aggressive 6 year old

[rihannon]

I had a miscarriage about 7 months ago at 9 weeks, my 5 year old at the time was heart broken. So when I found out that I'm pregnant again I didn't tell him until night before last after I was 13 weeks. He is now 6, and super excited. But I an scared that once the baby comes he'll feel left out or something. He has aggression problems, and is always is is always being suspended from school (kindergarten) for fighting, and always gets detention or sent to the "behavior" room for not listening. I'm scared that he might try to take his anger out on the baby once it comes. He has also been diagnosed with severe disruptive behavioral disorder with angry and aggressive tendencies, adhd, and they don't want to diagnose him with bipolar because he is only 6 but they think he has that too... Help phrase! ? !

[KensleysMom]

My brother was like that till he was about 8. Samething, he would terrorize the classroom. One day he just became calm. I have no clue what changed.

[rihannon]

His is out if the "just a stage" thing. The phyc doc said that his is so off the wall that it's crazy... Now sense he was 2 I have been SCREAMING "NO MEDS"  but now that he's in school it's interfering with his education, so they gave him adderall, and the difference is crazy!

[KensleysMom]

My little brother was a character around that age, i hear that alot of boys are. My parents would beat him and he would go to school the next day and get in trouble again. Eventually he just grew out of that behavior. Some experts think its a phase in male brain development. But in the mean time you do have to come up with some method to control him.

[cristina3065]

My 13year old has Autism as well (diagnosed at age 2) keep him involved, allow him to help however he can, talk to him about the changes that come with having a baby and what his role will be as a big brother. Also, find ways to continue to spend one on one time with him even after the baby is born. Good luck! :)

[Flickan]

My brother had some of the same issues. When he starts acting up, give him a tablespoon of peanut butter. For some reason that helped to calm him down. It's worth a shot. Something about the protein I think. As for talking to him and keeping him involved, that will help I agree. Good luck.

[rihannon]

Thank all of you!  I will... sense I've told him he wakes up easy in the morning for school just because he wants to say hi and good morning to the baby thru my stomach. and he acts excited about the baby. But he likes to play rough, he's kinda controlling, and has mood swings... Idk maybe it's just jealously I'm scared of, or him thinking I'm favoring the baby... He's a super smart kid so I hope he does good

[egroat]

I think just try to involve him as much as you can in the pregnancy and prepping for baby process.

[Bri_1985]

Just another thought - if you are able to, buy a baby doll.  You can use this to show him what will be expected of him and what he can expect from you involving the baby.

[hjkj2013]

I work with kids in a mental health capacity and just want to say some of the kids who we worry most about reacting problems rise to the occasion and surprise us when given the chance. Parents who use little moments everyday to prep their kids for potential stressful situations (by asking how will it be different when baby comes and we go shopping....then listen to their concerns and follow up with little expectations for them like "and you can help mommy by..."). The more you talk about what's going to happen the more you'll hear about the concerns yout child has too...good luck and enjoy the experience.

[rihannon]

Thank you got you input!

[Bri_1985]

Kids are the hardest to predict. However, they sense things and if you arent strong and have that fear it will make it worse. My five year old was diagnosed with Autism and reading your post just makes me think of him.

Talk about the baby WITH your child always - theres a difference between talking with and talking at, talking with him means hes involved in the conversation. The further along you get, buy little trinkets for him saying they're from the baby (find out what youre having first as this will have a better influence saying "from your little sister" than "from the baby"). Have him help with naming the new sibling and make sure its a name he can pronounce without corrections.

For your baby shower, make sure he isnt left out by making it a combo of a "big brother shower". Have lil gifts for him to open too like a favorite toy, etc. Again - from the baby.

Some may see this as bribery, but its been working for my son. He still has behavior issues but getting a new baby is a huge change so, yes, your son most likely will continue with behavior issues because of it. If he has therapy, get them involved. They will be immensely helpful to you and him on preparing for the new baby.