So the closer I get to my due date, the more worried I get.
This is my first baby and I'm sure most women probably feel the way I do... I just want to talk about it. My husband doesn't understand and seems to shrug it off when I have talked to him about it so that *****.
Firstly, I want to try my hardest to give birth without an epidural or any medication. I am not completely closed minded to it, if it gets to a point where I can't handle the pain I will take medication for it. I know I won't be able to tell until the time comes. It's just a little scary when all you hear are stories of how bad it hurts. Of course I am expecting it to hurt, sometimes the stories are just insane. Then again all women experience it differently so. Who knows.
Also, I just have a fear that something terrible will go wrong. It's bad that I keep focusing on this but I literally have the worst luck in everything else in my life so I just assume something will happen "just because" it's me and I always get the ****** end of the stick.
Another thing, my doctor gave me a big risk of my child having down syndrome or another form of a trisomy. I decided not to get any tests done to tell if it is for sure because I was already about 20 weeks when I found out, as well as I wouldn't have done anything about it anyway. I will love my son no matter what but honestly, my whole pregnancy and even the birth has been ruined for me with that news and I hate it. I can't help but wonder about it every day.
Anyway, if anyone has any stories of their own dealing with fears and trying to stay positive, i'd like to read them. I know I'm not in this alone.