got some friends though but they live far away noe. Im looking into like support forums for moms to help me in the mean time. And no no serious mistakes just the ones you mentioned. Like the formula came with a scoop buried in the can and I did not realize or know that. I was using a different formula scoop not realizing the scoops aren't all the same size. Lol or my baby was getting constipated from her formula and I didnt realize she was getting constipated from that. I've solved some problems to dont gey me wrong. I solved the constipation problem but still this is hard. And aw mand you can relate then. I'm so happy for you that's just awesome. Congrats!!  I hope everything goes well for your delivery. Thanks for relating to me and making me feel better.

[Mandatace]

I was and am the same with my son. I was told I would never have kids. So when I fell preg the first time I was so shocked.. Lol but I would spend hours just watching him sleep, not believing how lucky I was. Then when I found out I was pregnant with this one, I couldn't believe we had gotten so lucky twice. I freaked for the first few months until I could feel baby move, because I had no symptoms, no nausea, no pain, no spotting nothing.  So I kept thinking it was all a dream. I am now 36+5 with my second baby and am seeing my Dr tomorrow to book an induction date for around the first week of December. If I never have another baby I consider myself to be extremely luck to have what I have already in life.

[RockRose]

I just went to your profile and saw your baby is just a week old. It's pretty typical to feel this way,  bbm.  You're recovering from pregnancy and major surgery,

[RockRose]

bbm,  have you sought out other mothers for playgroups/momgroups/friendships?  This is such a great time to meet other mothers and form really deep friendships.  You get a lot of helpful practical information from other moms who are going through the same thing - and lots of support.

I am kind of curious about what kind of "mistakes" you are making.  Are they really silly little things like accidentally mixing the formula the wrong strength once or forgetting to buy diapers or are they more serious ones that could cause the baby harm?

[bbm1188]

Yea I'm constantly taking photos. Seriously cant stop taking photos lol its a very precious time. This may be the only child I can have so she's very special in that way to me, she's seriously the child everyone told me I'd never be able to have so I guess it makes me appriciate her that much more.

[Mandatace]

I know exactly what your saying. It almost feels like I am starting over again my son is 7 in a few weeks and this one will be here just before that... So I feel like a first time mum again... Lol.
I am so used to my sons growing independence that I have to remind myself that when bub is here, he will be completely dependent on me...
Only other advice I can give is take lots of photos and enjoy it as much as possible. They grow way too quickly. Xx

[bbm1188]

Thanks. I need the encouragement. Ah I can't wait to maybe feel a little more confident. At least my baby knows she is loved with kisses and cuddles

[Mandatace]

I remember feeling like this with my first. I think I was ringing my mother every few hours stressing over little things. The best advice my mum gave me was 'babies can't read, so they don't know what they "should and shouldn't" be doing'
Relax Hun your doing great, and as for mistakes, it's how we learn. I did some absolute no brainers with my son, he is now 6 years old and I still do them on occasion.
You will get there, just take a breath and relax.