advice greatly appreciated

[kat730]

I'm pregnant with my 3rd baby,due may 20. I'm very excited, but I've been having problems withmy husband andhis ex texting!! It wouldn't bother me so much but he deletes them and lies to me about it!! He says he's trying tojust help her with problems that she's having! Is there a way we can retrieve his deleted messages?? He said he has no problem with getting them for me to see!!  Am I being to horomal or should I worry?

[kat730]

He sounded and acted like he meant his sorry!! They have not talked in a week,which he is keeping his word!! I guess she got the picture to when he said he wasn't going totalk to her anymore!! Time will tell,and I'll be able tosee if they talk or text now

[katiij81]

I'm so sorry Kat730 I think it's more than likely he's been flirting with this woman (at a minimum). In my experience any contact that intense with another womam let alone an x is not innocent. But if his genuinely remorseful then he obviously regrets it. Personally I'd be so pissed!!!!!!! I would have already left to go stay with friends or family but no one truly knows your relationship or your partner but you. Just do what you think is best for you & the bub. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, take care of yourself x

[kat730]

Thank you very much

[AKCGsMom]

It's so easy to say "if my hubby cheats I'd be gone, period," but you must decide for yourself if your marriage and hubby are worth the pain and time required to get past it. Any betrayal; lies, texts, physical cheating, ect, is going to hurt. Good luck with everything.

[kat730]

He says he married me,that I mean everything to him!! Says he's sorry and its his stupidity for hiding the messages andhe promises that nothing was going on &says he cannot live without me!! But I think he has to prove it to me, has to show me instead of tell me!!

[kat730]

I think I'm going to try to contact her one more time&I've talked with him yesterday and he broke down in tears and says he was only trying to help her and it was nothing more. I really don't know if I believe him,just seeing those pics,hearing the advice from all of you,and advice from some of my personal friends!! I am planning on blocking her,but I'm giving that a little time to see if he or she decide to text again!! I have 1 boy&1 boy on the way with him&my daughter has a different father to which I wouldn't talk to if it wasn't for us having her!! So thank you all very much for all the comments&helping me through this!!

[baby414]

You can call the ex, you can read the text but, at the end of the day it won't solve nothing. your problem is with your husband if this man is not willing to work things out and give you the respect and loyalty you deserve. Then you need to figure out if you're willing to continue living that lifestyle. I personally think every woman deserves better. But it's your choice.

[mckaylas_momma1018]

I agree with what the other ladies have said about marriage... its a 100% effort from both parties... marriage is based on loyalty, trust, and faithfulness... if you don't trust him- you are 2 people who are bound by a piece of paper. I'm sorry you are going through this, especially when pregnant... I found messages through Facebook from my husband to his ex- back and forth and he was telling her he believed I was cheating on him when he was deployed back in 2009. He left his computer logged on to his account and while trying to go to my account I found them... the last message from them was June 2009 and I found them in September. .. the messages went on for about 2 months... I was furious and felt betrayed... asked him if he really believed I cheated on him because if he did I was done (we broke up 3 months before getting engaged and I contemplated giving him another chance, so why would I marry him 2 months before he deployed to just cheat)... he also swore he would never talk to her again and blocked her... I have checked periodically and randomly and he has kept his word

[beckyy28]

I agree marriage is 100/100!!  

[OctoberMommy2014]

ALREADY* not always broke the loyal rule.

[OctoberMommy2014]

yeah, the more & more I try to think of advice to give you, I think about the whole idea of marriage and what I was brought up to believe..

I've seen women in my church deal with infidelity, and so many people believe in "working through it".. but in my heart I believe there's some things you just can't work through.

he's always broken the loyal rule, only God knows what else.. I'd have to let my marriage go, and I'd have strength faith that God would take care of me & my child, and a real man would come along one day. easier said than done, I know you love him, you married him.. but marriage isn't 50/50, I believe marriage is 100/100.. and he is NOT putting in his 100%. ❤

[beckyy28]

Why put yourself through bs?

[bunnykissy]

And make sure he doesnt get google voice or a new texting number

[OctoberMommy2014]

well I'd just point blank demand ya'll go together to either:
1) BLOCK her number completely
2) change his #
3) do both, have him call her with you around & get everything out in the open!

if he has a problem with any of those, he has a problem with being in what is called MARRIAGE!! I'm only engaged, and it'd be over my dead body or my fiancé's if either of us associated with any of our ex's. no one cares about her problems.. except him & her apparently, and he shouldn't care!! I mean, it's a rule? he's obviously missed some sort of memo every other human on earth has accepted as a fact.

it's WRONG! I pray you get this mess settled sooner than later, your baby needs you to be HAPPY & healthy.. no stress!!

good luck & prayers!!

[kat730]

So I called thephone company andthey said that there is no way to retrieve thetext messages

[rebeccaann11]

Why dont you call and get her number blocked from his phone. It will stop it from happening down the road.

[kat730]

She will not talk to me&I have sat him down andhe continued to lie about it&now that he's caught lying again he said that he promises not to text her anymore. I just can't believe him right now&I want to see the texts&I'm also pretty sure there may have been pics sent to and from!! She's a coward and refused to speak withme

[bunnykissy]

Wow, id seriously beat the **** out of my husband if this happened, kids or no kids, that isn't cool at all. He is straight up playing you for a FOOL. CALL THIS ***** AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS.

[RockRose]

Found this online.  It is time sensitive,  so you have to act quickly before the text message memory is overwritten,  whatever that means time-wise.  :(

http://science.opposingviews.com/back-deleted-text-messages-verizon-phones-14390.html

[baby414]

I honestly don't think your focus should be on those text. Don't put yourself and your baby through that. Sit this man down and let him know that his relationship with his ex isn't acceptable. Get him to close that chapter in his life. Then move on from there. The text may contain hurtful stuff, please leave it alone.  Focus more on solving the problem, Good luck.

[thepenguinsrock]

Very not cool! My hubby would be my ex hubby if I caught him texting an ex especially if he deleted them x

[cupcakemum]

Why don't you call her? Ask her how she would feel if she were you. He needs to stop its bothering you. Let him get you the texts they have been sending each other,you will be surprised what you find.  

[xMommy2Be_]

Uh that's not his job to help her with her damn problems, tell that b-tch see a therapist. & tell your husband it is not his problem, if she got a problem she can see a therapist or talk to someone else. You are not just hormonal, its a husbands job to stay away from his ex, she's an ex for a reason.

[kat730]

I made a account and saw a bunch of texts&last Friday alone was 12 hours long texting&2 phone calls!! I want actual messages now!! Will someone help me figure outhow with out a court order! I'll feel so muchbetter knowing the truth, even ifit hurts!! I'm in shock now!