Aa
needing ladies to confide in
Well first off I want to start off saying I love my husband with my whole heart and would never want to hurt him but I'm just not physically attracted to him anymore :( since we've been married hes put on 50 pounds of weight and now weighing 270 and I'm weighing 112 at 21 weeks pregnant. His dad is in and out of the hospital with heart attacks at 50 years old and his grandpa died at 41 of heart attack so I'm worry he will start with heart problems soon because of how much he eats and how unhealthy he is. Ive tried cooking healthy meals but he just goes to sonic and gets large ice cream blast after or pigs out on chips hunny buns brownies and soda. Anytime I talk to him about it he ends up eating more and gaining more weight idk what to do anymore im stressed about his health and our sex life is dying because hes so big. Please help?
if I were in your position, the scariest thing to me is that with his history he could miss your child's high school graduation, becoming a grandfather, etc because he won't commit to being healthy. when he is ready for an honest conversation, bring that up because that would do more to bring about change in me than just being unattractive.
Maybe let him know at his weight it will be hard for him to run and play with his kids and they will miss out on a lot of fun things to do because he won't be able to participate. If this is your first child together that might hit home a little more. My hubby and I have gained a bit of weight and want to lose it, we don't want our children growing up with weight issues and we want to be able to do things with them.
Maybe you can start getting more active together. When you want to spend time together,go for walks or swimming or something.
Its not a complete solution but it might help.
Its not a complete solution but it might help.
I'm not saying specifically because his weight, I'm saying because his weight could cause other problems in your relationship and ultimately cause you both to be unhappy over time. Sorry if that was confusing. I'd just make sure if you talk to focus on you needing him healthy for you and the family you're having together.
I would never walk away or leave because of his weight Im not going to give up but I hate that its affecting our sex life. His friend asked him to start bike riding with him and he shot him down and his moms even came over and told him he needs to get a grip and shes going to buy him diet pills to supress his appitite called slim vie so we will see if he takes them and if it helps
It probably hurts his feet because he is over weight and it puts too much pressure on them (his own fault). Do you think he would like riding a bike or swimming? If you've tried it may just get to the point where you have to leave. It's about more than just his weight. He has a wife and child to be there for, if he is unhealthy he is cutting off years of his life potentially. Especially with his family history. There's only so many chances you can give a person before you have to walk away unfortunately. You deserve someone willing to make an effort for you.
Oh and he wont go walking with me cause his feet hurt him and he went to the dr and they said nothings wrong but he thinks they're liars and he doesnt get that its because of all the recent weight gain putting so much pressure on his joints.
My point is I've tried everything i could possibly do on my part to help him and motivate him in a nonhurtful way ladies and its not working :( guess im going to have to have that honest talk with him even though it will hurt it might make things better for us.
Well like I said ive talked to him before... I can't lose the weight for him only he can watch what he eats in portions and what decisions he makes. He has every excuse in the book on why he wont eat healthier or exercise honestly hes in denial of his weight..this is what he said to me the other day "you need to start hang drying my shirts because I think drying them is making them shrink they're all tight on me" when we both know its due to his weight gain. He's not open to trying frozen yogurt or changing his eating habits no matter what I try or say. Im a healthy eater I always have fruits in the house nutra grain bars, gronola bars things like that but he stops at the store on his way home saying he bought me a surprise and its cosmo brownies hunny buns and dr pepper...I dont eat or drink any of that so whos he lying to...me or hisself? Its just getting frustrating amd like I said I dont want to hurt him.
If you need to talk more you can message me. Like I said I have been on the other side of the talk, and though it's hard to hear it's necessary. I played collegiate softball at a division I school, so I've always been in good shape, but I have a bigger build and potential to gain weight quickly. As long as you are open and not condescending he will hopefully understand. I plan out meals ahead of time to make sure I don't over do my calorie intake, which really helps. Maybe he could try that. You lose weight by eating less calories than your body uses, which causes you to burn fat and reserves so calorie intake is crucial. Also, cutting out empty calories like soda is very helpful! Going on a brisk 30 minute walk actually has the same benefits as jogging, so maybe you could start walking together? It's good for you and the babes. My husband and I always end up having some fun conversations on our walks! There are lots of body weight exercises he can do at home, so he doesn't even need to go to the gym if he doesn't want to!
Maybe try to get him to go for walks with you and make him some healthy desserts for after supper like yogurt and granola with fruit. . Or frozen yogurt instead of ice cream. Just so he can still have some sweets but are way healthier for him. If that doesn't work then you just might have to tell him the honest truth. Hope everything works out for you guys.
Thankyou so much I really needed someone to reply. Its been on my heart and mind for a long time now.
That is a really tough situation, especially if you have already talked about it with him. Unfortunately the best advice I can give is to explain to him that it is starting to hurt your relationship. Ask him to work on being healthier, that's a very fair thing to ask. I know my husband has told me he is concerned about me not losing the weight, because he won't be as attracted to me. Sex really is important in a relationship and if he doesn't make some life style changes it will hurt your marriage. You deserve someone willing to be healthy for you, especially with his family history. If he is eating well and exercising it should keep him at a healthy weight, even if it's still a little high. Hopefully if he knows it's hurting your marriage he will agree to make some life style changes. I personally was glad my husband was honest with me and told me about his fears, though I had every intention of trying to lose the weight. I told him I will not starve myself, but I will exercise and eat healthier (my degree is exercise and wellness, so I know better than many what that entails). Good luck, I hope you can get through to him.
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