effective parenting?

[Mreeah]

Okay so,
24 weeks & worrying about my parenting skills.
I almost picked up "parenting with love & logic" at hastings and decided to read reviews and its apparently a bad book. Lol i agreed with a lot of what they had to say.
Obviously if you instruct a book into parenting its only going to work so much.  

But im just looking for tips about effective parenting.

[babyacorn]

I recommend reading "Hold on to your kids" I love reading parenting books and such and gleaning what I can from them. I find that while mothers intuition is best, we also pick up habits from our childhood that aren't necessarily effective ( ex. I was spanked as a child, and that's my first instinct with my son, but thankfully I've never acted on it. ) I see nothing wrong with educating yourself like giraffe1020 said on the normal development of children. Good luck!

[Bigapplefamily]

You have to take it one day at a time. Things come up and every child is different so they all have different needs. It's overwhelming to think of before they are even born. You can't possibly plan out every scenario. I find it's best to go the natural route and take it one day at a time for needs etc. The discipline part gets more difficult as they get older but you just have to navigate it the best you can and figure out what works for your particular child. Some need more discipline than others and you will know what your child needs when you reach those bridges.

[sprmom87]

Ive never read a book on parenting, each person does what they feel is best to raise their child to fit into society. And it is chalked full of ups and downs and figuring out what works best for not just your family but each individual child. I have one whos struggles with ODD and requires a strick environment with lots of love and absolutely minimal change to routines and schedules. My other is very laid back and goes with the flow, she prefers her independent time and will cuddle only on her terms. The fact that you are worried is a great sign that you will adjust and do fine. Enjoy the little momoments, practice manners and do what you feel is best.

[giraffe1020]

I actually get a lot from books on the developmental stages of children and what to expect. I think personally its very helpful to be prepared. But in my own case, I read a lot from a lot if sources and pick and choose what my philosophy is. I think this is the basis of your parenting. If you want a freethinker, you will do things differently than if you want a strict household. Everyone will have different advice because they will all have different philosophies on how the world should work. But you can probably take some local classes on caring for babies, schools often provide parenting classes, and you will learn a lot on the way. Just know that you will be stumped sometimes and hear conflicting ideas. I would advise to choose what feels right to you. Many things come naturally as far as what you tolerate and what you don't.

[thenewmrs_b]

I never read a book... but I was lucky and was 12 when my older sister started having kids and have watched her raise her kids. It helped so much because I have seen 16 years of parenting from her and what she did right and what she did wrong... talk to other parents you know that have kids you find to be well mannered etc and ask their advice

[KieaRai]

Exactly what she said ^
This is going to sound weird but having kids around is like having a more complicated pet when it comes to raising and training. Until their minds are grown enough to understand more words you have the simple commands like 'no' and 'stop that' and all that good stuff. The potty training is the same.. Humans are animals. And just like all other animals, everyone is different. Sometimes they're difficult and require a smack on the hand, a stern word, or time out. With others all you have to do is give them a look and they shape right up without you having to say anything. You have to figure out what's right for you and your kid. Books can give you great ideas but that's all they are...  ideas.... anyone who says you can raise every kid a certain way either doesn't have any and has never been around children or they're delusional. Haha! Read all the books you want to help suppliment your techniques but never depend on them to tell you how you should raise a child because no two act the same or will respond to the same type of training. You do what you need to and to hell with what everyone else thinks. There is no "right way" to raise a child.

[grizzlace]

You will never learn parenting from any book.It is a learn as you go experience. Best way is to observe others while they're at it and put your own twist on it. Best of luck. Oh and dont let anyone tell you how you should raise your child, only you can do that job.